Every time I shake someone's hand...

...I'm thinking to myself "I use this hand to masturbate." 

 

Every fucking time.

 

True story.

I lick my hand after I shake hands and won't break eye contact until they walk away. Phone Post 3.0

MrFluffyHippo - I lick my hand after I shake hands and won't break eye contact until they walk away. Phone Post 3.0

hippos don't have hands. i think you're selling wolf tickets sir

I wish I could. I jerk left handed

I would love to shake your hand, both of us look at each other, and the slightest grin on our faces appear. Then we fuck. Phone Post 3.0

I form a rigid claw with my hand so they can feel my power but know I'm choosing not to use it.

PatK - I wish I could. I jerk left handed
Bro fist. With the left of course. Phone Post 3.0

Dongbar13 - 


...I'm thinking to myself "I use this had to masturbate." 



 



Every fucking time.



 



True story.



I don't have a problem with it as long as you at least wipe some of it off.  I don't appreciate walking around looking like I just fisted a mayonaise jar.

I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

Edelweiss - I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

and your job title is?

Edelweiss - I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

 

Amazing haha.  Food or Pharma? got to be one of those with that level of contamination control. 

 

 

That is hilarious.

BBC POV - 
TuckerMTL - 
Edelweiss - I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

and your job title is?


Inspector Jizz,



 



Why not just give everybody gloves when they come in ?



Director of Semenal Security

I usually change my opinion of a guy if he gives me one of those girly-handshakes. I lose 50% respect. Phone Post 3.0

JustSaying - I usually change my opinion of a guy if he gives me one of those girly-handshakes. I lose 50% respect. Phone Post 3.0
On impact. Phone Post 3.0

JustSaying - 
JustSaying - I usually change my opinion of a guy if he gives me one of those girly-handshakes. I lose 50% respect. Phone Post 3.0
On impact. Phone Post 3.0


The one that pisses me off the most is when someone closes thier grip early only grabbing your finger thus turning you into a dainty princess. 



 



Mother fucker



 



You will get full contact with my masurbatory hand and fucking like it.

Dongbar13 -
Edelweiss - I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

 

Amazing haha.  Food or Pharma? got to be one of those with that level of contamination control. 

 

 


That is hilarious.

Nailed it -- pharmaceutical manufacturing. My official title is MHI (masturbatory hand inspector), but everyone just calls me "Sir", because I see jizm all over their knuckles and thenar space. "What's that? Oh, toilet paper is glued to the back of your hand? No worries, ya degenerate." P.s. gloves are mandatory, probably because of the number of guys coming in with spermed on jackoff hands.

I see stuff all over ladies hands as well, but that disgusts me more than anything. It's a different color too. Eff my life. Phone Post 3.0

Edelweiss -
Dongbar13 -
Edelweiss - I work in a facility where we have to visually inspect the hands of people that come in. We use a blue light as part of the inspection. Dudes come through all day long with jizz on their hands. It's so bad, that when I shake hands with someone, I know I'm getting a handful of their shame. Phone Post 3.0

 

Amazing haha.  Food or Pharma? got to be one of those with that level of contamination control. 

 

 


That is hilarious.

Nailed it -- pharmaceutical manufacturing. My official title is MHI (masturbatory hand inspector), but everyone just calls me "Sir", because I see jizm all over their knuckles and thenar space. "What's that? Oh, toilet paper is glued to the back of your hand? No worries, ya degenerate." P.s. gloves are mandatory, probably because of the number of guys coming in with spermed on jackoff hands.

I see stuff all over ladies hands as well, but that disgusts me more than anything. It's a different color too. Eff my life. Phone Post 3.0
I can only picture the shame on some of their faces haha Phone Post 3.0

Dongbar13 -


...I'm thinking to myself "I use this hand to masturbate." 



 



Every fucking time.



 



True story.

You need to pull them in during the handshake and whisper that into there ear. I feel they will respect your honesty and your bond will be stronger as you are sharing your self with them and being vulnerable. Please post results. Phone Post 3.0