Cardio Help

Ok, Im clueless when it comes to cardio.

I never really did cardio in my life. In highschool and college, I played handball at least 20 hours a week, during the summer, more like 40 hours a week, so that kept me in great cardio shape. Plus it kept me ripped up.

Of course once I started working, I was not able to do this. I play an average of 1 hour a month now.

That, plus old age, has made me gain weight and padding around the middle.

I've been trying to do cardio this week, and have not been successful, HELP!

Day 1 - Got on treadmill, started it on manual...walked for 30 seconds, seemed too easy and boring, changed it to level 5.5, was jogging, after a minute, my legs were burning, and I was breathing hard, so I stopped.

Day 2 - Got on elliptical, started at level 5, but my legs were spinning lighting fast, but my legs still gave out after about 3 minutes. and my chest was about to burst.

Can someone give me a program (I know about Taku's), but Dumb it down for me :(

"Treadmill, do level 3 for 5 min, then level 5 for..."

Any other advice...since I cant seem to last more than 2 minutes...damn this sounds like my sex life...