An Atheist in the woods

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the accident of evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, just in time to see a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw the bear closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him raising his paw to kill him.

At that instant, he cried out, "Oh my God!"

Just then, time stopped... The bear froze; the forest was silent; even the river stopped moving. A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky, saying, "You deny My existence all of these years; teach others I don't exist; even credit My creation to a cosmic accident, and now do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and said, "It would be rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

As the light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest continued, and the bear put his paw down. The man breathed a sigh of relief. Then the bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and said: "Lord, I thank you for this food, which I am about to receive."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....lulz

so you guys also believe in talking bears? seems about right

Ted the OGer - so you guys also believe in talking bears? seems about right
Was hoping for good company not an igmo Phone Post 3.0

Ted the OGer - so you guys also believe in talking bears? seems about right


boom goes the dynamite.

Fantasy seems to be your strong point.

Ted the OGer - so you guys also believe in talking bears? seems about right


aaaaahahahahahahaha

Lol. Good joke, but the wrong place to post it. The atheists of the og are ravenous Christian haters. Phone Post 3.0

LOL Phone Post

I liked it the first time I read it, thumbing through Readers Digest at the dentist's office.

That is such a terrible story that I am not even sure who it is supposed to offend. Phone Post

I'm an atheist and do what I can to protect real Christianity. Phone Post 3.0

thread fail

evolution is an accident? lmao

i do find it amusing that some people need a skydaddy

Aliens granted the bear talking powers Phone Post

Willy the Coyote - Since when is evolution an "accident"? Phone Post

Not evolution, the big bang. Try to keep up. Phone Post

Evolution is not an accident.   A talking bear would be an accident.  

A christian saying something intelligent would be an accident.  

roperninja -


An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the accident of evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.



As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, just in time to see a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw the bear closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.



His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him raising his paw to kill him.



At that instant, he cried out, "Oh my God!"



Just then, time stopped... The bear froze; the forest was silent; even the river stopped moving. A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky, saying, "You deny My existence all of these years; teach others I don't exist; even credit My creation to a cosmic accident, and now do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"



The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and said, "It would be rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But could you make the bear a Christian?"



"Very well," said the voice.



As the light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest continued, and the bear put his paw down. The man breathed a sigh of relief. Then the bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and said: "Lord, I thank you for this food, which I am about to receive."



 



 



 



 



 



 



 



....lulz

Source?
Tl/dr?
If true, this has to be in Russia?
Oh man, I love how the mainstream media refuses to cover this stuff?
...sheeple?
FALSE FLAG!!!! ...?
Those who know, know?


Am I doing it right? Phone Post 3.0

Yes, the omnipotent and benevolent god, who only does good.

Seems to support a whole pack of pedophiles, though. Go figure. Phone Post

"Not evolution, the big bang. Try to keep up."

An accident is spilling your milk. The big bang is a massive event.

Why didn't he just pull out a gun that God created and science had nothing to do with and shoot the fucking bear.. Phone Post 3.0