gf non christian.. advice..

my long time gilfriend isnt a christian.. she believes in a god but hasnt "commited" to a specific religion.. seeing as how her mom is 100 percent japanese (budhist. sp) and her dad is 100 percent iranian (muslim).. but she shares a lot of the same morals as christians... or a lot of the morals the bible teaches i should say.. and wants to go to church with me. for the first time in her life. im not quite sure how to approach this.. im greatful she is interested in christianity but im afraid to "throw her into the mix" too quickly.. and i dont want to try to explain too much at once. the bible has a lot of concepts that would be hard for someone to believe in as an adult.. after not believing in it her entire life. im thinkin it might be best to sit down and kind of explain christianity myself to her and go over the bible.. which ive read and am pretty educated on.. anyone else been through a situation similar to this..? or have adive on how to approach this and introduce her to the bible? i dont want to come across like im forcing anything on her but at the same time. being a christian and feeling like id be "saving" her by helping her learn about jesus etc.. id ultimately love for her to become a christian. thanks a lot for any responses.



Buy her the book, "Captivating" by John Eldredge. I've given that book to several women, and each one told me they wept while reading it.


I am afraid this is one of those situations that is very difficult but ultimately you have to set your priorities because it would not be appropriate for you to marry this girl if she is not a Christian and it wouldn't be appropriate for her to become a Christian for the sake of marrying you.  I know those are hard words to swallow but I speak from the painful experience of dating a Mormon girl in high school and eventually going our separate ways for no other reason but our respective faiths.

I think this is part of what Jesus meant about "hating your mother and father for my sake" i.e. even the best of human relationships can't take precedence over our relationship with God.

The problem with conversion dating is that a lot of the emotional aspects of the relationship get wrapped up in making a decision which should not have your relationship as a factor.  Your girlfriend can't become a Christian just for the sake of you staying together anymore than you could repent and become a Christian on the condition that you will be allowed to see a dead relative in heaven if you do. 

I wouldn't even say anything if I hadn't gone through it myself but I don't think people who are of different faiths should get married and it is especially an issue when children come along.  Now so long as you are just dating its not a huge issue but on the other hand you just make it harder on yourself if ultimately you get more and more serious but she has no desire to become a Christian.  And also in your heart you have to want her to become a Christian more than you want her to be with you so you would desire her conversion even if it meant her dumping you the next day.

I am sure the Rev would have some good advice for you on this subject as well.  I am sure you could email him but he might answer your question on here first. 

LOL not quite.

don't date out of the faith. Now since you have, you must seriously talk with her about your beliefs, children, etc. and what you both expect.


looks back in to see why everyone is not running

When I broke up with my Mormon girlfriend (we really liked each other and probably would have gotten married at some point) it was very difficult but whether or not it was the right choice wasn't even an issue.  I can't even imagine now if we had tried to be married with two separate faiths and then tried to deal with the issue of how to raise children on top of that. 

When marriage finally comes into the picture you want as many things going for you statistically as you can.  Religion is a big one in terms of the marriage surviving.  Staying married is hard enough without adding to the pile of strife. 

Yup, read it about 5 times. That and Waking the Dead are great. His others are just OK, but "Wild at Heart", "Captivating", and "Raising the Dead" are truly inspired.

For the record, I disagree with the leaving her because she's not Christian idea. Follow your heart on this one. Not your emotions, but your heart. They seem the same but they're not. There may be a reason for you two to be together that's beyond any of us. But don't make her a 'conversion mission' either, that's not right.

Who said to leave her?  I only warned about conversion dating and the issue of marriage.  Dating is fine but if it gets more serious it can cause big problems in the future. 

Just giving my opinion Brother, I'm not attacking you.

I don't see it as an attack at all, I just wanted to make sure it was clear to qazzaq that I wasn't suggesting he call her up and dump her.

What are your thoughts on people from different faiths getting married though?

I honestly don't see a problem with people of different Faith's getting married. To me, it's much more about the content of your heart than any particular Faith. I see a huge commonality in all of the major religions. I've read a lot of Buddhism, and the ideas of how we are suppoesed to act toward each other and towards Him are very similar (almost identical) to what Christ taught. Taoism seems to try to create a direct realtionship with Him, and reminds me of the prayer. "Let me worship not what I think You are, but what You know Yourself to be." And of course, we all know that Jews, Christians, and Muslims worship the God of Abraham.

I honestly don't know how He reveals Himself to others, only that He revealed Himself to me through Christ. I wont judge or make decisions based on how He reveals Himself to others. What's important to me in a realtionship is that my partner love Him with all their heart, however they conceive Him to be. I think religion is simply a map, and I'm more interested in the actual journey.

And many people do MASK. My only answer is that I was not called to convert. I was given a different job to do. I don't know how He speaks to you, or anybody else, only how He speaks to me, so I have no opinion or make no judgement on anyone else's relationship with Him.

What are you trying to convince me of Brother? Or is it just important to you that I agree with you?

Well, I don't think I'm saved. I'm not even sure what that term means. I was raised Catholic, and I'm finding out that really is where I belong. It's home.

I AM a Christian, and for me there is no other path. That's different from saying there is no other path though. As I've said, I don't know and I leave it as that. If anyone wants to talk about Christianity, I'm happy to share my story. Other than that I simply try to love my neighbor.

ringworm haha.. no pics but strange enough. she looks caucasion (sp)

thanks for the responses everyone.

ridgeback the longer we go out the more i think about it.. if she was an aetheist thatd be too much but she belives in "a god" and basically shares the same values jesus teaches.. as far as how to live your life etc.. and is interested in christianity (not just for my sake) so its hard to end somethin when her becomming a christian isnt out of the question..

h20 yeah i definately dont want to make her a "conversion mission" as you called it.. im tryin to be realistic and definately dont want to expect her to become a christian or anything like that. but i agree with you on people of seperate faiths and marriage, but im also aware of what the bible says regarding this. and thanks for the recommendation of the book

H20 Dragon,

I am curious if you have ever read the Catechism of the Catholic Church through or perused the site ? 


For me the marriage and faith issue is a practical matter.  In order for a marriage to beat the odds and last these days it should have everything working in its favor possible and this includes sharing the same faith.  If your faith or world view determines how and why you do things it makes sense to share that underlying motivation with the person you are going to build a life with. 

convert to buddhism