Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that stupid little song?
Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
If the "black box" flight recorder (which is really painted RED) is rarely ever damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If most car accidents statistically occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
Why do banks charge you a "non sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
there were a whole ton of these and i forgot them all except for: why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
then of course we had the other type:
if yoko ono married sonny bono, she would be called yoko ono bono
don't remember the rest.
"Why do banks charge you a "non sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?"
damn straight! highway robbery!!!!
i add one in the vein of "Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?"
why do you hit the elevator button repeatedly if it's hit already? to make it get to your floor faster?
dupe
Thanks guys for keeping this going. But what? no more chicks? J.M.
The definition of krabi krabong as used by the teachers translates as sword length and spear length or short and long since the dynamic of the weapons training goes from a single knife or sickle up to long spears or halberds. The general course of study is in the nine traditional short and long weapons though it increases to upwards of 15 or more weapons depending on the length of study and the school. The division further breaks down into protective weapons, attack weapons and projectile weapons. The name Krabi Krabong is a name that came to be used in the 20th century alot of the older masters do not refer to it as that but by older names like pahuyuth which has many more elements to them. What makes the fighting system unique is the fury of which the weapons work in harmony with the body's natural nine weapons(head, feet, elbows, hands, elbows).
The teaching methods are further delineated by what is focused on combative use, ceremonial/theatrical use and/or meditative. Some schools combine various elements or are known for certain aspects.
There are distinct schools like the buddhai sawan , the mon school, ayutthaya school, the southern school, the central school. The buddhai sawan school is more of a ceremonial school where the southern school is more combative all the schools generally have a mix.
I think this best sums up the approach though, "The thai martial arts embody these emotions at their center but contain many complex movements requiring grace, agility and skill. Though based only on a few tenets--such as power, speed and simplicity--the art utilizes its techniques in combinations and variations of which there are endless permutations. The goal being the immediate, natural response to an attack with quick, decisive strikes to incapacitate expendiently."
Visit dog brothers martial arts, at www.dogbrothers.com to see how Arlan "salty dog" Sanford has been succcessful in integrating krabi krabong especially the half beat insertion of kicks, punches etc into his full contact stickfighting. Their tapes are worth investing in especially if you are training in kali.
further resources to be checked:
http://www.pahuyuth.de
It is not my website, it comes out of Germany. Pahuyuth refers to the old way of practicing with a multidimensional approach.
www.muaythaionline.net they have a section on krabi krabong
www.usmta.com
go to the weapons section
here's one for the ladies (sorry about the formatting):
Dear Tech Support,
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began
unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Poker night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
Sunday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am
thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not
work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!!
Thanks,
Joe
Dear Joe,
This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within
your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing
is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed
to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support."
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must
assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur,
regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter
the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately
you will have to give the APOLOGIES command before the operating
system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as
you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider
buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I
recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt
3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to
cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.
Daaaam!
That's some serious moose knuckle on ole wickedweasel!
Now that's what I'm talken about. J.M.
First...Thanks for the pics.
Now...If Ellen Barkin married Alan Arkin you'd have Ellen and Alan Arkin-barkin. lol
Taku.
Hey Ern-Dpg Keep doin what your doin. J.M.
Subject: BLOOPERS
Some of the past boners heard at the sporting events:
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator: "This is
Gregoriava from Bulgaria... I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing."
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "She is really a
lovely filly , I once rode her mother."
Murray Walker: "The lead car is absolutely unique,
except for the one behind it which is identical."
Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father."
Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths
in boxing -- but none of them serious."
Terry Venables: "If history repeats itself, I should
think we can expect the same thing again"
Ron Atkinson: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition
doesn't like it...you can see it all over their
faces."
Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race: "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing
the cox of the Oxford crew."
Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics: "There goes
Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs
and showing his class."
US TV commentator: "One of the reasons Arnold Palmer
is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his
wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God,
what have I just said?"
Blow job Etiquette
( By a woman )
(on the bottom by A man)
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated
to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one,
be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the
top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is
NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's
"hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel
like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have
worked on high school girls- if your that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic
hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch
TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain
about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth
shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get
up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".
