funny gas station story

I have a part time job at Hy Vee fuel station. last weekend during a mega rush on friday night these adults and kids were riding around in shopping carts with a video camera. I went outside to ask them to leave. They were like no its cool, were on a scavenger hunt. I was like, i dont care, your loitering and we are busy. They bought .10 cents in gas and then came in to get the reciept. They had a video camera and were trying to get my attention. In the midst of about 10 people in line.

'Can we put you on camera ?'

'Sure' hoping they would leave.

'talk to the camera'

'Im one of those jerk clerks that you see in movies and tv'.

'tee hee'''

continues trying to get rid of all paying customers.

'Can we come behind the register'

'If you come behind the register, your going to have a violent incident on your hands'

I get a look like I should be ashamed. Im baffled at this point as to what these rude people are doing.

'Can we give you a hug ?'


Fast forward. A girl comes in tonight and says, hey your the guy we saw at church on the video. Im like What ? Oh my church had a scavenger hunt and the whole church was laughing at you. They werent sure whether you were kidding or not...........

One of these rude seeker friendly churches thinking theyve got special rights to act like idiots. WWJD ?


did you tell her that there is no rapture?



That's what they were scavenging for... people who they didn't think would be raptured.

for some odd reason I am constantly bombarded by people from these new mega/seeker friendly churches who think Im a pure pagan. Funny.

It is interesting to see how people on the outside are treated. Not very well over all.

i had one guy recently during this outbreak of people 'witnessing' to me. just come up at the gym and ask me if I was saved. I was like, what do you mean by that ? he looked baffled. 'do you believe jesus is the son of god'. 'What do you mean by that ?' do you believe the bible is the word of God ? 'what do you mean ?' etc. completely weak.

same conversation at school where Im the only non church goer in my dept. They dont even understand my questions. I just take it as entertainment.

Yeah its kind of fun to play the role of heathen and see things from the outside. It has taught me to see things from a non-believer perspective. A lot of Christians treat non-Christians as if they were part of an alien race. They forget normal protocols of behavior. Pretending to be nice for the sake of witnessing just smacks of insincerity.

So what was a person supposed to do post-Rapture? I imagine landing the plane would be the first order of business if the pilot and co-pilot were raptured. It would really suck if you were being operated on and the whole surgical team was raptured. I don't think too many people have to worry about losing their high priced lawyer in the middle of a court case at least.

Id like to write a novella/comedy about working in a gas station. Its like this collision of humanity. No one is immune from buying gas. I have so many funny stories.

Memoirs of a gas station clerk

Jesus pumps gas on 58 highway

any ideas ?

btw, Id be happy for most of the people to be raptured. Id have a little more sanity. :)

speaking of airplanes. I learned the other day that the london would be bombers were going to blow up the flight that I always took home from london. 16:50 heathrow to chicago. And last year I left london one day before the bus bombs. neat.

I ran a gas station for 6 years. I will share some stories tommorow. You will love them.

there is this one girl I call lucky that is about 100 pounds and has these huge breast implants and wears a sting top. I have had hours of laughs at her expense. And the other night a Freaking Clown came in. all dressed up in shoes and stuff. I started giving him a bunch of grief and asked if he was related to john wayne gayce. hahaha. he didnt like that.

Oh and another one .....a retarded couple came in and wanted to buy tampons. I took me 10 minutes to get them out of the store. Ill try and fill in later haha.