Bicycle + Bag + Beach = Buff?

If you had a 5 mile bike trail to a sandy beach, a bike and canvas to make bags with, how would you work out?

Especially If you don't know anything about lifting and form and other stuff like that that seems to be important?

I would like to:

Lose weight.
Improve core strength for better posture (work involves sitting at computer for extended hours).
Increase over all work capacity.
Be able to lift and carry heavy stuff over my head.
Increase flexibility (my hips and hamstrings have gotten pathetically tight from all this sitting in chairs)

with secondary goals of:
kicking sand in the face of pipsqueeks
banging hot chicks behind behind the wake breaker.


Also if anyone could link to gifs/videos of the exercises they recommend I would be more than happy embed them in the thread. (i.e. I have no idea what a standing row is.)

Any trees or swing sets? If you run 5 miles and stop for 5 pullups and 5 burpees once every mile, then that's a pretty good roadwork-session to begin with.

I think I can run like... two blocks right now.

There ARE a bunch of playgrounds along trail on the way, however.

Find 5 places along the way where you stay and rip off five burpees and five pullups. Jog lightly as far as you can and get the excercises in. Don't stand still and rest, just do the reps and move right on. Walk if you can't run all the way.

Work up until you can jog the whole way, then add one short sprint per "station". Now your short joging trip has turned into 5 rounds of 1.light jog 2.5 Burpees 3. 5 Pullups 4.All out sprint.

That's a decent amount of various work in little time and with little equipment.

Just follow the trail to begin with. If you can't run it, then try an old scout trick, and jog for 50 steps - then walk for 50 steps. It doesn't sound like much, but it's a nice easy way to build a base for running.

As for the canvas bag, fill it with sand (i'm assuming you know how to make a sandbag?) til it's reasonably heavy, but not extremely so, say about 50lbs. Personally, if i was just looking to get into a good general shape from lowly beginnings, i'd stick to 2 exercises.

1 Hoist the bag up above your head, and start walking. When you begin to feel unstable or shaky, then drop it down and take a short rest.

2 Lift the bag up and hug it your chest - eperiment with arm positions to find whichever one you prefer - and again, go for a walk until you feel shaky or tired.

If you feel like you still have more in you after these 2 exercises, then simply repeat again until you've had enough. These exercises should give you a general workout that hits most of your muscles.