Fear of hitting!

Something I havve devloped recently is a fear of hitting other people. I have accidentally hurt a few of my friends( I feel bad about htis). And another friend even yhad atlak with me about it. I really need to overcome this fast. I felt like my fighting abilities have grown so much lately. I have a fight soon so I need some help!

thank you in advance


This definitely interests me, because of 2 newbies I have. Until Tony arrives you can check out my thread on this forum: ATTN: Mr. Blauer. I ask him a very similar question.

BTW Mr. Blauer thanks for the advice. You were right. I have backed off a bit and tried making things a little fun. They are coming around. They are learning to realize that ugly faces SHOULD be hit! ;-)

Thanks again.


'I have accidentally hurt a few of my friends'


Screwing around? or going too hard in training?

There's a big difference. WHen you 'fight' th epoint is to inflict pain...

Remember, we all heal from a 'hurting' its the injuries that cause problems - so be sure to separate the 'hurting' from the 'injuring' and remember that playing with frinds is not the same as sparring with or fighting someone who is capable of 'returning fire'.


some of my training partners sort of made my sparring sessions self defense scenarios. I had to stop shortly after becasue of the intensity levelwas getting too high. It's kinda their fault too in a way, I just really hate hurting people i training, regardless of how it has happening. Now, I have a paranoa about this.


Welcome Aus.


WHen you say 'sparring sessions were self-defense sessions' do you mean that things got out of control or you were doing some sort of scenario training?

There's a big diff. and their are moral and legal responsibilities associated with both.

IN sparring, the need to 'defend yourself' is part of the game if you are pressed, actually its the ultimate expression of what we do. The difference though, is when you have people much less skiled than you, they often try a lot harder out of fear or frustration or even because they see you as so much better they feel they cant hurt you!!! All 'innocent' motivations in the big picture. So hurting a friend under those conditions does carry a moral price-tag [food for thought for many on this forum likely].

Now I have people in the ring when sparring turned ugly and I felt that I 'wanted' to defend myself...the conditions were clear to me and I had made them clear to the partner: i.e. "This is what we're doing today, lets stay within these parameters OK?" .

In other words the 'friend' had enough skill to decide what they would do or not do and if I felt that they were 'testing' or pushing things I would usually at the bell to a round or in a clinch remind them of our understanding...the next reminder involved Skinner-like communication.


The distinction was the clarity beforehand and the ability of the partner. If contact levels are made clear and someone exceeds the aggreement 'on purpose' then defending yourself is both natural and likely....REFLEXIVE!

Analyze this please.


will do! On of my partners, who no longer is with us, would try to blast me regardless and attempt to knock me out. But he suffered way too many injuries and cannot train any more( he would fight everyweekend if he could). Not that I mind being pressed but he thought you could do that everytime. I feel it should happen after a rest perioed. How do you feel about this?

Absolutely - overtraining leads to injuries and sluggishness which in-turn affects your ability to react/respond and protect yourself.


ok, I sparred yester day. I keep regressing! I had to fight of this overreaction to getting hit now. I am going to have to totally redevelop my training program now! I knew it would only be a matter of time before I would start having fear reactivity .


Tap This,

I'm half way through Coach Blauer's "Contact Sparring and Fear Control" video. It possess great drills in not only overcoming the fear of being hit, but countering and timing as well. If you don't already have this you should pick it up and give it a shot. It might cover some of your questions and anxieties.

Good Luck.


P.S. You're not alone!

Tap This, May I also recommend My "how not to get knocked out" video. Nothing builds and/or rebuilds confidence like a good defense. Peace, Tom p.s There is a special through Blauer Tactical right now for The above mentioned tape and Tony's great tape "Adv.Spear for MMA." Check it out good stuff!

I did some light sparring today. I have a fight tommorow. It was not too bad., I was hitting more and with control. My fear will not be too bad. I just could not get it right the last week or so. I would like to thank everyone who posted. I will have more time to deal with this after my fight.

I will try and pick up those tapes also.


Interestingly enough, I had a fight ( competition ) over the weekend. I was not afraid at all in this situation( eveno though once, I did get hit hard, I just smiled at my opponent).

However, I defintately have some questions about self defense. I will create a seperate post concernig this.