A Man's Rebuttal
(by A man)
1. First of all, yes you are obligated to
do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream
is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
3. You want to talk about farting? does the
word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be
thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5. When you're on period, stuffing
something in
your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning.
Suck it up.
6. Speaking of which, if are bleeding for
five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
7. You bitch about the taste , but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at
it, we've had better.
11. Caress the ass, too. WE like that.
12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's
"wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I
gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
13. I If you swallow, then you don't have
to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
Now if you laughed at this and you want to brighten someones day send this to as many people as you can!!!!!!!!! :)
Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they
have
sex in the dark. Hoping to free her
husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped
on
the lamp -- only to discover a
cucumber in his hand.
"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 5 years!?!"
"Honey, let me explain!"
"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "maybe you'd care to explain our 3 kids!!!"
The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another
city.
When she returned, her little boy
greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in
the
closet in your bedroom and daddy
came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and
got
into your bed and then daddy got
on top of her..."
Sonny's mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your
father
comes home and then I want you to
tell him exactly what you've just told me."
The father came home. As he walked into the house, his wife said, "I'm
leaving you. I'm packing now and I'm
leaving you."
"But why--" asked the startled father.
"Go ahead, Sonny. Tell daddy just what you told me."
"Well," Sonny said, "I was playing in your bedroom closet and daddy
came
upstairs with the lady next door and
they got undressed and got into bed and daddy got on top of her and
then
they did just what you did with uncle
John when daddy was away last summer."
Grandpa was watching his grandson play out in the back yard one sunny
afternoon. Tommy was playing in the
dirt, when a worm poked its little head out, Tommy picked up the worm
and
started playing with it.
Just for the fun of it Grandpa said to Tommy "I'll give you five
dollars if
you can get that worm back into the
hole." Tommy thought and thought, then suddenly he went into the house
and
came out with his mothers hair
spray. He sprayed the worm and when it got stiff tommy stuck it back
into
the hole. Grandpa said "nice job
Tommy" and gave him five dollars.
The next morning at breakfast Grandpa reached over and gave Tommy a
Five
dollar bill. Tommy said to
Grandpa " but grandpa you gave me the five dollars yesterday" Grandpa
said
"Oh no Tommy this isn't from me,
it's from your Grandma."
Shitty Aftertaste
O.K., this couple had been married for over twenty years, and every
year, on the opening day of hunting season, the husband had
always awaken at 5:00 a.m. and went hunting. One year, the nite
before he went hunting, the wife said to the husband, "Every year on
this day you always get ready to leave for a hunting excurtion. Why
don't you ever bring me?" And the husband responded, "Well, it's
real cold, real early, and you won't want to come. Your complaining
would drive the deer away."
"But dear, I WANT TO GO WITH YOU THIS YEAR!!!"
"Fine, but I'm warning you!!!"
The next morning, the husband awoke his wife at 5:00. He rolled
and shook her. "Get up, its hunting time!" The wife said, "Oh, but its
too early!" "Tough Shit" he said, get out of bed, now!" She got out of
bed, "Fine." she said, looked out the window and uttered, "Oh, my
gawd! It's snowing out! I don't want to go!"
"Fine." commented the husband, "If you don't want to go, you either
have to suck my cock, or let me fuck you in the ass... Which will it
be??? She thought it over and soon got on her knees and began to
suck away. Moments later, she pulled his shlong out and
screamed,"EEEWWWW!!!!!! THIS THING TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!!"
"Yeah, I know..." He replied. "The dog didnt want to go either!!!"
A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes
into the wife's business end. Naturally enough, she panics.
The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her,
pull up
his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the
doctor.
The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to
remove
with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and
entice
it
out by putting honey on his dick and withdrawing as soon as he feels
the
wasp.
And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and
his
frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise
to the
occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and
wife don't object. Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any
damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and
instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife.
Only
he
doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigour.
The husband shouts, "What the hell's happening?"
To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan... I'm gonna drown the
bastard!!"
I just wish I could get away with it from work :^(
ok,this is atest on posting pics hope it works
didnt work. How do you guys do it.