Fuck my life, dude. This depression is getting me.

Been on the road to recovery as an addict. I'm 20 years old. Coming close to 40 days clean. But here is my fucking problem, Everything can be going great, and all of a sudden I'll get really depressed, and it completly de-rails me. I get knocked off track. I haven't used. Life throws every curveball it can at you to challenge you through this shit. Every time I get back up, I get kicked in the balls again. It sucks. lol. I got a gym membership, got a bike with the little money I had left, and it fucking breaks. (root 12 is helping me though). I think I have extra money, so to make sure I don't have the option of relapsing I pay my gym membership a month ahead, broke. This morning, phone shut off because I forgot about a payment arrangement. I have 2 family members that support what I am going through, and although unintentional, I still find a way to make the one I'm staying with want me out. (I do pay rent here and am treated like a normal room mate) And I have no other options as far as places to live. 

I edited this because people were commenting about my attitude. What's fucking me is that my attitude is in the right place, but then these random fits of depression set in and I self destruct. It's frusterating. This isn't me, I was never depressed or suicidal. 

Venting done. Thanks for your time OG. 

frat

Be a fucking man and get you're act together. I would give you sympathy but you live in America, and you're probably white. Stop being a bitch and man the fuck up.

I guess I just need some motivation. Something to light a fire under my ass. OG'ers feel free to share you building back up from rock bottom. I know a lot of people have been in tougher situations. 

Seemore Butts - frat

Be a fucking man and get you're act together. I would give you sympathy but you live in America, and you're probably white. Stop being a bitch and man the fuck up.


I think being a bitch would be me just tossing this shit in the air, selling the little possesions I do have and going back to my old ways. Fuck off, dude. 

Most of us have fallen flat in our faces many, many times before finally getting our shit together. You are still very young. Knowing what you should be doing and having the drive to keep your shit straight is half the battle, and you sound like you are already there. Now you just have to keep after it. When you get knocked down, get right back up. Life is gonna throw some shit at you along the way.

Look up all the failures of Abraham Lincoln before he finally became successful. Phone Post 3.0

bro, I skimmed through this post. I also have seen some of your other posts.

All I can say is start today.

You are very young. Life isn't easy. Tackle each day and make good decisions. I would be much further in life had I realized I was fucking up at your age. Instead, I was 24 when my girl got pregnant and snapped out of it and straightened out. Now I have a great IT job and my prospects are good. Still working on things but next step is buying a house (30 now).


So, just take it a day at a time. The fact that you recognize are fucking up at your age in my mind puts you ahead of the game.

Get it together Tyrone. You got this.

Get new friends try church out the fellowship will help even if you dont believe your still welcome Phone Post

pillbottle - Most of us have fallen flat in our faces many, many times before finally getting our shit together. You are still very young. Knowing what you should be doing and having the drive to keep your shit straight is half the battle, and you sound like you are already there. Now you just have to keep after it. When you get knocked down, get right back up. Life is gonna throw some shit at you along the way.

Look up all the failures of Abraham Lincoln before he finally became successful. Phone Post 3.0


Will fucking do man. I appreciate that. 



When you're going through recovery, life just seems to throw every thing it can at you and really challenge you. You couldn't be more right. 

Oh one day when you're looking back
You were young and man you were sad
When you're young you get sad
When your young you get sad then you get high!!!!

Get a sponsor who is smart.
Share your problems and ask for help.
Maybe he can make you a spreadsheet and help you manage your finances.
Tell yourself every morning to make smart decisions, and then go about your day trying to do the right thing.
You are stronger than your problems if you ask for help. Phone Post 3.0

Set a goal with a deadline.
Start with one thing--you're obviously too all over the place right now to handle more than 1 issue, so just start 1 goal with a deadline--then build off of that and go from there.

NomoRomophobia - Get a sponsor who is smart.
Share your problems and ask for help.
Maybe he can make you a spreadsheet and help you manage your finances.
Tell yourself every morning to make smart decisions, and then go about your day trying to do the right thing.
You are stronger than your problems if you ask for help. Phone Post 3.0

Solid advice right here. VU

LittleJoeMama - Oh one day when you're looking back
You were young and man you were sad
When you're young you get sad
When your young you get sad then you get high!!!!


Yeah, I can't get high any more :( It literally solves nothing for me dude. 

Also, life isn't easy. Nothing will be handed to you. The one thing successful people will always tell you is that they had many failures along the way. You will to, so will I.

My favorite quote:

If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

Another quote, kinda hard to follow Churchill but it is a good one:

"Opportunity looks a lot like hard work." - I'll see if the OG can guess who said that.

what the others said...and

you need to change your attidude, fren
self pity wont get you anywhere

KidPittsburgh - Set a goal with a deadline.
Start with one thing--you're obviously too all over the place right now to handle more than 1 issue, so just start 1 goal with a deadline--then build off of that and go from there.


I future fuck the shit out of myself. it's a being contribution in me being my own worst enemy. 

Begin meditation for stress.It works.As for the rest of your problems,it seems you realize you're heading down the wrong path at an early age.This is a good thing.

Go hang out with some homeless people for a few days and see if that lifestyle suits you.If it doesn't,that should provide all the incentive you need to get your head right.

First of all you are not a shitty person!  I know this is hard for you mate but you have to look at the positives! When you are depressed and you get knocked back it does seem like the end of the world because every little thing is exaggerated x 1000!  We all fuck up, you are still young son! We all stumble through life making stupid mistakes, missing bills here, getting fucked over there, that's sometimes how you learn.  The depression bit is really hard my girlfriend suffers from depression and she says exactly what you do about hurting the people around her and you have to understand that aslong as the people around you understand what you are going through, they will support you. 

There are people on here helping you, and you will find others along the way that will help you just don't give up fighting and thinking positive. I know it's easier said than done but you should be proud that you have manged to see where your problems are, and are trying positive steps to make yourlife better. 

Much respect to you.. things will get better.. 

NomoRomophobia - Get a sponsor who is smart.
Share your problems and ask for help.
Maybe he can make you a spreadsheet and help you manage your finances.
Tell yourself every morning to make smart decisions, and then go about your day trying to do the right thing.
You are stronger than your problems if you ask for help. Phone Post 3.0


Going to have to start working on this. My decision making is shit though. If it makes any sense, I never feel bad making a shitty decision, it's impulsive. But I feel bad later that I didn't feel bad when I was doing it. 



 


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