Custody issues. Talk to me Daddios.

As the "non-custodial parent" who typically sees his son only on weekends how would I go about changing this. He's gonna be 5 in October and obviously can't watch himself yet. While my main worry right now is that I have work at 6 AM and his mom lives 40 minutes away. I don't think it's realistic to think I'll be getting him up by 4 AM to get him ready for a handoff with his mom regularly. Should I just put this dream on layaway for a while or is there a way to make this happen currently? Thanks in advance.

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Human you need to get 50 50 custody

You might not like the answer but unless momma is gonna willingly give you more time or agree to adjust the set orders you are gonna have to lawyer up. 

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TheBearStare -

Human you need to get 50 50 custody

Ha! Good fucking luck with that! 

OP is in California. If you can't count on the California family court system to be fair and equitable, you can't count on anyone! 

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Uncle Rukus -

You might not like the answer but unless momma is gonna willingly give you more time or agree to adjust the set orders you are gonna have to lawyer up. 

I'm willing to do this. But I don't have any daycare option for him that would allow me to get to work by 6 AM. This is my main dilemma in pressing forward right now. I am so tired of her power plays and yanking a weekend day whenever she wants to go do some bullshit with her family I'm ready to blindside her with some court shit. But I'm obviously not ready.

Floppy Divac -
Uncle Rukus -

You might not like the answer but unless momma is gonna willingly give you more time or agree to adjust the set orders you are gonna have to lawyer up. 

I'm willing to do this. But I don't have any daycare option for him that would allow me to get to work by 6 AM. This is my main dilemma in pressing forward right now. I am so tired of her power plays and yanking a weekend day whenever she wants to go do some bullshit with her family I'm ready to blindside her with some court shit. But I'm obviously not ready.

Just bide your time and put yourself into the best possible position then man. I know it sucks 

1 Like

Floppy Divac -

As the "non-custodial parent" who typically sees his son only on weekends how would I go about changing this. He's gonna be 5 in October and obviously can't watch himself yet. While my main worry right now is that I have work at 6 AM and his mom lives 40 minutes away. I don't think it's realistic to think I'll be getting him up by 4 AM to get him ready for a handoff with his mom regularly. Should I just put this dream on layaway for a while or is there a way to make this happen currently? Thanks in advance.

I had to work at 6:30am, and the day care opens at 6:00am.   Just tell the boss you need time to get your child to day care, and you'll be late.


If your job can't work with you, then maybe you need a new job. 


BTW I fought and got 50/50 custody of my son before he was 5 years old.  Now I have full custody of him.


 

2 Likes

Floppy Divac -
Uncle Rukus -

You might not like the answer but unless momma is gonna willingly give you more time or agree to adjust the set orders you are gonna have to lawyer up. 

I'm willing to do this. But I don't have any daycare option for him that would allow me to get to work by 6 AM. This is my main dilemma in pressing forward right now. I am so tired of her power plays and yanking a weekend day whenever she wants to go do some bullshit with her family I'm ready to blindside her with some court shit. But I'm obviously not ready.

Well she shouldn't be able to yank him away if it's your weekend with him to begin with. Get a copy of your custody agreement and a cop when you pick him up on your weekend with him if she doesn't want to. Or be civilized and agree that she can have him that weekend as long as you get him the next 2, etc. 

MPA -
Floppy Divac -

As the "non-custodial parent" who typically sees his son only on weekends how would I go about changing this. He's gonna be 5 in October and obviously can't watch himself yet. While my main worry right now is that I have work at 6 AM and his mom lives 40 minutes away. I don't think it's realistic to think I'll be getting him up by 4 AM to get him ready for a handoff with his mom regularly. Should I just put this dream on layaway for a while or is there a way to make this happen currently? Thanks in advance.

I had to work at 6:30am, and the day care opens at 6:00am.   Just tell the boss you need time to get your child to day care, and you'll be late.


If your job can't work with you, then maybe you need a new job. 


