Crappy things my brother did to me growing up.

Lol these are great.

I once threw a bottle of lysol at the back of my little sisters head as she was running away. She cursed at me in front of my friend and I told her not to do that.

your brother sounds like a major asshole. beyond typical big brother stuff. How are you guys to this day?

What was the age difference in some of your sibling abuses? My sister is 7 years older than me but she was pretty brutal at times. She has ground and pounded me into submission more times than I care to remember. If your big brother is 2 or 3 years older, yeah, the beatings can be pretty reasonable, but imagine a 13 year old (she was big for her age too) mounting and raining down elbows on a 6 year old, bloody nose and fat lips and all. When she wasn't punching me, she used to dangle spit over my face. I do give her the credit for making me resilient and tougher.

She also used to sit on me and suffocate me and fart on my face but that's another story.

TheDorkKnight - Jesus man. I was enough of a dick to my younger brother but nothin like the stories in here. Older brothers are supposed to protect the smaller ones Phone Post 3.0

We lived in the suburbs for a bit. Everyone there had 2 kids and mostly they were all close to the same age.

I would protect my brother if he got into a fight. But he started using that by starting fights and having me protect him.

So if he started a fight I would end up fighting the big brother of the kid he fought, and then kicking my brother's @ss and I would let my brother fight his own fight if he started it.

Convinced my little bro that a red habanero pepper was actually an exotic cherry that was the sweetest cherry on the planet. He chomped the entire thing and after a millisecond his face just melted with agony. I could not stop laughing as he wretched and hacked, running to the faucet and gulping water. I did feel bad about it later, and to make it up, I told him I would chew on one too.....so I did. I was already used to eating pretty spicy food, but it still burned, and I acted like it was worse than it was to make him fell better. I was 16 and he was 8.

When I was 8 my oldest brother (16 at the time) was hanging in my room playing video games. He then looked down saying "what's that?" He put a fake arm under my bed and I freaked the fuck out shrieking....my dad ran up like "wtf are you animals doing?"

Later that night....I was awoken by a erry moaning under my pillow. I freaked the fuck out even more and sprinted out my room. My asshole brother hid a tape recorder under my pillow and placed it in slow motion of him moaning like a zombie. Fucking cunt had me paranoid for 2 weeks. Phone Post 3.0

Im an only child so some of these stories sound both horrific and awesome at the same time! Phone Post 3.0

We were pretty poor when I was growing up. Most of the thing I had were hand me downs from my brother or step brother. One thing they could not hand me down was a dresser for my clothes. 

My moms solution was to buy a cardboard dresser. (yes its an actual thing).

One day I got up in the morning and went to get dressed, only to find that my brother had stapled all of my clothes to the bottom of the dresser drawers.

To make matters worse it turned out that before he stapled all of my clothes to the bottom of the drawers he made sure to staple the leg holes of all my underwear closed as well. 

I was the big brother, and most of my friends were older brothers too so we were pretty hard on my younger brother. But then we got older and I realized he got all the muscle genes in the family (I looked like Jack Skellington at a Soundgarden concert as a teenager), over time he beat the shit out of all of us. Shattered one of my jaw teeth, if you can imagine how hard you have to hit someone to bust a molar.

Best we've ever got along was when I lived in MI and he was in WA lol

I'm here now, answers will decided what I leave Phone Post 3.0

Passive Jay -

We were pretty poor when I was growing up. Most of the thing I had were hand me downs from my brother or step brother. One thing they could not hand me down was a dresser for my clothes. 

My moms solution was to buy a cardboard dresser. (yes its an actual thing).

One day I got up in the morning and went to get dressed, only to find that my brother had stapled all of my clothes to the bottom of the dresser drawers.

To make matters worse it turned out that before he stapled all of my clothes to the bottom of the drawers he made sure to staple the leg holes of all my underwear closed as well. 

Sorry but that is fucking funny.

You know the rawhide sticks that you give to dogs? They make some about the thickness of a pen, and my brother used to wait until the dogs chewed it and made it all soggy and slimy. Then he would tackle me, sit on my chest, and brush my teeth with it.

That's really the only thing that sticks out apart from the normal rough housing and wrestling. Phone Post 3.0

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My brother chopped off my fingertip with a shower door.

Hit me hard enough with playground equipment that required cosmetic surgery later in life.

Those are two, of many, off the top of my head.

My brother and I were a year apart. He's older but I outgrew him so it led to interesting moments.

