Ever Sh!t yourself on the way to work?

So I wake up this morning with bubble guts. Take a quick shit before shower, only a few rabbit pellets drop out. No biggie, get ready for work and get on train. 

As I'm on the train I contemplate using one of the bathrooms (Metro North has bathrooms on train) decide to tough it out as its not that bad, although I am ripping some nasty ass that I know people around me are not enjoying as one girl got up and moved to another seat. 

Get to Grand Central, no way I'm using bathrooms there, clench cheeks and get on 5 train. Tell myself it's just a few stops and then I can shit at my job. Get off of train and it's now a full on emergency. Clenching and doing the shitty walk all the way to building. Get to building, fumbling to find pass to get in door. Cmon elevator, hurry the fuck up! Drop bag and jacket at desk. Full on sprint to bathroom, drop pants and unleash hell. Staring at underwear as my bowels evacuate wondering what I would have done had I shit myself. Call in sick from up the block? Walk to Century 21 on Broadway to buy new clothes and try to clean myself up? 

In any case, OG, ever shit yourself on the way to work?

2 things:

1. Who the hell gambles on farts on the train when they have an urgent need to shit?

2. You were gonna buy clothes at Century 21? Is that not a real estate brokerage?

MayorPickle - 2 things:

1. Who the hell gambles on farts on the train when they have an urgent need to shit?

2. You were gonna buy clothes at Century 21? Is that not a real estate brokerage?

1) I like to live dangerously. 

 

2) Not that C21, there's another that is a huge department store here in the city where I could have purchased new pants and underwear and even shoes and socks if it was particularly messy, which it was. 

MayorPickle - 2 things:

1. Who the hell gambles on farts on the train when they have an urgent need to shit?

2. You were gonna buy clothes at Century 21? Is that not a real estate brokerage?
Lololol

Nitecrawler -
MayorPickle - 2 things:

1. Who the hell gambles on farts on the train when they have an urgent need to shit?

2. You were gonna buy clothes at Century 21? Is that not a real estate brokerage?

1) I like to live dangerously. 

 

2) Not that C21, there's another that is a huge department store here in the city where I could have purchased new pants and underwear and even shoes and socks if it was particularly messy, which it was. 

LOLOLOL

I've told
This before, but last Tuesday i sharted at the fair, BEFORE, going inside, but didn't notice until my sister made me turn around and show my ass to the entire family, I look back and see about a nickel sized shit circle on my khakis.


I took my sweater off, wrapped it around my waist like Rocky from 3 Ninjas, and rode every ride I wanted.... Even sunk the fückin clown a few times like a G.

My family asked what the fuck was wrong with me that I sharted, I told em, "I like to live dangerously."

Lol

I thought this was a bump of one of your earlier 'help! I've just shit myself' threads.

Glad to see you're still fighting the good fight.

No but I sharted in the break room once. Had played golf the evening before and drank about 8 beers. Got home and ordered a Domino's thin crust veggie pizza and ate about 3/4 of it covered liberally in crushed red pepper. Next day was fine until just after lunch I'm standing in the break room and feel a fart coming on. I give the green light and immediately knew I'd fucked up. Did the stiff-legged duck walk past reception desk and said "I'm running some errands."

Went home, showered, and changed. Even my pants were soiled by the time I got home (sat on a towel in the car which thank God I had). It was bad.

Internet - I thought this was a bump of one of your earlier 'help! I've just shit myself' threads.

Glad to see you're still fighting the good fight.

I had to go back to see if I made that many threads about shitting myself, could only find another one about shitting in the shower. 

Maybe two threads about shitting yourself is two too many. LOL. 

No, shit myself at work though once. That was a fucking nightmare.

CookedAndBombed - No, shit myself at work though once. That was a fucking nightmare.

Do tell. 

Where I work, the bathroom is kinda far away, like maybe 100 yds or more down a hallway.  We used to have this co-worker who was quite possibly the most obese person I've ever met.  One day, I overheard her say to another co-worker that she tried to make it down the hallway and couldn't make it in time and that she had to go home.

 

I can understand telling the supervisor that you're sick or something like that and going home, but who tell's their supervisor/manager that they shit themselves???

No but almost. I had to do a u-turn on the highway and drove 90+ mph to the town I passed a couple of miles back. Thankfully I made it to a gas station and took care of business.

i did on the way to take finals once. full on diarhea shart. nearly soaked thru to my seat. somehow i had napkins and laundry in the car to save my ass, literally

God damn dude. I've nearly shat myself on the train before. No worse feeling in the world.

Nitecrawler -
Internet - I thought this was a bump of one of your earlier 'help! I've just shit myself' threads.

Glad to see you're still fighting the good fight.

I had to go back to see if I made that many threads about shitting myself, could only find another one about shitting in the shower. 

Maybe two threads about shitting yourself is two too many. LOL. 

Haha the shower one is probably what I'm thinking about.

Can't wait for your next thread

'Shit myself on long-haul flight, got a bit in my mouth, AMA/TME'

I have a coworker who ruined an office chair a couple weeks ago. It literally ran us out of dispatch. We had to toss chair, and order another 1 from supply.
We're not sure he even realized he did it.
How do you not know you have shitted your britches?

eubie5 - I have a coworker who ruined an office chair a couple weeks ago. It literally ran us out of dispatch. We had to toss chair, and order another 1 from supply.
We're not sure he even realized he did it.
How do you not know you have shitted your britches?

When your farts sound more like an exhale, you have the potential to not know you shit yourself. 

 

Kids, always keep your diameter in check. Don't get it stretched, only bad things can happen. 

Why is it when you have to shit really bad, the closer you get the toilet the more intense the pain gets? It's like the second your eyes realize you're close, your brain gives the ok for the eject button. I'll never understand it.

Every day

Nitecrawler -
CookedAndBombed - No, shit myself at work though once. That was a fucking nightmare.

Do tell. 

Had to work a Saturday shift after a heavy night out, too much speed and alcohol, got to work the next day still buzzing my tits off. Worked in a warehouse picking orders for a pharmacy, was skipping around singing along to the radio, landed quite hard and a jet of water like shit sprayed out of my arsehole, all down my leg, into my socks and trainers, immediately ran towards the bog to go clean up but there was a very noticeable wet patch all the way down my leg. Tried to dry it off as best I could but I couldn't hide the smell. So going from being the most sociable I've ever been at work to hiding out of the way for most of it because I smelt of shit.