I got an email this week from a friend wondering if I'd dropped off the planet or something because he hasn't seen me on here (or anywhere else) that much recently.

Despite all the praying, voodoo dolls with my name on them, chicken sacrifices, and wishful thinking by the people who suffer from my workouts, I'm still here. ;)

Not to hang all my personal shit out for everyone to see, but the last few months have been really hard. Holly and I split up a couple months ago and I feel so guilty about the way things turned out that I'm thinking of becoming a Catholic just to heap more misery on my shoulders.

As if coming home to the house she and I shared wasn't painful enough, my 15 year old son moved out here last week from North Carolina. I haven't seen him since he was 6 and after 9 years of a "liberal" upbringing, his mother decided that she couldn't handle him and sent him out to me. At 14, I wrestled at 105 pounds soaking wet. Taylor is 6 feet tall and weighs 200 pounds. Add his size on top of typical misguided teenage anger and I've got my hands quite full.

Actually, since he's been out here people have been telling him that HE'S got his hands full with me. It's only been a week but he's already seeing that I expect more from him than anyone else ever has and, like the people who come to my class find out, if he steps up to the plate he'll achieve more than he ever thought possible. I brought him out to my beach class yesterday and made him participate. To keep him from thinking I was singling him out, I let some of the veterans stay close by and show him proper form and give him words of encouragement.

I waited for the magic phrase: "I think I'm gonna throw up" before I put my hand on his shoulder and walked him over to get a drink of water. Later, I told him that taking one step past the boundaries you think are absolute is like nothing else you can experience in life. Like the Greenday song "She" says: All her doubts were someone else's point of view. If he learns to believe in himself half as much as I do, there's nothing he can't do.

Anyway...I apologize for not being on here more often lately but things are starting to settle down and I'm getting used to being without Holly and having Taylor in the house. With him here I HAVE to focus on getting these projects done so I can spend more time with him instead of being at the gym from 4am till 8pm every day.

As usual, this forum has been supportive and that's more than I can ever hope to repay.

Keep training hard,


Man, I had no idea about all this bro. Keep strong--hell I know I don't need to tell you that.

If you ever need to talk shoot me an email (bchakraborty@netzero.net) and we'll hop on AIM or something.

Good luck!

A father needs his son as much as he needs you.

-from one dad to another.

Good luck Fish; sounds like you have your hands full but I'm sure you will be ok with it all.

Wow Fish, good luck with the kid, I'm sure you'll do a great job.

Holy shit...

This is a good thing for you. It will calm your sadistic ass down ;)


family and loved ones over everything and BIC is right.

SCRAPPER: sorry to hear about the break up, but I think it's great that your son is with you now.
Life has a way of keeping us all on our toes, eh?
Take care of yourself and know that you have a lot of good people on this forum who wish you all the best!

good luck man.

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup Scrapper.

Good luck with your boy. I'm sure that you will make a huge impact on his life.

Take care


very sorry to hear about your breakup. Best of luck to you.

How the fuck are you old enough to have a 15 year old kid? and how could he not be loving the fact that he's in Hawaii?

I wish you were my dad. haha

How the fuck are you old enough to have a 15 year old kid? and how could he not be loving the fact that he's in Hawaii? I wish you were my dad. hahaAhhh, I started out young. I'm only 32. ;)He's definitely liking it out here but I already told him that it's not a vacation for him. He came out to my class on Saturday and yesterday I introduced him to the 50 pound sandbag shouldering exercise. He's going to be walking funny for a few days. hahahaTrain hard, SCRAP

Good luck. I have all the hope in the world that things are going to turn out great for you and your son.

good luck.

Good luck Scrap. Not that you'll need it.

Luck= Preparation meets opportunity.

Opportunity is now. And you have more preparation
then anyone else I've ever seen!


Scrapper, it will get worse and it will get better too, but eventually it will get really good as he grows up and discovers "the old man wasn't so dumb after all." My condolences re Holly, hoping for a reconciliation if possible, and - having been there too many times not to have learned (I'm not nearly so loveable as you), if it isn't possible you'll have to take on faith that it will hurt less someday and that there's a very lucky woman out there who will benefit from your experiences of the past when she becomes your present.

just curious, are you still practicing the zazen?

scrapper, just curious, are you still practicing the zazen?When I can. Thankfully, the nuerotic compulsion to attain Enlightenment fell away. ;)SCRAP


I'm sorry to hear about your breakup, and I also wish you the
best in being with your son.

(perhaps this means that you'll have less time to train and I
won't have to worry about beating you out of the top five to
qualify for the Vegas OCS.........as if that would'a happened