I live in Phuket Thailand ( –Pronounced Poo-..Ket for those of you thinking it was a craigslist ad), while a vacationers paradise...it is an island in the middle of the rain forest, full of jungle snakes, coconut cracking monkeys, and dic- tucking men that go by the name "Katoey"..
We drive around on lil' scooters, that have the same engine power my grandfather's shopping cart operates with, While cruising the island I'm usually wearing flip-flops, shorts and a cotton shirt, usually the latest Six Deuce shirts My house is conveniently located at the end of the street from one of the 7 million elevens selling junk food in Thailand.
Here is the problem...
On the way to that giant heaven of a junk food there is a 30lb dog whose Thai owner refuses to chain up. The dog isn't well taken care of and either suffers from Rabies, AIDS, or some other blood born disease. It constantly tries to attack me as I cruise past on my supped up Granny Shopping Cart. Last night while returning back from the sanctuary better known as 7 eleven, with a handful of gummies and an Ice cold Coke flavored Slushy, the dog stormed out of the dark trying to bite my leg. Kicking him in the mouth, I quickly pumped the gas and flew down the street...losing my Coke flavored Slushy, and flip flop shoe in the process.
**Now tonight...I'm in need of another trip to 7eleven...but am wondering if I'm going to have to kill the dog along the way.
So here is the question. What MMA strategy would you use to win a street fight against a dog?
Obviously protecting your eyes, preventing your skin from being torn to shreds are all concerns.
What would your strategy be against the dog, If you were attacked with no weapons around while wearing shorts/flip flops/ and a six deuce shirt, how would you defend yourself?
BJJ. choke the fucker out.
Newton on Miletich style bulldog choke, but with racist thai mutts I try to just pick up a stick or yell and kick at them.
Am I just suppose to pull guard on this beast?
I've kinda figured, if he bites my arm...instead of pulling it out..I'm just gonna push it deeper.
...How long do you have to seek medical attention for Rabies?
you use weapons on dangerous animals you dont "fight"w/them.
I'd break the dogs arm
Drop an ex-lax(or any other chocolate flavored laxitiv) chocolate bar on the road for it to pick up. The very least that will happen is it will blow shit all over it's owners house and yard.
cdueck - Drop an ex-lax(or any other chocolate flavored laxitiv) chocolate bar on the road for it to pick up. The very least that will happen is it will blow shit all over it's owners house and yard.
This is the best idea so far. Exlax valium stuffed Snickers bar...
Dog is a tricky opponent for an unarmed human. No matter what you do, the dog is going to sink it's teeth into you.
Ray Elbe - The dog isn't well taken care of and either suffers from Rabies, AIDS, or some other blood born disease.You might just as well fight Aleks Emelianenko.
Be the bigger man and walk away.
Rape Choke IMO
yes on pushing the arm deeper if bit.
might i suggest pepper spray? or fire crackers? just make it afraid to come near you. that is basically what it is trying to do to you.
if you need to disable it, grab a leg & swing it around hammertoss style til it dislocates.
or put some real shoes on and kick it as hard as you can. it will leave you alone.
disclaimer.... i am a dog lover. but i also have to deal with crazyassed dogs from time to time in my line of work.
I usually use an anaconda choke on my dog (125 pound bermese mountain dog/newfoundland mix) its the only way to get him to completely stop and with a simple flex im sure it would put him out. the problem is being smart enough to wait and set it up without getting bit if the dog has a disease of some sort... anyways
MountainMedic - yes on pushing the arm deeper if bit.
might i suggest pepper spray? or fire crackers? just make it afraid to come near you. that is basically what it is trying to do to you.
if you need to disable it, grab a leg & swing it around hammertoss style til it dislocates.
or put some real shoes on and kick it as hard as you can. it will leave you alone.
disclaimer.... i am a dog lover. but i also have to deal with crazyassed dogs from time to time in my line of work.
MountainMedic,
Do agree or disagree with the common advice to wrap a jacket around your arm and let a dog bite your forearm as a defense move?
Have you swung a dog around before as you described above? Sounds crazy.
firecrackers are a good idea, so is a fuckin baseball bat stop ur lil scooter 30 feet away from where it comes after you call its ass out n do work son
also, i use the anaconda on my dog too lol works like a charm
i think if you have time to wrap a jacket around your arm, you have time to come up with a better plan than that, lol.
yes, i had to do the spinny thing once, but i just didn't have the heart to keep it up til that happened. launched it into a garage door instead. as hard as i could. it ran off, hid under a car, and never took its eyes off of me.
i am a fan of just scaring the shit out of the animal. sure its different over there, but if it ends up actually hurting you the odds of that dog being alive in 21 days are pretty slim. dogs just do what they think hey are supposed to be doing.... i think that even a really aggressive dog isn't necessarilly to blame or a bad dog. maybe he is just an asshole? maybe he is afraid of everything and tries to act tough to keep the world at bay?
pepper spray works, but not nearly as well as you'd think, takes a bit to take effect, and will likely end up on you as well.
just drop fire crackers as you ride by, of lay down a fog of OC. DO NOT get off of that scooter!
or you could feed it a few times...... works too if its a dog you are gonna have to see all the time. most of the stuff i know comes from LE traininng and experiance (rangers deal with alot of dogs). remember that when you attack a mans dog, you have also attacked him, and his friends. is that really a road you want to go down?
final suggestion-by a faster scooter with cupholders. problem solved.
MountainMedic -Lol at this visual.
yes, i had to do the spinny thing once, but i just didn't have the heart to keep it up til that happened. launched it into a garage door instead. as hard as i could.
MountainMedic -i think if you have time to wrap a jacket around your arm, you have time to come up with a better plan than that, lol.
LOL good point. This also is bad advice for a day when someone wouldn't have a jacket
Any other tips?
Dog defense has always been something I have wondered about because I have a dog phobia.
I don't want to hurt a dog and wouldn't unless I had no choice, but I think having some idea of what I could do might help with the phobia.
I hate dogs and I would smash that things head w/a sledgehammer if it tried to bite me.