FRAT Warning - Aging parents

Hey all, hoping for some advice from the gurus of the OG and a couple laughs from the trolls that make up the remainder.

Not really sure where to start but I guess I'll hit the main points and go from there. My parents recently divorced and my father isn't taking it too well. He's only 68 but taught tennis for a living so he's also been forced into retirement due to his body being shot from 30 years on a tennis court so it's all kinda overwhelming him. On top of that my sister and her husband are broke and she's moved back into the house with her 3 kids and 4 dogs and I think it's just adding to his stress.

Anyway, that was for background. Lately he's been telling the same stories multiple times a day and week, and doesn't see things sometimes. The other day my mom came over (because she still does regularly for some reason) and he didn't even recognize the car she was driving. She's had the same car for 6 or 7 years. He's also been having mood swings and lashing out and doesn't seem to realize he's doing it. I've moving back home in the next couple weeks to help with the mortgage and try and get my sister and her family on their feet and outta the house but worried about what my father will do. I have a business degree but finding decent paying jobs in my hometown has been tough and not sure how long I'll be able to stay around on my savings before having to move to a city.

My question is, what jobs can a man going through the beginning stages of dementia do at 68 with only tennis teaching as experience? His social security isn't much and my mom is taking half his 401k and running and he's scared he's gonna run outta cash so he can't retire completely. He plays guitar as well and I've mentioned maybe teaching from home but everything just seems to overwhelm him. He's known for a year about this coming but hasn't applied anywhere and still hasn't. I'm kinda at a loss on how to help everyone.

FRAT: Dad is old and can't look after himself and got fired and doesn't seem able to find a job. Sister has a 3rd kid otw and can't find an at home job that isn't a scam and her husband doesn't make much as a floorer (yet). How do I help, what are some jobs an old man can do without many transferable skills in his current mental state?

Thank you all,

C

PS might head to bed soon but will defiantly check this in the morning.

Shoveling snow?

Not sure if there is a solution here btw just thought I'd pursue every Avenue for ideas including my OG brethren.

Thank you all!

What state? Most have programs to help with this type of situation. Maybe start with some research online

http://www.seniorjobbank.org/

The first thing you need to do is have him go see a physician and be evaluated. The physician can test for other possible issues before making a diagnosis of dementia.

If there is a diagnosis of early onset dementia, I probably wouldn't be too focused on trying to get your Dad back to work. I'd focus on the long-term plan of taking care of him as the dementia progresses.

Finally, the added stress of 3 kids and 4 dogs will more than likely exacerbate his anxiety.

Please take him to a doctor to be evaluated as soon as possible.

ABCTT_SENNIN - What state? Most have programs to help with this type of situation. Maybe start with some research online

http://www.seniorjobbank.org/
Florida, thank you sir will check it out.

WalMart Shoes - Why would anyone bring four dogs to someone else's house? That's rude.
Idk guess she's had them a while and didn't want to get rid of them.

moccaco - The first thing you need to do is have him go see a physician and be evaluated. The physician can test for other possible issues before making a diagnosis of dementia.

If there is a diagnosis of early onset dementia, I probably wouldn't be too focused on trying to get your Dad back to work. I'd focus on the long-term plan of taking care of him as the dementia progresses.

Finally, the added stress of 3 kids and 4 dogs will more than likely exacerbate his anxiety.

Please take him to a doctor to be evaluated as soon as possible.
Thanks will try. He's seeing a psychologist for the divorce but hasn't gotten anything else. Nobody has approached him yet about his difficulties I'm not sure he even realizes it. Unfortunately it seems to be left on me for when I'm back.

I'm sorry you're in this situation. 

It has to be rough. 

 

Get your sister and her dogs out unless they are pulling their weight. Im assuming his mortgage is low so I would tell dad and mom you're moving in and you will pay the mortgage and help with other stuff, maybe talk to your family about helping out.

Trane -
moccaco - The first thing you need to do is have him go see a physician and be evaluated. The physician can test for other possible issues before making a diagnosis of dementia.

If there is a diagnosis of early onset dementia, I probably wouldn't be too focused on trying to get your Dad back to work. I'd focus on the long-term plan of taking care of him as the dementia progresses.

Finally, the added stress of 3 kids and 4 dogs will more than likely exacerbate his anxiety.

Please take him to a doctor to be evaluated as soon as possible.

This.

Tell your sister and her husband to quit freeloading off of him, I'm sure they can come up with some monthly payments for his troubles.

He is in bad health, why should he hold the burden of taking care of not only himself but your sister's family and their dogs?

Looks to me like he's being taken advantage of and is expected to find work for himself while he's mentally ill. Some priorities need to be revised here.
They are paying some money I believe. It's strange because on one hand he says he needs help making the bills but on the other complains about anyone moving in to help.

Tim Duncan - Get your sister and her dogs out unless they are pulling their weight. Im assuming his mortgage is low so I would tell dad and mom you're moving in and you will pay the mortgage and help with other stuff, maybe talk to your family about helping out.
Thanks, that's the hope. I'm a single dude with no pets so he's repeatedly said he'd rather have me there and it's supposed to be temporary with my sister and her family to put some money together to get a place. They've never stayed longer than 6 months before so that's the hope. I've been applying to jobs the last couple days but I'm having trouble finding work as well unfortunately. It's the main reason I left the first time but I'm hopeful with some more work experience that I've gained over the last couple years I'll have more luck. Alternately, I'll have to work retail or be a waiter and do my best there. Worth it for family

Thank you all for the suggestions btw, this forum has helped me a couple times in the past. Much appreciated.

KickAssMcRad - AKA Idon't Portal -

I'm sorry you're in this situation. 

It has to be rough. 

 

 

If he is in the early stages of dementia make sure you get all his vital (Social Security, banking, pension, etc.) info before his mind is totally gone.......you might also think about putting your name on the banking/financial  accounts.....also make sure he's got a will and a trust prepared...it's shitty to think about, but your family will be better off if preparations are made now instead of waiting until the very end

Biggest issue is the potential dementia. May be simply brought on by extra stress, and then not sleeping, for example. He needs thorough investigation of that. You guys can work from there.

Sounds trite, but if you have hot yoga in your area, it can work wonders.