Hey, fellow OGers. Love all you guys because you keep it real.
My wife have been to get her for 20 yrs, married young at 23. We have had a good marriage. She is caring and a good mom. Over the last 10 yrs we have become enemies almost. She will even talk crap about me to my 10 yr old. And this is stupid stuff too. Don’t be stupid like your dad… I still would say she is an amazing person but think our gas ran out. We have 4 kids that are doing well overall.
Now here is the kicker. I found a women just about the same age with 3 kids in a crappy marriage. We were both not even looking for “the one” but for some reason seems like it came out of left field.
She is a good mom
She is super hot
We jinx alot
Both love to sing and music (all the same stuff)
We have the same dog
Parents from New York
She teaches math, I teach PAs and physicians in the ER
She teaches swimming and have always competed in sports, I teach jiu jitsu and MMA , always competed in sports
Virtually we are twins that find each other super sexually attractive.
I’ve never had this kind of passion and chemistry but we are tormented trying to cause the least amount of damage.
Do we stay in our marriages for our kids? Will the toxicity be absorbed too much?
Do we work on an exit plan? All parents involved are good people and I would hope will find good mates.
Do I ask to just have an open marriage and stay in the same house?
I am going to marriage counseling with my wife who knows about her. She says she will change but seems too little to late for me. We are still going to marriage counseling. The other girl knows and thinks it’s great to figure crap out. But I would like the OGs opinion.
I tried to stay in a terrible marriage for the kids and it was way worse for to e kids. Now that I am out of the marriage it is so easy to see. None of us have been happier minus maybe her. I have a hotter, cooler girl that likes to fuck now. I see my kids almost everyday and talk to them a few times a day. Trust me
You are likely idealizing the other woman. Hopefully you haven’t slept with her yet?
Anyway, if you had any interest in keeping your marriage together you would be staying as far away from this other woman as possible. Your wife knows all these details about her? I’m surprised she hasn’t just gone to a lawyer.
I think your mind is made up, you just want people to tell you what you are doing is ok, so I’ll do it…
Bang the other chick and have some excitement, it will be great.
If this is real and not a troll… The ages of your kids is the deciding factor.
If your kids are not at least 13 then you suck it up and fake it until they become at least teenagers.
Once they are teens then if you still feel divorce is the best option then go for it.
Divorce DESTROYS younger kids, I just went through it and we are two years removed and my 10 year old is still a complete wreck and my twelve year old is an entirely different person than he was (and not in a good way).
We have done everything we can to assure them, share 50/50 custody, live 3 miles apart, attend birthdays together, etc. Even with all of that, the fact that they now have to live in 2 different places and can no longer just walk into the living room and hug both of their parents has significantly changed them. My sons are shadows of who they used to be and their mother and I ruined the amazing life paths they were on by burdening them at such a young age with divorce.
I am sure in the long run they will turn out okay, but I am absolutely 100% convinced that divorce is too much for kids before they are at least teenagers.