I feel the same OP. Have you had any meaningful relationships?
I had a girlfriend that gave my life a lot of meaning and happiness and I was a pretty poor boyfriend and threw it all away.
Obviously one needs purpose independently of others but in the end we’re social animals and some way or another everything we do ultimately finds its meaning in relation to other people.
Life is a drag for me these days, and I’ve got it pretty good. I just don’t get joy from it. I’ve met other girls but they do nothing for me. If you offered me a million dollars, I’d take it but I don’t think it would even make me smile.
Anyway man, as hard as it is, we can only keep our chin up and keep grinding it out. I know I have some lessons to learn and misery is a great teacher.
All the best