Anyone gone through a miscarriage?

Will try to keep this short: late last year I reconnected with an old girlfriend from HS- for reference, we're in our early 30s. She'd just gotten a divorce and moved back to town... we picked up right where we left off at 16. She got pregnant pretty quickly, and eventually I got over the crippling fear of not being stable/successful enough to raise a child and we got very excited. Picking out names, debating whether or not we should get married, etc was a lot of fun.

She lost the kid at about 10 weeks. She took it really well and wants to try again but me? I just can't do it. After seeing that monstrosity come out of her...I really can't even get interested in fucking her. She's been getting really pushy about it (last night for the Mizzou/KY basketball game, she spent all of it in a pair of tiger stripe panties and a smile) but.. I just am not feeling it.

I realize I'm being a pussy here and true OGers would slay that pussy, but has anyone actually gone through this and do you have any advice?

Oh, and because of the rules: https://imgur.com/a/MLyIr

Yeah, that's the common rule now. The only people that knew were family and our very close friends.

you shouldnt tell ANYBODY until 3+ months

Miscarriages are very common. My wife and I had one, but earlier than yours. If your woman starts talking to other women about it you will realize almost all of them have had one. 

 

A miscarriage is often the bodies way of ending what would otherwise be a flawed pregnancy. 

 

 

Yes. Been through a few with my ex wife. She just couldn’t carry and it destroyed her mentally and was the main reason for the divorce. Was tough to deal with and really changed her as a person. Hope you have better luck than I did op. 

Sorry bud.

 

Yeah the first Trimester should pass before telling most people but it’s an exciting time and hard to do. 

 

The other part? That’s on you and what you can handle. That feeling will probably pass but you’re the only one that knows what that’s like for you.

 

Wish you the best

Miscarriage is probably more common than a successful pregnancy. Some happen so quick that the pregnancy isn't even known about. Very common to miscarry.

My wife(no pics) had 5, I had to deliver the last one.... that was a hoot. Since we already had a kid I said I was done and she concurred.

my wife and I have had 3 miscarriages, she's also 4 months pregnant now with our 3rd child.....I'm still nervous though

Twice and I have 3 healthy kids now all with the same girl

Yeah within 3 months it’s pretty common, but still very tough.  Took me 3 years to get over it.

After only dating for a couple months I knocked up my then gf.. I decided to do the honorable thing and asked her to marry me. By the time the wedding was planned she miscarried. She gave me the option of cancelling the wedding because she knew that we had rushed into it.. May will make 4 yrs we’ve been married and we’ve had a daughter and a son since then and she adopted my son that I had from a previous relationship. 

Thanks guys. It's not the easiest thing in the world to talk about-- especially as she and I haven't been able to, but it's good to hear some positive stories.

I may be off here but it kinda seems like you’re a little afraid that you may have rushed in to a very serious relationship with her because she was pregnant.

Maybe you don’t want to sex her up because you don’t want a kid? 

But yeah, my wife had a miscarriage at about two months. We already had kids and so about a week and a half later when she was ready we started trying again. She got pregnant right away and delivered a beautiful girl.

They are unbelievably uncommon.  Go through the families you know and see how many have weird gaps between kids.  Like kids born in say, 2000, 2002, 2006, 2008 - they probably had a miscarriage. We unexpectedly lost our son hours after he was born (not really the same, but similar).  Once people heard about it, the miscarriage and stories similar to ours came out of the woodwork.

After we lost ours, a doctor said to me, with as many things that can go wrong, it never ceases to amaze me that they ever go right.

Listening to dr drew and he said women have a chemical reaction in there body when they have a miscarriage that makes them an emotional mess. Same thing happens when they have a baby so the motherly instincts kick in. Only there is nothing to mother and that just fucks up the mom.

cruedi -

Yeah within 3 months it’s pretty common, but still very tough.  Took me 3 years to get over it.

fuck me... found this thread looking for some comfort on a shitty day and find this nugget. not that comforting...

trobinson21 - 
Wylong06 -
cruedi -

Yeah within 3 months it’s pretty common, but still very tough.  Took me 3 years to get over it.

fuck me... found this thread looking for some comfort on a shitty day and find this nugget. not that comforting...

Comfort your lady, listen to every word she says and never say "I" or "me" when she is around.

As bad as you feel she feels worse, she will go from the sadness of the loss to the insecurity that her body is not as good as other women, just all over the place.

At this time she needs you to buckle it up, be there and cherish the memory of what was meant to be. Life is long and you will move past it, just don't make her feel at fault ever because its one of the worst things she could go through.

You guys can try again in a few months, its common brother and may be a blessing meant to be.


Wow. This might be your best post ever. Congrats brotha.

My first serious GF was a beautiful half-jamaican half-korean broad. At 18 she was pregnant and we decided to keep it. My buddies told me get her to get aborted, you gonna fuck up your ball career, blah blah. I didn't care. I was in love and I felt ready. She miscarried at around 3 months. I still feel very sad about it. Think about what could have been, and still remember the names we chose... Would have been in a different place for sure.

OP: Listen to Trob. He's right. Be the rock your woman deserves. As others have said, its harder for the woman. Support her with all your might.

So sorry OP.. :(

Rick50 - 

Yes. Been through a few with my ex wife. She just couldn’t carry and it destroyed her mentally and was the main reason for the divorce. Was tough to deal with and really changed her as a person. Hope you have better luck than I did op. 


I feel for you man. A few months after ours, my ex told me she was now too spiritual for our marriage and left for good. I thought we were going to start trying to get her pregnant again. It's hard for everyone involved but women often carry a lot of guilt and shame about it.

Wasn't till the dust settled that I heard how common it was for a miscarriage to end a marriage.

Sending you strength OP. You too Rick.