Crappy things my brother did to me growing up.

One time my brother and I were playing around and he hit me in the shoulder. So I hit him back. I could tell by the expression on his face that I had hit him too hard and immediately ran for it. My parents were not home at the time so I bolted for the bathroom and locked the door. I figured hanging out in the bathroom for an hour or two was better than what I had coming if my brother got a hold of me.

The lock on the bathroom was pretty crappy. If you wiggled the door handle back and forth you could get the door to unlock. So I had to keep my hand on the lock to keep it from moving. After a couple minutes of my brother wiggling the handle he gave up trying to get to me.

I thought.

Shortly after that I started to hear a hissing sound. I looked down and some sort of misty spray was coming from under the door. I said "What the hell is that?" and my brother responded "Its bug killer motherfucker!"

Yup, my brother was trying to gas me out.

The bathroom did not have any windows so the only thing I could think to do was grab a towel and try to block the bottom of the door. But the door sat pretty high on the frame so when I tryed shoving the towel under it my brother grabbed the edge coming out on the other side and started yanking it though. After a minute of two of tug of war my brother let go of the towel, grabbed the door handle and wiggled it unlocking the door. And then he came in and proceeded to kick my ass.

 

I will post some more stories about my brother doing crappy things to me during the slow times here at work.

My brother used to have his friends help him torment me.

 

One time my brothers friend Steve was over the house. It was a nice summer day and I was using my mickey mouse sleeping bag as a blanket to sit on in the back yard. In the backyard we had a couple of those metal T things that you would string a line between to hang clothes to dry. My brother and his friend came up and started talking to me. They said "Jay, that sleeping bag is way too small for you" I said "no, its just fine"  "Its too small Jay, you can not even fit in it"  "sure I can"  "well you cant cover up all the way" so i zipped up the bag and got in to prove them wrong. They said "well yeah but you couldnt get your head in if it was really cold" So i pulled the bag up over my head... and they grabbed the top of the bag and used a piece of rope they had behind their back to tie it closed. Then they threw the rope over the T piece of the clothes hanger and hauled me up off the ground... and left.

I was there for about a half hour before the bottom of the bag ripped out and I fell to the ground.

I feel like this culminates towards him turning out to be a homosexual or he's the one who showed you the OG but your brother sounds awesome. Phone Post 3.0

I threw an air Jordan (all leather, size 14, high top) at my brother when he was sleeping. I like this brother, just trying to fuck around. Thing spun through air in crazy arc, handed just under the tip of his nose, moving upwards. Broke the shit out of his schnozz. He should have killed me, but he didnt. He knew by my face that it was a mistake. Not sure if I would have had same control. Phone Post 3.0

My brother used to invite me to hang out with his friends and then ditch me for fun.

It normally went like this.

We would be walking around the neighborhood. My brother would announce that we were going to go to someones house and take the trails to get there. The woods near our house had lots of trails that ran from our subdivision to several others. 

The group would be walking along and when my brother gave some signal that I was not aware of they would gradually start slowing down, letting me get to the front of the group. Then when the timing was right they would, one by one, start leaving the trail and cutting though the woods, until at some point I was walking down the trail by myself. And of course since they lied when they said where we were going I was not able to find them later.

I am the big brother. I did typical shit but I wasn't too bad. One thing comes to mind though

We were playing catch with the football. He was maybe 20 yards away bent down tying his shoe. I hurled the ball at him never thinking I would hit him. Right in the side of the head. I felt so bad and kinda still do.

Sorry brother Phone Post 3.0

My brother was a lot better looking than I was. The girls I dreamed would call me once in my life would instead call him daily.
I used to enjoy putting him in a figure-four while he was on the phone & wouldn't let him out until he told the girl on the other end that his favorite thing to do in the world was suck dicks. I was just a fun little game we played.

-FC- - Whats his screen name? Phone Post 3.0

Steven Sletten

dipsheet - My brother was a lot better looking than I was. The girls I dreamed would call me once in my life would instead call him daily.
I used to enjoy putting him in a figure-four while he was on the phone & wouldn't let him out until he told the girl on the other end that his favorite thing to do in the world was suck dicks. I was just a fun little game we played.
Lol you ugly fuck Phone Post 3.0

shaqitup - 
dipsheet - My brother was a lot better looking than I was. The girls I dreamed would call me once in my life would instead call him daily.
I used to enjoy putting him in a figure-four while he was on the phone & wouldn't let him out until he told the girl on the other end that his favorite thing to do in the world was suck dicks. I was just a fun little game we played.
Lol you ugly fuck Phone Post 3.0

Haha, you ever see "The Raven" w/ Lugosi & Karloff?..