BTW I fought and got 50/50 custody of my son before he was 5 years old.  Now I have full custody of him.


 

Sadly it's the best work opportunity I've had in a very long time and it's still not quite enough to give me the financial foothold I need. I don't know where you live but where I'm at I don't know of any daycares opening that early.

1 Like

tubuku01 -
Floppy Divac -
Uncle Rukus -

You might not like the answer but unless momma is gonna willingly give you more time or agree to adjust the set orders you are gonna have to lawyer up. 

I'm willing to do this. But I don't have any daycare option for him that would allow me to get to work by 6 AM. This is my main dilemma in pressing forward right now. I am so tired of her power plays and yanking a weekend day whenever she wants to go do some bullshit with her family I'm ready to blindside her with some court shit. But I'm obviously not ready.

Well she shouldn't be able to yank him away if it's your weekend with him to begin with. Get a copy of your custody agreement and a cop when you pick him up on your weekend with him if she doesn't want to. Or be civilized and agree that she can have him that weekend as long as you get him the next 2, etc. 

It's not. I'm the non custodial parent. Technically I don't see him. But I do. It was set up this way so she could get extra help from child support services. If I had more money it would be a different story.

I feel like telling her if she doesn't lose some weight she's gonna be dead before he hits puberty.

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California does 50 /50. As long as you arent a screw up you should be getting without too much issue from court. Though it may admittedly take a few hearings to ramp up to it cause "they put the child first"

1 Like

TheBearStare -

California does 50 /50. As long as you arent a screw up you should be getting without too much issue from court. Though it may admittedly take a few hearings to ramp up to it cause "they put the child first"

Yeah. The thing keeping me from pushing this right now is not being able to find daycare in my area before my 6 AM work start.

Floppy Divac -
TheBearStare -

California does 50 /50. As long as you arent a screw up you should be getting without too much issue from court. Though it may admittedly take a few hearings to ramp up to it cause "they put the child first"

Yeah. The thing keeping me from pushing this right now is not being able to find daycare in my area before my 6 AM work start.


Inability to get a babysitter at 6am has nothing to do with 50/50 custody. You are cutting your value to your cub short, and your child's worth to you short.


 


Scheduling of hourse is a different matter from getting 50/50 physical custody. 50/50 physical custody means equal time share which can be divided any way you guys or the court sees fit. That could a 2 2 3 schedule, 2 2 5, change every week, change every month, change for summer months, etc etc. Get 50 /50 physical custody. This 6am issue is not a deal breaker to that and should not be a barrier. Be in your cubs life. Get 50/50 then be consistent. You and mom.

1 Like
TheBearStare -
Floppy Divac -
TheBearStare -

California does 50 /50. As long as you arent a screw up you should be getting without too much issue from court. Though it may admittedly take a few hearings to ramp up to it cause "they put the child first"

Yeah. The thing keeping me from pushing this right now is not being able to find daycare in my area before my 6 AM work start.


Inability to get a babysitter at 6am has nothing to do with 50/50 custody. You are cutting your value to your cub short, and your child's worth to you short.


 


Scheduling of hourse is a different matter from getting 50/50 physical custody. 50/50 physical custody means equal time share which can be divided any way you guys or the court sees fit. That could a 2 2 3 schedule, 2 2 5, change every week, change every month, change for summer months, etc etc. Get 50 /50 physical custody. This 6am issue is not a deal breaker to that and should not be a barrier. Be in your cubs life. Get 50/50 then be consistent. You and mom.

This is encouraging. Thanks.

I don’t care what you have heard, divorce courts don’t give a fuck about children. They are all about appeasing the wife. I couldn’t count the number of friends that were getting a divorce because of a slutty, trashy wife and the judge basically gave the wife every thing they wanted. It also happened to me.

Not a divorce situation. But I'm sorry to hear that man.

Fuuuck. I'm about to get soaked. She just filed to modify our order and I am likely going to have to pick up weekend work being the noncustodial parent.