Give Me Your Best Dad Joke!!

I’ll Start…

When the doctor told me there was a cure for dyslexia,

It was music to my arse.

Now you go! Yaay!

3 Likes

It's your baby! 

1 Like
DaveFu - 

It's your baby! 

lol! youre a fuckin freak and I love you long time for it!

1 Like

What did the fish say when it hit a wall?

Dam!

2 Likes
Lurker99 - What did the fish say when it hit a wall?

Dam!

Thats fucking great!

1 Like

I used to live next door to an abbatoir.

My view was just offal.

2 Likes

Back in my younger days i was into sado masochism, necrophilia and bestiality.

I gave it up when I realised I was just flogging a dead horse.

2 Likes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A Fsh

(it’s better spoken than written)

2 Likes

what is whitney houston's favorite type of cordination?

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HAAAANNNDDDD EEYYYYYYEEEEEEE

9 Likes
Pretjah - 

what is whitney houston's favorite type of cordination?

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HAAAANNNDDDD EEYYYYYYEEEEEEE

lol, i told this one the other week. It works if you REALLLY sell the delivery at the top of your lungs.

6 Likes

what is still blue but not as heavy as regular blue paint?

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light blue paint

1 Like

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

biting into an apple and finding half of a worm!!!!

but what's worse than that??

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getting raped

1 Like

what's brown and sticky

 

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a stick

1 Like

what is blue and smells like red paint?

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blue paint

1 Like

Pretjah,

What’s the only thing worse than 911?

311

1 Like

"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"

7 Likes

Whats black, white, and read all over?

A newspaper.

Whats green, slimy, and smells like a pig?

Kermitt’s finger.

2 Likes

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it

1 Like

I Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

1 Like

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

1 Like