LOL.
This is like reading my bio.
I've been doing this jiu jitsu caper for about 7.5 years. Started when the Mrs and I had been married for about 3 years and didn't put the effort in that I could have.
Now that the kids are here (3.5 and .5 yrs) and the job's in full swing. It's hard to get to the gym regularly.
A lot of guys say to me 'dude, you're doing great! You should train more' and my reply is 'My wife has a life too and the kids like their dad, so if I can make 3 sessions a week, that's a win'.
Timing wise, it's gotten to the point where I take lunch time sessions just so they don't (rightfully) intrude on the home life.
I used to train with a small club run by coloured belts and pals, but a very good Humaita BB setup 3 minutes from my house so I switched teams hoping to get more learning for my training time (which is what has happened), but it's still hard to get to the gym.
And just like everyone else here, it's a fact of life seeing dynamos who train 6+ times a week who are learning scarily fast and giving my ageing ass (I'm 32 and both my shoulders are on their way to god..) a harder workout every time we're on the mat.
Every time I go to compete in the standard age bracket, the opponents are getting younger, more aggressive and shredded and my part-time body has a hard time keeping up. I'm actually considering Masters for the first time just so I can worry about fighting the other guy on technique and not fast-twitch muscle.
It's also mildly depressing seeing guys rocket up the ranks faster than I did, simply because they're on the mat so often. I don't begrudge them that, but because I'm the highest grade (after the coach), they all want to tear me a new one every session and that's getting hard to deal with. Just the other night, one young machine grabbed me in a double and in his excitement, spiked me vertically on my head. A mate of mine was watching and he says after 'Christ, I thought your neck was going to snap the way it folded up...' That gave me real pause thinking 'WTF would I do if I had just broken my neck because some young guy wants to take me out?'
So to all the other dudes with a life off the mat, I feel for you...
Also, on the funny side, I've been joking with a few guys in a similar boat to me that we should start the 'Old guys/guys with lives' clique in the gym.
The 'criteria' would be:
- You have a long-term partner (multiple years);
- You have a job that requires at least 35+ hours a week;
- A mortgage;
- kids or a partner hassling you about them; and
- that you have at least one perpetual injury...
:)
armbarcrashdummy - Also, on the funny side, I've been joking with a few guys in a similar boat to me that we should start the 'Old guys/guys with lives' clique in the gym.
The 'criteria' would be:
- You have a long-term partner (multiple years);
- You have a job that requires at least 35+ hours a week;
- A mortgage;
- kids or a partner hassling you about them; and
- that you have at least one perpetual injury...
:)
-HaHa, Love this.
We have one of those in the gym I train at.
Our requirements are simple:
-must be 35+
-must have a career
-must have a family to support.
-must understand that we need to be healthy to train again tomorrow.
There's about 5 of us. We rock.
Knocking on 43 now. Age has taught me that it's a marathon rather than a sprint. I see tons of young athletic guys burn out after a year or two. I'm still here... Will be for as long as I can. I actually enjoy rolling more now than ever. Don't worry at all about how many times a week I can get in. I see slow steady progress and am having a great time. Finding the right balance is key.
I know what you mean!
Wait a minute...no I don't. I'm 21. It's awesome.
Question for all you old timers:
How's your strength training?
I've rolled guys that are getting on but they've kept up a good weights routine and that keeps the younger guys at bay.
Also, what's your game like?
If you have a marcelo garcia/cobrinha type game I can see age and injuries being a big factor. But mario sperry/gordo type? You could keep that up into your fifties.
I have to disagree that you have to choose to either get married with children or be serious about your BJJ and career. I am 45 years old, happily married with two kids and I am training and working hard every day. I think you just have to:
A.be married to the right woman that is just as driven as you are. My wife supports me in all my goals and we both work out hard. If your wife does not share your goals, move on.
B. be smart with your time. We all have the same 24 hours a day, but I really watch my internet, TV and other entertainment time because I rather spend it with the family, working or working out.
LeoKirby -
I think it's great when a 20 year old kid who is training 6 days a week asks me where I have been if I miss some classes. I always think, and occasionally say...I have been training in Martial arts for over 30 years, bjj for 10...ask me about my training if you are still doing this 10 years from now.
we have this kid...18 yrs olds, and hes' a great kid don't get me wrong. but, i was on vacation for 2 wks and i come back and he's like...where you been? you train while you where on vacation?
now he gets to train 6 days a week and only been doing it for a year and is already competing in the mundials. I'm real jealous of the little fucker...i wanted to say something similar to what you say..but i held my tongue.
i use to just play around roll with him and now he's tapping me...WTF i'm jealous
Question for all you old timers:
"How's your strength training?
