Da fuq is this thing in my backyard?

Ok, so let me preface this by saying I've lived in the Bronx my whole life and home ownership is new to me.

I'm reading everything I can and asking questions to everyone I know that owns a home but still the OG seems to give the best responses by far.

So here we go again. Da fuq is this thing in my backyard.

Place to hang a hose/hose reel? Some sexual torture device I'm not privy too?

Kind of looks like Greedo's face to be honest.

So what the fuck is this?


For reference, Greedo's face:

Phone Post 3.0

I also want to know Phone Post 3.0

Bad Moon Rising - I also want to know Phone Post 3.0
.

Phone Post 3.0

Expert level urinal

It's a seat but it's bolted upside down Phone Post 3.0

umbrella stand?

Looks like it's just an anchored(probably concrete at the bottom) post with some sort of bracket and pipe attached to it from whatever it used to hold up. Maybe an awning or an outside carport cover?

I have no idea what that is - or what it was. A 4x4 post sunk in concrete is pretty substantial - so it was probably something fairly heavy.  I'd just tear it out. 

On another note, is that a copper water line on the right side of the picture?  What part of the country are you in?

vincan469 - umbrella stand?
This Phone Post 3.0

Some kind of trailer hitch?

In for answers. Phone Post 3.0

borked - Looks like it's just an anchored(probably concrete at the bottom) post with some sort of bracket and pipe attached to it from whatever it used to hold up. Maybe an awning or an outside carport cover?
Nah, definitely not a bracket for carport as its on the side of the house in the backyard. Unless the previous owner was doing burnouts by the hydrangeas LOL.

I guess I could use the set up to attach a hose reel to or something.

Just wondering what the fuck it was. That metal rod can be pulled out through the top, but other than that everything is set in place. Phone Post 3.0

Yeah, definitely minimalistic Greedo artwork. Phone Post 3.0

Yard art Phone Post 3.0

The_KoJ - Yeah, definitely minimalistic Greedo artwork. Phone Post 3.0

lol

Is there a wire coming out the back? If there is it's a power source for a van (camper or refrigerated). Phone Post

Never_rolled - Looks like maybe a gate hinge. Phone Post 3.0
Nope. No gate for about 40 feet in either direction. Phone Post 3.0

MuayThaiMania - Is there a wire coming out the back? If there is it's a power source for a van (camper or refrigerated). Phone Post
No power going to it. Phone Post 3.0

Stand for some kind of outdoor lamp post?

It's a 60's fleshlight.... Enjoy Phone Post 3.0