Funny Shit, or BJJ hate?

Jiu-jitsu habits I just can't stand
I'm not hating on jiu-jitsu in general, but having spent over 30 years in judo and misspent too much of my youth in actual fights, there are two things in jiu-jitsu that just have the effect on me of fingernails scraping across the chalk board. I realize that these habits are just as legal in jiu-jitsu as those pants the curling team from Norway wore in the Olympics and I am against both for the same reason - I'm pretty sure they will get your ass kicked if you try them out in the street.

(And yes, those are their actual uniforms and they won a silver medal and you didn't. The team, not the pants.)

One thing that irritates the hell out of me is what they call jumping guard. When I saw this in a grappling tournament, I turned to my friend and said,

"What the hell is that? Why doesn't the other guy just drive his head into the mat?"

and he told me there was a rule against it. This is NOT a "judo is cool, BJJ sucks" post, because believe me I know that judo has its own share of stupid rules, starting with the fact that if you grab a guy's legs, pick him three feet off the ground and slam him hard on his back you lose because you touched his pants with your hands. All that aside, doing a move where the only reason you don't get your ass kicked is that there is a rule against it is irritating. Notice that in mixed martial arts you don't see people do this move because there isn't any rule against driving your stupid head into the mat. You don't see people do it in judo because there is a rule against jumping guard, too. Judo keeps adding rules against everything. One day, we'll only be allowed to indicate with our eyes the directions we would move to throw the person if we were allowed to touch him. I won't even be surprised when this happens.

The second thing that irritates me is that lately when I watch jiu-jitsu people do matwork 100% of them start the same way, on their back. People in JJ tell me this is because it is the easiest position to defend.

Again, I understand this is true according to jiu-jitsu rules. (The alternate explanation, that 100% of the people I have watched lately are stupid, seems rather implausible.)

However, if you have ever been in an actual fight, or even watched one, you realize it doesn't go like this:

1.Guy X insults Guy Y's girlfriend, mother and/or masculinity.
2.Guy Y calls Guy X outside to the parking lot to see whose girlfriend/ mother / masculinity is the real #%^&&(!
3.Out in the parking lot, Guy X falls on his back and yells, "Come on, sucker!"
In fact, laying on your back is a VERY piss-poor position to defend from getting kicked in the face, hit with a two-by-four, jumped on or even being urinated on by your opponent (speaking of piss).

Rant off. For today. Tomorrow, in the interest of fairness, I think I'll ramble on about stupid judo things that irritate me.

oh yeah, I did not write this but I think it is funny.

Bjj pulling gaurd load of bollocks!
Judo leg grap rule load of bollocks! Phone Post

Ah. The chick meeting her boyfriend at the airport move. :)

(I have nothing against BJJ. ) Phone Post

i also hate jumping guard.....

i had a guy do that to me expecting us to hit the mat, and i stood there, looking at him like a moron. and told him to get off. he evenutally sub'd me about a dozen times on the ground, but my TD/TD defense isn't too bad, and i like to use it to control where the ground position starts.....

so yeah, i agree.

I started as a bjj guy but hate the pulling of guard you see in practice all the time. I think there are times and places for it but not to the extent it is used. Worked out at a new school while out of town recently and only one person would try to exchange tds. Everyone else buttflopped. It was very disappointing.

I am a judo guys who also trains in BJJ. It irritates me when people pulls guard but not as much as when they jump guard! As far as sitting on their butts, I have no problem in dealing with it.
Judo and BJJ in my school is one program. We do 50/50 most of times. When there is a judo tournament we focus on judo when there is a BJJ or Grappling tournament ahead we focus on these styles and on their rules.
Since we are a combination of Judo and BJJ I try to accommodate the needs for both arts so from time to time we do an inter-club tournament where the scores are as follow:
Ippon= 4 points the match continue for 5 min.
Wazari=3 points (the match will continue regardless of the numbers of wazaris)
yuko =2 points
Koka =1 point (yes we score koka)
pulling or jumping guard = - 2 points (minus)
passing guard = 3 points
mount = 4 points
knee on belly = 4 points
take the back = 2 points w/hooks 4 points
Submissions = instant win
Pinning for 25 sec. = advantage point no score for moving to other pinning position unless it is a mount position.
if someone picks you up while you attempt and arm bar from the guard the match is restarted with both competitors on their feet. (in a street you would be slammed on your head but you could also brake your opponent's arm in the process)
No ankle, wrist, leg/knee locks or neck cranks yet.
Everyone loves this tournament. It gives everyone a fair and square chance to win regardless of their preference (standing or ground)
Just to be clear, there are a lot of things that irritates me in Judo as well.

Judo is what I enjoy doing but when I am fighting a bjj guy who has a good bottom guard it is "hell" getting past the guard and you are succeptible to an arm bar. Each has their nuances. The dynamic of judo is awesome to watch. I hate the negative gripping. I did BJJ for 8 years so I learned to fight off my back. I don't care for pulling guard. One thing for sure is judo doesn't have to worried about BJJ taking over in the judo world. The world class reach of judo to all countries and what it takes to be a world class ranked judo athlete with all the international competitions is what sets it apart.