Entertain me at the ER

Might be in for a long day here gentlemen, entertain me

Why are you there?

UltimateKeyboardWarrior -


Why are you there?

Blood in my stool twice this morning. Got to work, shat blood and decided to monitor the situation. An hour later did it again, darker this time so being a Crohn's sufferer and having had portions of intestine removed I thought it wasn't the worst idea to get looked at.

Good call. I have blood in my stool but it is due to a hemorrhoid

My second home, been there 8 times in the last 60 days.

I feel for you brotha, here's a joke for you....

 

If your nurse had as many dicks on her, as she's had in her, she'd be a porcupine 

Sorry about your butthole. But to honor it, here's some more butthole jokes...

 

Q. Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

 

A. Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

 

 

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream when youre having anal sex?

 

A. Call and tell her about it.

 

 

 

 

UltimateKeyboardWarrior - Good call. I have blood in my stool but it is due to a hemorrhoid

Yes usually hemis. Hopefully that is all it is. Best of luck, Mr. Mayor. 

What were some of your symptoms of crohns other than the blood in your stool? 

canadiens fan taking it in the ass... wicked shockah!

jk- hope all is well

Lock yourself in a single bathroom and start screaming "HELP! Mah ass fell out again!!!! Oh god my hole prolapsed yawl!!!!"

Prayers for you.

Ask the doctor to check your butthole for sperm. It's possible you were simply ass raped in your sleep by a giant cock.

Bobby91k -

What were some of your symptoms of crohns other than the blood in your stool? 

I never had blood when I was being diagnosed actually. I lost 30lbs in a month and a half, urgent and frequent shits (5-6 times a day minimum), and pain. Fucking PAIN. 9.5/10 for 24 hours a day pain. Also had extreme anxiety towards the end (the "end" being the day they diagnosed me and started treatment) so bad I couldn't even swallow a tiny Tylenol 3 cut into quarters.

FedorFan5000 -

Lock yourself in a single bathroom and start screaming "HELP! Mah ass fell out again!!!! Oh god my hole prolapsed yawl!!!!"

Pretty sure this would do nothing but confuse these french canadian nurses, but I'll give it a shot!

Dark blood is not at all a good sign, you know this. I hope all is well. Inform us when you know

MayorPickle -
Bobby91k -

What were some of your symptoms of crohns other than the blood in your stool? 

I never had blood when I was being diagnosed actually. I lost 30lbs in a month and a half, urgent and frequent shits (5-6 times a day minimum), and pain. Fucking PAIN. 9.5/10 for 24 hours a day pain. Also had extreme anxiety towards the end (the "end" being the day they diagnosed me and started treatment) so bad I couldn't even swallow a tiny Tylenol 3 cut into quarters.

Damn.. Sorry to hear, hope you get better. Where is all your pain? Stomach or elsewhere?

Bobby91k -
MayorPickle -
Bobby91k -

What were some of your symptoms of crohns other than the blood in your stool? 

I never had blood when I was being diagnosed actually. I lost 30lbs in a month and a half, urgent and frequent shits (5-6 times a day minimum), and pain. Fucking PAIN. 9.5/10 for 24 hours a day pain. Also had extreme anxiety towards the end (the "end" being the day they diagnosed me and started treatment) so bad I couldn't even swallow a tiny Tylenol 3 cut into quarters.

Damn.. Sorry to hear, hope you get better. Where is all your pain? Stomach or elsewhere?

Pain was all concentrated in my abdomen, caused by inflammation of the intestines. I haven't had a cramp in almost 2 years, ever since I started on Remicade. That stuff is expensive as fuck but it's kept me good. I actually feel fine right now, I just came as more of a precaution so they could check me out and rule out anything major.

Thanks for the support guys, even that dirty Broons fan MBN... ;)

TryhardNobody -

No idea why I quoted someone

It just happens sometimes.

 

Wishing you well Mayor! Get better soon!

You know how everyone cuts corners at work? Its 10x worse in a hospital. Especially in an ER. Especially nurses and doctors. Especially the linens guy who "washed" your gown and sheets.

I work in a hospital ER ;)