Dumbest/embarrassing things done drunk

Was talking with the wife last night about dumb things we’d done drunk as I’ve been sober since we met and I thought I’d share some of the best and see what other OGers have done.

I used to impulse buy all the time when drunk one of the worst and most expensive was I brought a 3 piece Viking drinking horn set for around $200 which I never used and had no space to display. That’s definitely one of the dumbest.

Two of the most embarrassing involve Facebook and girls. The first got home from a night out went to go to a Facebook profile of a friend to creep on some of her photos and instead posted a status with just her name and her tagged on it. And the worst - different girl who I’d known as a teenager appeared working at a bar we went to a lot - she had really matured (got hot) at university and was showing the guys a pic of her in a bikini and tagged myself as her body without realising. She definitely checked her phone and readied before we did as well. 
 

OG let’s hear yours 

Found the OtherGround. 
 

no escape  

You sure you're still sober?

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Wild drinking stories used to involve fast moving cars, fights in bars and lines of cocaine off strippers asses. This is what wild drinking stories have devolved to... online shopping and facebook.

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Too many idiotic things to list. 

Every time I drank I did not do something stupid, but everytime I did something really fucking dumb I was drunk

 

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She readied before you did? 

Woke up on a random porch about three miles away from my house. I was missing my hat and both shirts...my shorts had a hole in them and my leg was all scratched up like I was either fighting a cat or ran through thorns.

The guy came out to get the paper and I asked him what happened lastnight. Then I asked to use his bathroom and he let me inside to take a piss. Then I walked home. As I was walking home it dawned on me that I wasn't at that house lastnight and had no idea who he was or where I was.

 

Fuck you alcohol! Props to the guy for letting me take a piss too.

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BJ Penn Forever -

Wild drinking stories used to involve fast moving cars, fights in bars and lines of cocaine off strippers asses. This is what wild drinking stories have devolved to... online shopping and facebook.

We’re talking dumb and embarrassing not wild and crazy, totally different things. Everyone posts all the time the crazy stories 

kingj03 -
BJ Penn Forever -

Wild drinking stories used to involve fast moving cars, fights in bars and lines of cocaine off strippers asses. This is what wild drinking stories have devolved to... online shopping and facebook.

We’re talking dumb and embarrassing not wild and crazy, totally different things. Everyone posts all the time the crazy stories 

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I fed a bus a carrot. 

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I could write a book with the only topic being "places I have woken up naked."

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I once met this chick at the bar and went to her house and banged her a bunch. In the morning I woke up and we were in her living room and her mom was sitting on the couch drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette watching the golden girls 2 feet away from us. I was ass up butt naked with no sheets covering me. Good times. 

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After leaving a house party where a huge brawl broke out we stopped to piss off a 4x4 trail and I stepped off a fucking cliff. Caught myself on a little shrub so I didn't die or break anything but I was banged up really bad.

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Woke up in the back seat of a car I didn’t recognize. Looked through the papers in the glovebox thinking I’d see a friend’s name on registration or something, but didn’t recognize the name at all. 

It was 3:00 AM, was raining, and I didn’t even know where I was - I had to walk out of the neighborhood to find a cross street to even figure out the location. 

Called my wife (who was just my gf at the time) to pick me up, but she wouldn’t come until 6:00. This was well before Uber was a thing. So I found an IHOP and sat there for three hours, while my hangover set in while I was awake. 

Pissed on my wifes antique cash register. I woke up to me standing with my hand on the wall pissing on the cash register, her screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING". 

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In the summer between my 8th and 9th grade of school, i was camping with 2 of my buddies.

Tripped and fell, sat down on a pint bottle of vodka.

88 stitches in my right ass cheek.

12 to close the top, 76 to pull it all together. Biggest, deepest, nastiest cut I've ever seen

Pretty fuckin dumb

 

Most embattassing? I have two. I was around 20-21 at a decent size house party and a friends house. There was a girl that was friends with my buddy's girlfriend that was always around. She was our same age and about 5'3 probably 170-180.  I went into the bathroom and threw up and had just washed out my mouth and was walking out when she came waddling in. She starts kissing me and grabbing my dick. I was in the midst of a pussy drought (maybe 2 months) so I figured why not. I get her big ass up onto the counter, get her pants pulled down and start fucking her. In the middle of it suddenly the music that was on in the living got really loud and I thought someone has turned it up. About 10 mire seconds go by and I urned and looked over my shoulder and there stood my buddy and his girlfriend with about 6 or 7 others. I tried to push the girl off so I could pull my pants up but it was like she had pulled guard and was holding on for her life. I caught shit about that for probably a year.

 

My other one was actually at the same house. Again I'm drunk and throwing up. I'd had the shits all day before I even started drinking. I go behind the garage throwing up. While doing so I'm about to shit/squirt in my pants, so I drop my pants and start shitting and puking at the same time. Two of my friends and a couple of girls were leaving and instead of going out through the garage they left out the backside door of tbe house. They come around the corner and almost bumped into me squatted down simultaneously puking and shitting. They guys laughed when they realized what was happening. The girls acted like it was the worst thing that could ever happen. For me, it was definitely one ofthe worst things to be caught doing. It made me feel much better about getting caught fucking the meatball a few months earlier.

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I fucked a lot of legit 2's and 3's/

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I have a list of nights I'd like to forget about and all of them have something to do with being drunk

Me and some friends were watching Wrestlemania and drinking heavily. We had a shit ton of beer and were doing Jaeger shots. After mania was over it turned in to a full on wrestling brawl in my living room and front yard. We were giving each other Ric Flair chops, clotheslines and I even broke my couch giving our other passed out friend a cannon ball. We realized we were too fucked up when we took it to the front yard and another friend wanted to climb on to my roof and hit me with a flying elbow.