I gotta go to one today and I want everyone there to know dont invite me to these again.
Whats the best way to be blacklisted from these without getting arrested?
12 Likes
Dance with the flower girls
11 Likes
Let me tag along. I’m a professional at fucking shit up. Improv it’s all about hitting your hardest at a moments notice. Become one with the environment and fuck it up
10 Likes
Great thread idea!
Let’s start by putting your tie around your head like a headband… It’s a classic move. But, you should do it before the end of the night. I say you do it before the ceremony, like in the church.
5 Likes
A drunken rambling unexpected toast to the bride and groom does the trick
18 Likes
“Object” during the ceremony.
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I hate the actual wedding but I enjoy a good reception. If you have the right two families it’s a good time.
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Spike the punch with fentynl laced meth.
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Start talking politics with everyone there, but make sure you’re really strident in all of your opinions.
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Wear a white dress
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Back in college, my friend and I were know semi-professionally as “the drunk guys from Iowa”
that usually does it
6 Likes
Wear a maga hat
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Accept the Invite and no Show
Score
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Give the best man speech i gave in 1993.
“Mike will always be my brother, right or wrong, and like always im standing here today in preparation of carnage tomorrow.”
It was a whiskey tango wedding at a Moose Lodge witha visibly pregnant bride, i figured more people would appreciate what i was saying, lol.
It was not a popular speech.
In my defense, i honestly didn’t know that the best man speech was a thing. I was hammered and somebody put a microphone in my hand. All MY friends were laughing at least.
10 Likes
Start eating copious amounts of taco bell, wash down with black coffee
Ask everyone there to pull your finger
Shit pants repeatedly
Win
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White KFC style suit is mandatory for this one.
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Tell everyone you’re a pedo
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When in mid 20s or so i told a bride’s super hot aunt that “i bet you taste like a freshly cut peach”. Both hammered, my gf at the time was not impressed.
Foolishly left out any reference to her lady bits and she gave a look like i was going to jeff dahmer her. Somehow made it back home with the gf. We’re no longer together.
12 Likes
Open all the gifts
6 Likes