Giving a motivational speech next week. Help?!

I was asked to give a local high school a speech to kick off their year and supposedly motivate them.
Any pointers or witty one liners so I dont get booed off the stage by a bunch of hipster cutters? Phone Post

fuck you and fuck your elbow!

Mihow - show them your fucking door idiot and walk off the stage like the motherfucking boss you are

This and maybe pics of the wife but she better not be blocking the view of the door.

Propranolol.

Its a low risk drug that the majority of pub speakers take (rumored). Phone Post

Should I walk on stage with it strapped to my back ala Kimo? Phone Post

"Be careful about what you post online."






j/k kind of

AdamVMMA - PM me your contact info. I speak frequently. Phone Post 3.0

On phone will do tomorrow Phone Post

Severnsmustache - 

I was asked to give a local high school a speech to kick off their year and supposedly motivate them.
Any pointers or witty one liners so I dont get booed off the stage by a bunch of hipster cutters? Phone Post



self deprecating humour; tell them about what and where you fucked up royally, and that it's all life lessons at the end of the day.



Also, tell 'em it doesn't matter if you fuck up in high school, you can always 'succeed' with perserverance, blah, blah .. but it's a lot easier if you don't fuck up in high school!

They can smell bullshit.  Speak bluntly about the realities.  You have the chance to give a speech that the parents will like, or that some kids may actually hear. 

cbia - "Be careful about what you post online."






j/k kind of

Smart ass!

I have to email you something on Monday. Your logo was in a national magazine:) Phone Post

Door and tits motivate any man.

Severnsmustache - 
cbia - "Be careful about what you post online."






j/k kind of

Smart ass!

I have to email you something on Monday. Your logo was in a national magazine:) Phone Post


Really? That is cool.

You need to tell them that if they don't listen to what you have to say, they will end up LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

Life is all about making the right choices.

 

Open the wrong door and you're fucked.

cbia -
Severnsmustache - 
cbia - "Be careful about what you post online."






j/k kind of

Smart ass!

I have to email you something on Monday. Your logo was in a national magazine:) Phone Post


Really? That is cool.

Yep. Its getting framed and put in my office as well.
Thanks again! Phone Post

try to talk like you talking to someone.
Not like you're reading to someone.
A lot of people that give speeches sound fucking horrible bc they talk like they're reading or talking from something they memorized.

And whatever you do, do NOT wear underwear. Phone Post 3.0

judomf -
Severnsmustache - 

I was asked to give a local high school a speech to kick off their year and supposedly motivate them.
Any pointers or witty one liners so I dont get booed off the stage by a bunch of hipster cutters? Phone Post



self deprecating humour; tell them about what and where you fucked up royally, and that it's all life lessons at the end of the day.



Also, tell 'em it doesn't matter if you fuck up in high school, you can always 'succeed' with perserverance, blah, blah .. but it's a lot easier if you don't fuck up in high school!

I agree with this guy. Kids are smart these days so dont try to bullshit. Just tell them how you made good and almost made bad and I'm sure they'll respect you for it Phone Post 3.0

drop some OG slogans in the speech Phone Post 3.0

Tell them you get to fly mother fuckin helicopters ! That would get me pumped. Phone Post 3.0

Fighting -

lol Phone Post