Advice on caring for aging parents?

How have you guys handled this or plan to and how has it affected you? I’m not referring to emotionally (that’s a different conversation) I mean practically, logistically, financially and time-consuming wise. Especially if you don’t live that close to them. I will help best I can when a big change needs to be made, but I don’t plan on moving back home to care from them long term when the time arrives.

What are the typical means for taking care of parents as their health declines before it is obvious they need to be in a hospital with 24 hour care, if they don’t “go” before then?

Is it:

1st Retirement community/home – then:
2nd Assisted living – then:
3rd Something more than assisted living (don’t even know if this exists or what it’s called)

I don’t know the “appropriate steps” for dealing with this when the time comes. Thanks.

Extend arts and crafts time by four hours?






I'm sorry. I had to say that. Sounds like you've got the order down. Number 3 is called Hospice.

I moved closer to my parents a few years back when my dad had cancer so I could visit more. I didn't move "real" close, but close enough I could drive and be there within 4 hours or so. Before it was a plane flight or a 12 hour drive.

I would visit every other weekend, my dad passed a year later. I don't regret the move at all. But I didn't move back in with them or next door which I don't regret either.

My moms remarried now and doing pretty well. I'll see how she does as she ages.

move further away from them than your siblings imo, then you don't always have to be the first responder

NHBDaddy - move further away from them than your siblings imo, then you don't always have to be the first responder

This was my plan and my sibling does live a lot closer to them (about 5 hours away). The problem is my sibling can have a hard enough time keeping things together in their own life, plus I'm the oldest so I suppose I feel some additional responsibility.

hire someone to help them in their own home with increasing frequency and responsibilities (E.g. shovelling, shopping, cleaning, laundry visiting once a day...eventually to include some personal care)...sometimes the same person, sometimes not (e.g. property management vs personal care).

move them to assisted living when they need more care looking after themselves and/or need to have better emergency response

That's how it went for those that i knew that lived alone.

I'd also say you should discuss this with your parents before they're senile. Do they having a will, a health directive, have they appointed a guardian to make decisions for them yet?

ghost of KVR -


it's a tough thing to think about, we built a little 8x10 cabin on the side of our house so we could keep an eye on my father. He has his own private space, comes and goes as he pleases and just uses the kitchen and bathroom in our home. If it came down to long term care I don't know what we would do.



Winning, You and him. Enjoy these days. Phone Post 3.0

ghost of KVR -


it's a tough thing to think about, we built a little 8x10 cabin on the side of our house so we could keep an eye on my father. He has his own private space, comes and goes as he pleases and just uses the kitchen and bathroom in our home. If it came down to long term care I don't know what we would do.



And yes it is dusty over here Phone Post 3.0

He's got his own clubhouse? Dude, that's AWESOME.

Thingading - How have you guys handled this or plan to and how has it affected you? I’m not referring to emotionally (that’s a different conversation) I mean practically, logistically, financially and time-consuming wise. Especially if you don’t live that close to them. I will help best I can when a big change needs to be made, but I don’t plan on moving back home to care from them long term when the time arrives.

What are the typical means for taking care of parents as their health declines before it is obvious they need to be in a hospital with 24 hour care, if they don’t “go” before then?

Is it:

1st Retirement community/home – then:
2nd Assisted living – then:
3rd Something more than assisted living (don’t even know if this exists or what it’s called)

I don’t know the “appropriate steps” for dealing with this when the time comes. Thanks.


If they are sufficient at home right now, then a senior living faculty is a good choice. It's basicakky like a fancy dorm, own room (or sometimes shared apartments), common dining area which a lot of the old fucks looks forward too, activities throughout the day and trips planned to casinos and shopping centers, etc...



 



if if they require medical assistance, then assisted living is the option (includes bathing, medication management/administration, housecleaning, etc...)



 



there  is nothing after assisted living except a skilled nursing home or long term care nursing facility. 24hour medical supervision/care. Good for your people with severe dignities impairment (Alzheimer's, dementia, etc...), uncontrolled diabetes, uncontrolled CHF, uncontrolled COPD, severe deconditioning, injury/other medical impairment requiring frequent medical assessment/intervention

My father has cancer that left him unable to walk for a couple months this past October. He went to a rehab facilty for the 1st 2 months which medicare paid for. (the first 100 days)

After 60 days, They thought he would never walk again, so they wanted to transfer him upstairs with the Alzheimer's peeps. That was going to cost 8 thousand a month. They wanted to exhaust his saving until medicaid kicked in.

He wouldn't give them a firm answer about staying so they kicked him out 1 week before Christmas.

 

He went to live with his sister (my place has the shower upstairs). Now medicare pays for Hospice to come by 2 times a week and they gave him a hospital bed for the room.

that will be the situation until he dies

 

 

For me, I have a building in my backyard thats about 500 sq ft. My dad knows he can live with me anytime he wants.

Dude raised me to be a good man, so.. I owe the fucker big time. I'd do whatever it takes to make sure he got what he needed.

He never wants to go into a home.. hell, my grandfather who is 95 just threw punches when my cousin/aunt picked him up to put him in a home. He built his own home, lived there w/my grandma.. Grandma, @ 92 wanted to put him in a home so she didnt' have to do the chores and take care of him anymore.

Fuckin' cold, if you ask me. :/