I raised my son in an era where parents told their kids to do whatever they wanted and no idea was wrong. These kids are adults now and it’s a mixed bag. My son didn’t like school but he was wise to learn a trade. He is making good money for his age and has an idea what he wants to do eventually and how to get there.
My daughter is a great student. She is in the 99th percentile. I’ve been talking to her about following her dreams but I’ve also been telling her that shit costs money. I’ve been telling her the benefits of living in a nice neighborhood, having money to eat healthy food and being able to go on vacation etc.
I’m not trying to tell her to only look at making a lot of money to be looked at being successful, just trying to let her know the reality of life.
Her mom was a good student but she is lacking in common sense. She was the valedictorian but she is a school teacher now. Nothing wrong with that but she’d be broke now if she didn’t have a rich dad.
I think it is sinking through. She is a saver and she has a little business, a fruit stand. She also sells fresh squeezed oj. She seems to know the value of a buck and has an idea of what’s going on in the world.
I know one kid that followed his dream of becoming a real life ninja! He studied the art and his wife supports him and their kid. I have no idea if his ninja skills pay the bills now but I am going out on a limb and say no.
I tell my kids that they can and should chase their dreams if they have them, but that they should know the realistic risks and odds of attaining them, then decide if they are passionate enough about it to take the risks they are realistically aware of, and if they dont have dreams they are passionate about they should do something rational and productive I’m the meantime, like pursue a trade or stem degree. It’s a lot easier to decide to do something liberal artsy or artistic later than it is to decide to pursue bigger math and science after blowing it off.
My brother married a chick with a kid. Kid was a typical teenage loser, just wanted to smoke pot and play Xbox all day. He EVENTUALLY graduated high school, and my brother gave him “the talk” - You either enroll in college, or you get a job and start paying rent.
A month later the kid moved out, and moved in with his father, who ALSO only wanted to smoke pot and play Xbox all day.
A month after THAT his wife move out and filed for divorce. “Thanks for raising my kid for me. I’m a lesbian now.”
My oldest of 4 (15 years old) is a talented artist and a passable singer. She wants to be either an anime artist or a voice artist for animated shows.
I told her that both of those careers are low probability and low pay (unless you’re the top 1%, like Tara Strong or Jennifer Hale or s/t), and while I won’t tell her not to do these things, she needs a serious back-up plan (or two) that’s realistic, within her realm of ability, and pays decently. She said being a nurse or psychologist is not a bad idea to her, and so I’m encouraging her to load up on science classes and get those done to prep for jobs like that while also pushing for her two interests in art and voice work, which I am 99.99% sure will flame out before she’s 18. Anime artists work like dogs and don’t make shit, and voice acting is like any other vocal career, the competition is merciless for a very small number of spots.