-One time, he and his friend were knocking me around. They set up the old "I kneel behind him and you push". There was snow outside. They didn't see the rock or whatever I landed on. I just remember falling and waking up in the snow. He and his friend both ran off and left me there. I walked home and my Mom told me I'd been gone like 90 minutes. Felt like 2.

-One time, I got so pissed that we had a monumental throw down. My Mom wasn't home so it was epic. The two highlights were him throwing a frying pan at me after smashing me with it and me throwing a knife at him. It stuck in the wall like a movie. He took off for his bedroom and I was so angry I followed. He locks the door and I went through it like the Incredible Hulk. He screams like a girl and falls back further to the bathroom. Destroying the door calmed me down some.

Later, he had to go to the hospital because me going through the door had caused him to jump back, land awkwardly and tear a ligament in his foot. He also needed a new door that was way cheaper and shittier than the previous cheap and shitty door. So he knew he was one fuck up from Hulk 2, electric boogaloo.

Suffice to say, my Mom laid an epic smack down on both of us when she got home. The kitchen and everything looked like the set of Blazing Saddles after the pie fight. She asked me what happened and I told her to ask him, he was in the toilet taking an epic dump. He comes out and accuses me of over reacting to him hitting me with a cast iron skillet. Phone Post 3.0

I was wondering, did any other brother groups in here have rules of engagement? For non "im so pissed it's out the window" fights?

Ours were
1- avoid the face. mom notices bruises/bloody noses/etc.

2- no shots to the balls or all rules go out the window. And no one wins a nut shot war.

3-post fight clean up has to be mutual especially if something got broken.

4- if a substantial injury occurs, there would be an agreed upon lie as to how it happened. Or the next time it did happen, the previously injured would sell out the other. So we'd always agree on a bullshit story. Phone Post 3.0

Here's a fun family story. My Mom has twin brothers. One of them was getting married. My Mom was Irish, if that helps explain.

The twins start arguing about something a few days before the wedding. Something dumb. It keeps escalating. The day before the wedding, My Mom hears my grandma scream for my grandpa. They all run to the kitchen. The twins are knife fighting. They'd started fighting in the kitchen and grabbed knives. Thank God they were just shitty kitchen knives.

They had cut each other a few times and blood was everywhere. They are both in torn white shirts, bloody and yelling. My Grandpa was an Alpha and just yelled "stop this naaaaaoooww!" And they both stopped.

Years later, it's a funny story of the pre-wedding knife fight. Phone Post 3.0

ufc98newb -

your brother sounds like a major asshole. beyond typical big brother stuff. How are you guys to this day?

i try not to hold it against him but i kind of still do. I dont see him that often.

Huffingpaint - I smacked my sister on the forehead with my big John studd solid rubber wrestling figure. Remember those wwf toys from the 80's? I swear it was about 2lbs. Gave her a huge goose egg on her head. Day before school picture day.
imagining big rubber stud smacking hot sister on face Phone Post 3.0

MickColins - I was wondering, did any other brother groups in here have rules of engagement? For non "im so pissed it's out the window" fights?

Ours were
1- avoid the face. mom notices bruises/bloody noses/etc.

2- no shots to the balls or all rules go out the window. And no one wins a nut shot war.

3-post fight clean up has to be mutual especially if something got broken.

4- if a substantial injury occurs, there would be an agreed upon lie as to how it happened. Or the next time it did happen, the previously injured would sell out the other. So we'd always agree on a bullshit story. Phone Post 3.0
My two best friends growing up were brothers...they were big guys and fought with each other constantly. They didn't have rules but their mom did. No spitting, and make sure the younger one took his glasses off first...besides that she would sit back and watch them go to town. Phone Post 3.0

Man kids can be so much more vicious than adults can lol. I guess its the times too, back in the day you could do this kind of shit and it was just sibling rivalry, but nowadays you do some of this kind of stuff and youd end up in juvenile hall with a life long police record.

I was the oldest of 3 kids, with 2 sisters, so I didnt really get to have the whole brother thing, and my dad wasnt having any of me being mean to my sisters.

When we were really young, the middle sister (4 years younger) and me were close and we would pick on the youngest one a lot. Nothing terrible (in my mind) but now that were older she says it was horrible for her.

But then when I was older, about 14-15, the girls were really close and they tortured me lol. They knew they could do anything they want to me and I couldnt do anything back or Id be in trouble. So there were lots of holes in the wall and broken objects. One time they got me so mad I slammed the door and threw my skateboard at it, and the skateboard went halfway through it. I was so afraid of what my dad would do when he got home that I ran away for 2 days.