We have a handful of students who hit on every girl who walks through the door and in some cases existing students. If they are successful the relationship sours after 3-6 months and we generally lose the female student. It can be frustrating from a financial stand point because of the lost revenue. Also if you put effort in to someone and develop a relationship with them you would like to see them stick around. Is the gym owner in a position to tell them to find another hunting ground? I am not the gym owner.
In my TKD days there was a no teammates dating policy. Now-a-days people would shout that it's the money-hungry master trying to control peoples lives by telling them who they can and can't date, but we never had those problems.
What happens outside of the doors, you can't control. Just as you can't prevent two guys from becoming good friends, you can't prevent two people from dating, but what you can do is lay down rules for appropriate in class behavior. 
I think two consenting adults should be free to do as they please. I understand where you are coming from but I don't think dictating other people's realities is good form.
Randy, do you have anymore of those patches or T's with the skeleton in the gi is riding a tube? I'd like to purchase one. 
Keep the flirting out of the gym. It makes the broads uncomfortable enough to wrestle: add guys hitting on them, and its a recipe to keep them all out.
I've been watching this white belt hit on a girl in class for the last month. It really irks me. Just leave her alone already.
If an instructor tried to tell me who I can date then I would tell them that have lost me as a student. I understand how an instructor would want to reduce the drama and keep their students, but there are many things beyond our control in life.
IDK what it is, but whenever I'm soaked with sweat wearing pajamas and smell like other sweaty men, I just don't feel on my A-game
I used to be that guy. I would never hit on them at the gym, in fact I did my best to avoid being creepy as I'd observed them getting hit on repeatedly by other academy members but somehow I would end up sleeping with most of the attractive (single) ones. Eventually things would deteriorate and they would sometimes stay sometimes stop training. If my instructor had asked me I would've not done it anymore out of respect for him and them gym. It was often nice to be involved with a girl with a similar interest, especially as much as I loved jiujitsu
Why not just be honest and explain your position? Sure you cannot tell adults what to do, but if its out of control you can simply tell your students "listen, I can't tell you what to do, but something that I'm concerned about is driving students away/losing students if things go sour....etc..."
I find with most things, if you approach grown ups in a mature and open way, the response is usually good. If its not, and they don't understand your view point, then at least you made your position clear.
I agree that ultimately you can't tell people who to date, BUT I agree it's usually bad for the cohesiveness of a school if people are dating.
It's true that when they break up, the girl usually quits.
Join a crossfit gym if you're looking to fuck a girl in a fitness setting
It's also annoying for all of us to watch you act like you got game
I don't think guys should directly hit on girls on the mat, but if people become friends and hang out outside of class, then that's pretty normal. With as much as some of us train, it's not atypical to become interested in or attracted to people that you spend a huge amount of time with.
I don't have a problem with teammates dating each other.
However, if there's a student who is approaching romantic relationships irresponsibly and thus causing students to leave the school or quit jiu jitsu entirely, then that's a serious problem that should be dealt with. If there was a specific person who was repeatedly acting that way, I would ask him to leave the school and train elsewhere.
It'd be no different than some crazy student hurting other students and causing them to leave. The bottom line is, the student is disrupting the training environment.
"I don't have a problem with teammates dating each other."
Agreed 100%
However, if there's a student who is approaching romantic relationships irresponsibly and thus causing students to leave the school or quit jiu jitsu entirely, then that's a serious problem that should be dealt with. If there was a specific person who was repeatedly acting that way, I would ask him to leave the school and train elsewhere.
It is the same handful of guys every time. In some cases they have hit on married women. In one case it was a married woman who had a husband train at the school as well. Bringing married people in to the equasion makes it even more disruptive obviously.
It'd be no different than some crazy student hurting other students and causing them to leave. The bottom line is, the student is disrupting the training environment.
Spot on again imho...
shen -
I agree that ultimately you can't tell people who to date, BUT I agree it's usually bad for the cohesiveness of a school if people are dating.
It's true that when they break up, the girl usually quits.
So basically you just have to put up with it?
i should have added, the gym owner is definitely in a position to tell students to find a different training environment.
when a student acts inappropriately, hurts other students, or is generally disruptive to the training environment, then my instructor will usually have a few serious conversations about the issue and see how they can resolve it. if the student can't stop whatever it is they're doing, then my instructor refunds them their money and recommends a nearby school. I 100% agree with doing this every time. no student's money is worth letting them take away somebody's chance to train in a safe and family-friendly environment.
you don't always have to refund them their money (might depend on how the contracts work), but there's no reason why a school should tolerate a student who is ruining the jiu jitsu experience for others.
It's going to happen.
Perhaps speak to the senior woman at the club and ask her thoughts on the subject?
If there was a guy going through the white belts we would probably give the new girls a heads up in the change room. "Hey look out for that guy he likes to rack up the numbers". Feel free to come to us if you feel he is out of line.
If a new girl mentioned it to us we would flat out tell him to lay off.
If he tries and strikes out no harm no foul and we have one more girl to add to our growing numbers.
Honestly once you get 5 or more of us we pretty much take care of each other in these kinds of situations.
However flirtling while rolling is not ever acceptable. Take care of that right away. Its just creepy.
Randy Marsh -shen -
I agree that ultimately you can't tell people who to date, BUT I agree it's usually bad for the cohesiveness of a school if people are dating.
It's true that when they break up, the girl usually quits.
So basically you just have to put up with it?
Well, a teacher can make a rule "no one can date anyone" but that seems a little bit out of his control. I agree it's a good idea to DISCOURAGE dating within the dojo, as it can be very disruptive, but in some cases you aren't going to stop it. It's in the same category as dating at work. Not a good idea, but hard to control.
checkuroil - Join a crossfit gym if you're looking to fuck a girl in a fitness settingVTFU. Hahaha I laughed very hard at this.
It's also annoying for all of us to watch you act like you got game