I Eat Babies,
"If people would just say no, or go away, or look the guy in the eyes and say something to make him leave,
they would be victorious. They don't, they cower with
their heads hung, hoping the guy leaves."
As you are probably already aware, what you described
above is 'prey' behavior. Instead, you should be
setting an example by displaying how ones projected
behaviour can alter and actually avoid a potential
conflict. The application and understanding of the
three D's would fill this void. By demonstrating that
a bully can be defeated physically, you are sending
the message that this is the only way to handle these
individuals and in essence are demonstrating 'prey'
behavior or at the least letting your ego step in.
If you can teach or demonstrate to these individuals
that it is often easier and more effective to
avoid a confrontation, you will be providing them with
tools that will not only build their confidence level,
but will most likely stay with them for the rest of
Violence is not always the appropriate answer to
violence. Often, it will send a negative message. If
you are using the physical arsenal to assist someone
who is unable to fight back when the fight is already
on, then that is a totally different scenario.
Food for thought!
I Eat Babies,
Hi folks, and Tony, of coarse. This is my first post here, so be gentle, lol!
Needless to say I am developing quite the ability with regards to MMA. I am feeling myself drifting towards feeling comfortable backing down bullies. Sticking up for the people they are intimidating and pretty much looking to let them know how it feels.
I have come to grips with the fact I was not tough in H.S. and was picked on,a little. I never thought it bothered me, till I got these "super powers".
I am sure lots of guys on the forum do the same, but I have the guts to put a post up about it.
To make a long post shorter :-),do most guys go through this?
I have pondered this post a bit...
You asked me to be gentle, I will.
I only ask you to be really thoughtful and really introspect on my reply.
Do you know what creates a bully?
ANalyze that a little.
By backing down 'bullies' as you put it, are you not bullying the bully? And if so, what does an observer make of your behavior?
More importantly, the people you rescue, have you? Or are they now co-dependent on you being present? In other words, are they now walking with fear [more and/or still].
Use you confidence to create confidence, not to instill fear or perpetuate fear or violence.
***That in no way means do not step in and intervene or defuse a possible confrontation. It means possible stop looking to undo what happened to you [the bullying] by bullying people you now feel power over.
Again, use your confidence to build confidence.
And to your answer, do most people who were picked on go through this, yes, to some degree. We all have been picked on somewhere along the way, we all must learn from it and use it to understand what's worng with oppression and move past it.
What creates a bully? Hmm, probally low self esteem, some sort of complex, probally wanting to impress everyone withbeing a tough guy. Fear of being bullied himself?
Fear of being bullied himself is what I am counting on. I figure if they felt what they do to others then maybe they will knock it off.
So when I offer to fight a bully or stick up for someone else, I just assume everyone thinks the bully will get what he has coming to him. I dont go looking to initiate this, it usually presents itself. In about 2 years I have fought four of them, and I got them all to submit with a rear naked, so I dont pound any of them, just manhandle tem abit.
The guys I am sticking up for I was assuming that I was setting an example, like how not to take anyones crap. If people would just say no, or go away, or just look the guy in the eyes and say something to make him leave, they would be victorious. They dont, they cower with their heads hung, hoping the guy leaves. Maybe they have just never seen what to do? This is what I am aiming for.
I odnt want to be a bully, I just want to offer a hand to people who dont know what to do.
Thanks for the response Tony.
I Eat Babies,
If you would like more information on F.E.A.R. management and conflict resolution you should get your hands on the "Cerebral Self Defense" audiotape.
The PDR manuel is also something you should really consider.
The Seventh 'Comandment' of Mr. Blauer's 'Ten Commandments of Street Survival' is, "Thou Shalt Not Invite Diaster". It has several keys and clues that will really help guide you onto the next level of your martial journey.
I really think it's great that you want to help your friends who are being bullied, but the real question for all of us to ponder is in Mr. Blauer's response:
"We all have been picked on somewhere along the way, we all must learn from it and use it to understand what's wrong with oppression and move past it."
Thanks for the lesson Tony.
I second that Mike.....nice post.