A Unified Theory of Superman's Powers

Since Time immemorial, man has sought to explain the powers of Kal-El, a.k.a Superman. Siegel et al. supposed that His mighty strength stems from His origin on another planet whose density and as a result, gravity, was much higher than our own. Natural selection on the planet of Krypton would therefore endow Kal-El with more efficient muscles and higher bone density; explaining, to first order, Superman's extraordinary powers. Though concise, this theory has proved inaccurate. It is now clear that Superman is actually flying rather than just jumping really high; and His freeze-breath, x-ray vision, and heat vision also have no account in Seigel's theory.




In this paper we propose a new unified theory for the source of Superman's powers; that is to say, all of Superman's extraordinary powers are manifestations of one supernatural ability, rather than a host. It is our opnion that all of Superman's recognized powers can be unified if His power is the ability to manipulate, from atomic to kilometer length scales, the inertia of His own and any matter with which He is in contact.


 

Interesting...

Nerds not geeks wrote this imo. I agree interesting however lol

Can't he fly in space too?

My unified theory is superior. He is magic like David Blaine.

 Noooooo!!!   It's not magic!  Magic is his other big weakness!



I don't agree with any of that paper btw.  I'm sure upon peer review it will get skewered worse than cold fusion and homeopathy combined.  I mean, heat vision is superheated gas?  C'mon!  Then how does it work in space?  Hmmm?  Answer me that Mr. Smarty Pants!

That paper solves comic inconsistencies with physics (buildings falling apart, people not DYING when he flys away at the speed of sound, etc), it does NOT necessarily explains superman's powers.

Nerds over analyze.
Geeks actually get it.

 I thought the idea was that any Kryptonian becomes insanely powerful when exposed to the rays of a yellow sun?

Superman is supergay. He was originally just supposed to be a really strong pretty indestructible guy who could jump really far etc...and got his powers from our sun.

The reason krypotnite was his achilles was that it took away his powers and reduced him to a "normal" man.

Then it got bastardized into a guy who is totally indestructible, has unlimited strength, can fly, has freeze breath, lazer eyes, xray eyes, doens't need to breath, doesn't need to be near our sun for his power and kryptonite nearly kills him.

GAY GAY GAY.

He is the most boring hero eva.

canuck,

When Superman could only jump really far, he did NOT get his power from the yellow sun. Also, he started flying because animators had an easier time depicting flight than all that jumping.

Early on, kryptonite did more than just reduce him to a normal man. It made him a dizzy and weak man, so much that a stage magician thought he had actually put a hex on Superman (when really it was a k-rock used for decoration on the magician's hat).

Superman is not indestructible, nor does he have unlimited strength (Wonder Woman cut his neck open with her tiara, for example). He still needs the yellow sun for power. Kryptonite has become more potent, although that depends on the writer.

Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.

Diego stole my name - Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.


I've read that bullshit theory before, and I never did buy that.



If I were some super-secret Navy SEAL spy who had to do a deep cover mission in the Middle East or something, I wouldn't disguise myself as a mockery of that culture, I would wish to make myself as non-threatening as possible so people wouldn't know what a bad-ass I was (and thus impact my mission). No commentary on the other people at all...



If Superman were to have landed in some utopian land where nobody was weak or unsure or cowardly, he would still act in such a way that people would not see him as some god-like warrior, just to throw people off his trail. Clark Kent is a commentary on Superman, not us - he has to be as close to opposite to Superman so as to keep people in the dark.



Now why does he need to keep people in the dark? Why not just say who he is and dare motherfuckers to come after him? I mean, he's the baddest dude on the planet. Well, just like the humans he is supposed to be mocking according to that theory, he needs friends and others in his life - and by the old trope, if someone figures out his identity, he ain't super enough to prevent them all from being killed.



Aside from which, that's a horrifically negative and cynical viewpoint. Yeah, there are rotten people. So what? There are good people too. If he's going to judge the whole of humanity as being weak or unsure or cowardly because of the few who are that way, he's no different from the garden variety racist who rants against any given entire ethnic group when he sees evidence of one person or a few people from that group acting like shitheads.