Dear Yankees Who Moved to Texas

First of all, thanks for blowing up home prices to stupid levels. Literally tripling prices on basic ass houses.

Just to let you know. When you exclaim out loud in the bar " IM FROM (fill in blank of northern shithole) "!!! You can place New York, Jersey, Rhode Island, Michigan, Connecticut or even Ohio. It does not matter, you are all equally as obnoxious and worthless. Nobody gives a fuck!

Don’t expect a standing ovation when you exclaim this, your not unique, interesting or super kool. Yankees have been invading Texas since the 70s. Nothing unique about they way you talk ( Pahhhk Yaaaa CAAAAH). So you can turn it down.

Also. We carry guns here. Nothing unique or machismo. We can not give a shit how many Saiga automatic shotguns you sleep with at night. How many AR15s you carry in your F-150 with the 4 cyclinder engine in it. We could not give a shit that you reload custom ammo to shoot out of your wanna be sniper rifles’ or how many hours you spend at the range. You see , we Texans have been shooting since we could walk. It is no big deal to shoot a 1 inch group at 100 yards. You make yourself look really stupid bragging about it. You really make yourself look stupid when you pull out your cell phones and start showing pictures of the groups you shot at the range. Your likely to get laughed at. Because you see , their are a lot of us that shoot real animals at 400-600 yards with a 400 dollar Wal Mart rifle. You cant impress us.

While you go to bed every night in your pink brick brand new piece of shit house built out of white board and overpriced at $800,00, feel free to stack all your super guns around you, fantasizing about the never to happen home invasion. You might be more realistic to worry about the inevitable 100 mph hour winds that WILL OCCURR, and will turn your cheaply built house into toothpicks and sheetrock dust.

Just Saying.

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IM FROM Saskatchewan!

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Texas is fucking stupid. I’ve never met an intelligent person from Texas.

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you will never be one of us. lol. Every one of my yankee friends always talk about " moving back" one day.

Is your name " Buster De Bodycrab"

lol

do you need a hug?
safe space maybe?

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Quite the obnoxious generalization lol

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in the cowboy bar the other night, and a whole slew of them , were talking about what kind of guns they keep in each room of their house.

Mutha Fukin SCAR .308 in the pantry. Even the women. 10mm on the nightstand. .

LOL and one of the dudes has his Texan garb. he got his brand new wranglers pulled up the crack of his ass lol. Baseball hat with a fish hook and the bill curled up. LOL. as soon as he left, guess who started moving down the bar seat by seat towards me. His wife. Yep she wanted Texas cock.

Also . If your going to get a cowboy hat, spend some money and have it shaped properly. You fucking yanks with your wal mart cowboy hats that look like a taco shell. OMG lol at your silly ass.

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You spend an entire post telling everyone that they aren’t special or unique by trying to point out all the ways you Texans are special and unique. Makes sense.

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Whoa! OP is cool as fuck!

woo hoo ric flair GIF

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Y’all separated from Kanada? I commend you folk (and I do mean that)…

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image

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If y’all meet any Canadian snowbirds, understand it’s just a term and those are actual humans and not reincarnated Kanadian geese (aka - don’t shoot)…

I was serious when I said your new construction houses will come apart. Any wind above 70 and your fucked. The new construction does not use anything bigger than a 2x4 in the frame. That includes 2 and 3 story houses. unbelievable.

we have American snowbirds as well. They flock down here and clog up all the Rv parks in South Texas.
and sit around and bitch because they cant get a proper “PIE” . lol

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Kanadian snowbirds are of a different breed - they will apologize if you look at them the wrong way, drink Kanadian bear and often talk in a fucked up accent whilst wearing a Canadian tuxedo at a local American bar asking for Bryan Adams via the DJ karaoke request.

Again harmless…

False.

I lived in Texas for four years. I never offered up where I was from. People asked left and right. Then when I answered, there were always tons of follow-up questions about NY. Genuine interest in the differences.

People absolutely give a fuck.

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Star Trek Applause GIF

Honestly that doesn’t mean that they care.

Didn’t the entire state fall apart last year over a couple inches of snow?

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