"People look at me & say "you're ugly!"... makes me feel mean!"

the sleeping bag thing would have pushed me over the edge. I'm pretty claustrophobic. I might have spazzed out and tried to stab my brother after I got out. 

choadler - I threw an air Jordan (all leather, size 14, high top) at my brother when he was sleeping. I like this brother, just trying to fuck around. Thing spun through air in crazy arc, handed just under the tip of his nose, moving upwards. Broke the shit out of his schnozz. He should have killed me, but he didnt. He knew by my face that it was a mistake. Not sure if I would have had same control. Phone Post 3.0

My nose has been broken a bunch of times but my brother was the first to do it.

 

We were talking about something, not even arguing, just shooting the shit. I can not remember what I said exactly but his response was "yeah you do that and I would break your leg." My brother always had a bad temper but we had just been joking around and having a good time so I thought everything was good, so I said "oh bullshit dude, you wouldnt break my leg". 

As Eminem once said "he was playing in the beginning but the mood all changed"

He gets all serious and  pushes me and says "I would break your fucking leg man" At this point i was 13 and he was 15 (or around that age) and I had put up with his shit for a long time.. and something made me decide i was not going to put up with it any more. So i pushed him back and said "oh cut the bullshit man"

He stepped back up to me and I put my fists up because I wasnt going to let him just beat me up anymore. He looked me in the eye and started to turn and walk away... I thought.. I had just enough time to be glad that I had stood up for myself when he whipped his arm around and backhand elbowed me in the face, shattering my nose. 

I actually pulled my fist back to punch him....until the pain hit and I wilted like a little bitch because the last thing I wanted was more of what he had just gave me. 

In Phone Post 3.0

This one is not that bad.

My brother and his friend created their own language so that they could talk to each other without me knowing what they were talking about.

At first I thought they were making it up but after awhile I could tell they really could understand what each other said.

Many years later my brothers friend called me one day. He said he felt really bad about being so mean to me when we were kids, that it had been bothering him for a long time and that he wanted to apologize. After talking for awhile I asked him about their secret language.

 

Turns out it was pretty simple. All they did was break each word down to its individual letters and make them words. Vowels they just said, consonants they just add ong to. So for example Hello Jay would be Hong E Long Long E Jong A Yong. Fuck you would be Fong u Cong Kong Yong O U.

 

Pretty simple but enough to keep me confused for years.

 

Jesus man. I was enough of a dick to my younger brother but nothin like the stories in here. Older brothers are supposed to protect the smaller ones Phone Post 3.0

My brothers friend was pretty gross sometimes. He knew that trick of making a U with your tongue and using it to spit far. He used to try to hock up the nastiest snotball he could, then come stand next to me and spit it straight up in the air and step away. I would always panic because I didnt know where it was going to come down and the last thing I wanted to do was look up to try to spot it. So I would normally just crouch down and cover up like it was world war 2 and there was incoming mortar fire. 

I smacked my sister on the forehead with my big John studd solid rubber wrestling figure. Remember those wwf toys from the 80's? I swear it was about 2lbs. Gave her a huge goose egg on her head. Day before school picture day.

I used to tell my brother that metal tasted like cotton candy in the winter so that he would lick metal objects...

I'm the youngest of 3...two older brothers so I had to survive many onslaughts...but they made me stronger physically and mentally.

I sort of became a Trollpacalypse.

My one brother and his friend once thought it would be funny to boot me from my Sega Genesis game and turn it off and take over to play their own game (I was 10 at the time and they were 17).

I got angry and took two bananas and broke them in half, shoving half of each in their sneakers. I then proceeded to scratch 2 of my brother's cds with his car keys.

Needless to say, I was in a other room and heard his friend yell, "what the fuck is in my shoe all squishy?" Followed by, "are these fucking bananas?"

My brother proceeded to come are me and whoop my ass (one of many) and shove one of the bananas all over face....better than his cock I guess. Phone Post 3.0

Passive Jay - 

This one is not that bad.

My brother and his friend created their own language so that they could talk to each other without me knowing what they were talking about.

At first I thought they were making it up but after awhile I could tell they really could understand what each other said.

Many years later my brothers friend called me one day. He said he felt really bad about being so mean to me when we were kids, that it had been bothering him for a long time and that he wanted to apologize. After talking for awhile I asked him about their secret language.

 

Turns out it was pretty simple. All they did was break each word down to its individual letters and make them words. Vowels they just said, consonants they just add ong to. So for example Hello Jay would be Hong E Long Long Jong A Yong. Fuck you would be Fong u Cong Kong Yong O U.

 

Pretty simple but enough to keep me confused for years.

 


lmao!