I've rolled guys that are getting on but they've kept up a good weights routine and that keeps the younger guys at bay.
Also, what's your game like?
If you have a marcelo garcia/cobrinha type game I can see age and injuries being a big factor. But mario sperry/gordo type? You could keep that up into your fifties."
BJJ is my strength training. Rolling with younger and more atheletic guys keeps me in better shape than lifting weights. However, in the last couple of years I have done some body weight and kettle bell work when we had an awesome conditioning coach.
My game is pretty basic. Nothing fancy or flashy. Control the opponent, be patient, set things up. Frustrate active opponents as best I can by keeping them less mobile. It's not as fun to watch I'm sure, but it's what feels natural for me. Oh and tap when caught...none of this never tap tough guy b/s.
i focus mostly on Bjj but i try and do strength train at aleast 2 days per weeks ..
"BJJ is my strength training...
My game is pretty basic. Nothing fancy or flashy. Control the opponent, be patient, set things up..."
I think this might explain a lot of the problems you're having. I know family oriented/career focused guys are pressed for time, but a solid strength training program makes a huge difference. I can't really understate the benefits from a strong grip and back.
All these "athletic" guys jumping about relying on speed, conditioning and yes technique as well, wont be so problematic when you've got a hold of those fuckers.
Of course if they're bigger and stronger than you as well, then I'm out of ideas.
What kind of guard do you play by the way? That's a pretty big factor as well.
JasonGV, I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm not having problems. BJJ is going great for me and I'm really enjoying it and am in the best shape of my adult life.
As for my guard, it's the shorty stumpy leg kind ;)
My bad
Thought you were one of the old timers complaining about the young-ens running circles round you.
Don Whitefield - I have to disagree that you have to choose to either get married with children or be serious about your BJJ and career. I am 45 years old, happily married with two kids and I am training and working hard every day. I think you just have to:
A.be married to the right woman that is just as driven as you are. My wife supports me in all my goals and we both work out hard. If your wife does not share your goals, move on.
B. be smart with your time. We all have the same 24 hours a day, but I really watch my internet, TV and other entertainment time because I rather spend it with the family, working or working out.
you're wrong.
my wife and i have two small sons and no family around to help out w/ watching them.
your wife is a shill if she watches the kids all day while you work and then come home and head off to bjj w/out spending quality time w/t he kids.
if you're training serious for real big things. like winning comps, progressing fast, etc... you can not have these responsibilities.
you need to train 5+ times a week to be elite. flat out.
now that all depends on what you do for a living and your situation, granted. but most likely, a man will work all day and the woman is either watching children or working as well.
that means that if you dedicate the time to the training, your kids miss out. that makes you a great grappler and shitty person.
what i mean is ELITE. i too train 2-3 times a week. im 32. i bet your kids are older now and don't need constant watching/attention. when im 45, my sons will be 17 and 15. that leaves some room open to train for sure.
i bet Don couldn't make this post when his kids were toddlers or infants. your 'supportive' wife would most likely leave your ass if you trained that much and neglected the children.
i don't mean YOU as in Don Whitefield. i'm generalizing.
cprevost - Knocking on 43 now. Age has taught me that it's a marathon rather than a sprint. I see tons of young athletic guys burn out after a year or two. I'm still here... Will be for as long as I can. I actually enjoy rolling more now than ever. Don't worry at all about how many times a week I can get in. I see slow steady progress and am having a great time. Finding the right balance is key.
This is what I have discovered for myself. Turning 39 this year.
armbarcrashdummy - Also, on the funny side, I've been joking with a few guys in a similar boat to me that we should start the 'Old guys/guys with lives' clique in the gym.
The 'criteria' would be:
- You have a long-term partner (multiple years);
- You have a job that requires at least 35+ hours a week;
- A mortgage;
- kids or a partner hassling you about them; and
- that you have at least one perpetual injury...
:)
Have a good buddy that is a black belt and we used to joke that if they had this kind of division at a tournament, we could rule that division.
The 'criteria' would be:
check (shit I just realized this is our 8th year aniversary)- You have a long-term partner (multiple years);
check- You have a job that requires at least 35+ hours a week;
check- A mortgage;
check- kids or a partner hassling you about them; and
check My neck and shoulder act up every once ina while so - that you have at least one perpetual injury...
u think he's kidding ,it already been 10 days,wtf have you done?
Been doing BJJ for over 12 years now. Got my black belt 6 years ago and am now 36, married, with 2 great kids. I train 2x a week now maybe 3 if I'm real lucky. I sometimes think back when I use to train everyday and the old me would kick my ass 8 ways in 3 minutes and ask if I was tired or feeling ok. The thought of that makes me depressed sometimes, but then I realize I have a great wife and great kids and realize just like everything else time will pass and you have to move on.