About to watch "The Meg".

I think the good shark film/bad shark film line is "Deep Blue Sea". If it's better than DBS, then it's a good shark movie. If it's worse, then it's sharing space with Tara Reid.

Let's do it.

I'm 15 minutes in. The acting is fucking terrible. It's got the super-CGI that Chinese audiences love. Generic sympathetic cute Asian chick, super hot blonde, slutty "smart" Ruby Rose, and a bunch of chubby black and Chinese male nerds. They hit every check mark with the casting.

This movie is amazing.

Terrible fucking movie lol Ruby Rose is the only good thing about it.

jlondo - 

Terrible fucking movie lol Ruby Rose is the only good thing about it.


I'm watching Jason Statham ride an old Honda in Thailand. If Ruby Rose doesn't get into a bikini inside 15 minutes I'm going to slap my cellmate.

The fat Chinese nerd guy just committed suicide. Someone the blonde still isn't in a bikini.

Wait... The Megalodon just destroyed a few fishing vessels. They take a boat out to get close, and see it circling in the water. Chinese doctor in charge guy says they can kill it with a large dose of drugs shot at close range from a shark cage. They veto that, as the shark tends to attack boats. So fat nerd says, "Don't you homos watch Shark Week? Just tag it with GPS."

That's cool.

So they decide some idiot has to jump in and swim close to it, and it's revealed that the dart gun only has a 100-foot range, so you have to get SOOPER CLOSE to be accurate.

Wait, what? If that's the case, why is he swimming out with a GPS tracker? Just take the fucking drugs and kill the damn thing. I haven't even watched this scene, it's paused, but that's fucking retarded.

Its terrible, i had to talk my self out of leaving the theater the entire time because i wanted to see how it ends.  Wasnt worth it, turn it off now.  This movie blows.

They've got a chubby black guy in the LL Cool J role, constantly saying snarky one-liners.

Okay, now the sympathetic Chinese hot chick is going in the shark cage... but not in a bikini. What the fuck.

I had to pause for about 20 minutes after the helicopter started shooting the second, larger Megalodon. Now I'm back.

Jesus Christ, I'm watching a Chinese dog doggie-paddle away from a prehistoric shark. Tuesdays, man.

This fat fucking Chinese kid better get eaten. The goddamn dog died, if the kid lives I'm losing my shit.

I just watched Jason Statham ride a giant dinoshark.

LOL @ the black guy wearing the gigantic, oversized watch.

Jason Statham macking on new pussy (the hot Chinese chick) directly in front of old pussy (the hot blonde chick). This is fantastic.

It's over. That movie was deep-fried dogshit.

Defnitely below the "Deep Blue Sea" standard. I don't recommend, homies.

AnthonyWeiner - It's over. That movie was deep-fried dogshit.

Defnitely below the "Deep Blue Sea" standard. I don't recommend, homies.

It cant be worse than Deep Blue Sea 2, surely?

MankTabbott - 
AnthonyWeiner - It's over. That movie was deep-fried dogshit.

Defnitely below the "Deep Blue Sea" standard. I don't recommend, homies.

It cant be worse than Deep Blue Sea 2, surely?


No, not worse than a direct-to-DVD ghost sequel. But definitely worse than the original Deep Blue Sea. Sooo... it sucks.

REALLY bad movie. Straight to DVD/SyFy Channel quality but with slightly better effects.

I think they overestimated the "cool" factor of Statham, thinking he can make a piece of shit movie like this passable as a legit full-price theater movie.

PeteyWheatstraw - REALLY bad movie. Straight to DVD/SyFy Channel quality but with slightly better effects.

I think they overestimated the "cool" factor of Statham, thinking he can make a piece of shit movie like this passable as a legit full-price theater movie.

Chinese people eat this shit up. The movie cost $170 million to make, but grossed $527 million worldwide. It's probably going to get a sequel. If the two Australian broads don't get into bikinis and scissor, the producers ought to be shot.