Attn:DEANE LAWLER

WHERE I COME FROM DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CALL A GUY WHO WALKS INTO A BAR WITH A SHEEP UNDER HIS ARM!

A PIMP! HAHAHAHAHAHA!


WHEN THERE IS A WEDDING WE ALL SIT ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE CHURCH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

AIN'T NOTHING GOING TO GET ME BACK INTO THAT CAGE NOW!


I'VE GOT CHICKEN SHIT FEVER!

TOM

'threaten to put the wheels back on his house'

Classic.

T

Here are some lyrics for the enjoyment of all you rednecks (or should I say us rednecks?-I am at least half redneck myself because of the podunk towns I grew up in) on the forum here:

And I said ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
Take your boots and walk out of my life
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

I told her redneckedness has got to be a disease
You catch it on your fingers and it just crawls right up your sleeves
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

From "Give Back My Heart" by Lyle Lovett

I believe that the only way to entice Tom back into his cage now is with a bottle of homemade 'shine'. If that doesn't work, perhaps a good ole fashioned family re-union with lots of cuz's, banjo music and the likes. If that is still not enough, we can always threaten to put the wheels back on his house.

Yee-haah!

Sean

NO PROB BRO!

MY BAD!

PEACE, TOM

Kev, youre not a Redneck too are you???

Tom has gnawed through his leash and gotten to the CAPS LOCK button, I cant trick him into his cage, even with food ad a bowl of Guinness, he's loose and amok.

Lawler, well, he's a legend, I have stories about him that are too scary to tell at Serial Killer conferences...

But enough about them, lets talk about me, this is my damn forum...

Jeesh, you guys....screw it, I'm going out to practice my summersaults, smoke a Cubano 'stogie', and then take some pictures of me copying Bruce Lee shots on a bicycle and kicking a heavy bag while a partner stands with his back to it.

OUT!

T

OH NO!!!

As for the request for more dramas...

Er, um....since I'm so friggin popular, perhaps we can have Kirik start a sub-forum that these 'guys' can post on and you and TOm can moderate.

HOws that sound?

And we'll need a title fo rthe new forum. Umm...how's this:

BERATE BLAUER

Forum Rules:'B-Rate' posters only please

Of course I like Kirik's:

"Jealous Dragon, Crouching Whiner" or something like that....

:-)

And if we can get SCRAPPER to start typing all CAPS then were are in trouble!!

Have a good day.

T

Yep, IT'S TRUE, Tony! Reckon' ya' all had to find out some time!

Speakin' of REDNECKS reminds me of a philosophical country song (well, of course there's such a thing). That's about a man who's having these woman problems. (I know I thought that was an unusual theme as well,...guess it's some of that "a-vant gardey" country music. Anyway the song has this here line in it: " I've got a can of gas and I'm a dangerous man, I'M GONNA BURN DOWN THE TRAILER PARK!!!"

WHEW got carried away ther for a second. Well, just suppose you substitued "internet connection" for the "can of gas", hmmmmmm?

Anyway just got back from my run and workout so no somerassaulting behavior for me today -- maybe tomorrow!?!?

Oh those cubanoes, sound good Tony, all I've got, however, is a couple MADURO MADURO Dominican republic Punch's , but I think they'll work just fine for this ole' country boy!!

Take Care Alll!!

SHALOM &
Hokahey!!

Kevin

Hey , Thought you all might enjoy a 'lil fuel for the fire ...Great link of REDNECK jokes.Enjoy , Var

DEANE, THE ONLY CURE THAT I KNOW OF IS YOU HAVE TO FIND THE CHICKEN SHITS! (HARDEST PART!)

THEN GRAB THEM AROUND THE NECK AND SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THEM!HAHAHAHA!

PEACE, TOM

A glimpse at what things might look like ... if the wheels went back on .. *L*Cheers , *hic* ... Var

NOW DEANE, I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT KILLING CHICKENS!

YOU SEE CHICKENS HAVE A VERY WEAK NECK AND NOT MUCH BACK BONE!

SO YOU GRAB THEM BY THE HEAD LIKE A BASEBALL BAT! SNAP THEM IN A CIRCLE AND THEIR HEAD COMES OFF IN YOUR HAND!

NOW IF THESE CHICKENS HAD A NECK AND SOME BACK BONE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN! BUT THEIR LACK OF BOTH MAKES IT QUITE EASY! HAHAHAHA!

PEACE, TOM THE CHICKEN HUNTER!

TTT FOR CRAZY OLD ME!

WHERE DID ALL YOU TOUGH NUTS GO!

YOU COME INTO TONY'S HOUSE AND TALK A LOT OF SHIT!

I'M RIGHT HERE IF YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!

OR DO YOU JUST WANT TO HIDE!

NO RESPECT, TOM

I THOUGHT I HAD A TIPUP! AND IT WAS JUST YOU BRO'S WANTING TO HEAR A GOOD OLD REDNECK TAIL!

OK HERE GOES!

WHEN I WAS YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF ***! WE USED TO PLAY THIS GAME! WE WOULD GO OUT IN A PICK UP TRUCK AND SEE WHO COULD JUMP OUT AT THE FASTEST SPEED! LOW MAN BOUGHT THE BEER! THEN GOT THROWN OUT AT A MUCH FASTER SPEED THAN HE CHICKENED OUT AT! IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DIVE AND ROLL YOU WERE FUC%ED! I REMEMBER THIS ONE WANT TO BE TOUGH! THAT THOUGH HE WAS THE UNIT! HE HAD NO IDEA HOW TO DIVE AND ROLL! HE SKIDDED ACROSS THE ROAD LIKE A ROCK ON WATER LANDED IN A PILE ON THE SIDE! NO SKIN LEFT ON HIS FACE! HE BOUGHT! GOT THROWN OUT AGAIN! THEN WENT ON TO BE A SELF DEFENSE TEACHER THAT SAY'S THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO DIVE AND ROLL!...HAHAHAHA! TOM!

you're scaring me?!?!?!?!?

:)

Sean

But seriously, i think that we need to generate some activity, how about the pick up story one more time!

Yeah, the pick up story,....

but don't forget the SHEEP,....



what's a pick up story with out the SHEEP!




,...........



,...........


a BAAAAAAAd story, roight?!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE KING OF CAPS LOCK!

THE MAN THAT MADE ME SEE THE LIGHT!

THE MASTER OF DISASTER!

DEEEAAAANEE! LAAAWWWLLLEEER!

OK CHICKEN SHITS WHERE ARE YOU!

STILL IN THE BATHROOM!HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

TOM

Tom,

My reference to lyin' was ONLY a slight humorous reference to the time tested REDNECK sport of chillin' on a river bank, drinkin' beer , and professing one's manhood in increasingly verbose and exagerrated vernacular, all the while atteptin' to catch fish,.. A gentlemanly sport if their ever was one.

Oh yeah the fishin' part is optional!!

Sorry for the confusion - I thoroughly concurr that the "L" word best be brandished with care. (I should of included a ;) - to distinguish my sorry attempt at humor.

Are we straight?

Kevin

HORATIUS, WAS YOUR REFERENCE ABOUT LYING, TO THE CATCH OF THE DAY!

OR MY POST ABOUT A LOT OF CHICKEN SHITS ON THE FORUM GIVING TONY GRIEF!

YOU SAID YOU WERE A REDNECK! SO YOU MUST KNOW HOW SENSITIVE I AM ABOUT THE LIE WORD!

PEACE? TOM