girl buying advice

I have to buy a girl this weekend. Budget is anywhere from $500-1000. 

Looking at:


mail order

wife's sorority sisters


any suggestions?

The free ones come with cocks.

They also cum with cocks.


The one that doesnt have to talk?

You're WAY over budget for your wife's sorority sisters. A few four-packs of wine coolers & a backyard hot tub will have then naked, making out with each other, and asking "When does the football team get here?"

For a grand I'll put on a dress

^ christ. i make one mistake abd never hear the end of it