That's right! I passed a very rigorous entry exam and talent filled initial entry field and CAME OUT ON TOP as TheGarv.com's NEWEST MMA News Correspondant!
Sure, sure, sure, it was long overdue, why did I settle on a low paying site such as TheGarv.com but I have proven I will go to any lengths to get inside, behind the scene details, my gift of gab not only lends comedy to the obvious but most importantly I am open minded and want to be The Correspondent FOR YOU.
I'll be impossible for me to resist my Gonzo style of journalistic writing, in the dearly departed writing style of my true mentor Hunter. S. Thompson, but I cannot succeed at this job WITHOUT YOU.
Sure, I could PRETEND to be a MMA know-it-all like the guys at Sherdog, or the cutting edge pseudo-humoristic type of CagePotatoes.com or go balls out OMA(tm) Beau Taylor style and perfect trolling, may Kimo Rest in Peace.
I leave it up to you to help and define this new and insane career choice of mine. Actually, I have a really good fucking clue of what I am exactly going to do and will ignore everything suggested on this thread.
But hey, open-mindedness, No Holds Barred and "friend of the fan" approaches are the buzzwords of today's successful journalists. And I don't want to be just "another" journalist, I want to remembered as the biggest Asshat to ever write about MMA.
I have to speak to the most seasoned pro and the newest fanboy, all within the same carefully constructed sentences. I will not be politically correct. I will call things as I see them. I will hold no punches.
Below is my 15 minute least though out review of UFC 125, I look forward to any and all comments!
"All that was cool about UFC 125 was Guida subbing Gomi, apparently the Geico Caveman took his motorhome to Stockton California, drove all of the 209 out into the desert, had some secret all night Shamanistic rendezvous with Nick Diaz but Nate Diaz somehow MISSED THE BUS and reminded us all that a strong finish don't win shit and most of the time your big brother is usually right. Gomi's weakness once again exposed by the least expected opponent, the alleged natural fiber blanket known as Clay Guida.
Then there was US Marine Brian Stann earning a promotion to Major Bad Ass turning Chris Leben's granite chin to a newly classified lower grade of gypsum and World Class Boxer, Irish Marcus Davis shockingly getting KTFO like Michael Bisping by the Cornhusker Ghost of Dan Henderson in Jeremy Stephens. Another win from the impressive stable of the Victory MMA Stable.
And sure, Brandon Vera's nose might have been more twisted than a Chael Sonnen real estate deal, leaving the fans wondering still about the truth from the hype."
Not bad for 15 minutes eh? Ladies think of what I could do with a WHOLE 90 SECONDS.
FRAT
tl,dr
I don't get these intrawebs codes at all.
Please don't name drop Hunter S Thompson and expect to be taken seriously.
Don't quit your night job! 
THP - Please don't name drop Hunter S Thompson and expect to be taken seriously.
Are you suggesting to others to second guess the judgment of Richard Milhous Nixon?
MMA is now in a DECLINE and I am the only one to recognize and document it.
The Garv? I thought they would take anyone
KoksukioTookItGreek - Don't quit your night job!
God Bless you Dino. In all sincerity, I personally find Yoga intriguing and a sincere compliment to success in Mixed Martial Arts.
Long ago I met one Shonie Carter and I posed, as a fan at this time, "Is fight honestly 95% mental"?
As in, mental preparation. As a participate of, to his count, of well over 200 mixed martial arts, Shonie confirmed to me that, yeah, fighting is 95% mental and 5% technique.
This is a unique perspective I've been privileged to experience from my first purchase of a UFC PPV #6, Tank vs. Taktarov, I was HOOKED, up to the "Year of Parity" as I define it of 2007..
Randy over Tim Sylvia, Matt Serra over GSP, Gonzaga vs. Cro Cop, Rampage over Liddell, Randy over Gonzaga, Jardine vs. Liddell, Anderson vs Franklin 2.
This established numerous precedents that any fighter could win over another, even as major, supra-genius underdog and 2008-2010 has only continued this trend.
Master Tang -THP - Please don't name drop Hunter S Thompson and expect to be taken seriously.
Are you suggesting to others to second guess the judgment of Richard Milhous Nixon?
MMA is now in a DECLINE and I am the only one to recognize and document it.
Nah, just suggesting you put down the Acai fruit shake and buy a pair of baggier jeans.
FUCK THE OG!
"The Garv? I thought they would take anyone" they took me lol
ttt 4 tang
"Nah, just suggesting you put down the Acai fruit shake and buy a pair of baggier jeans." .....……… Sorry, MT, but this was hilarious.
If you are serious let me know please?
Kirik - If you are serious let me know please?
Yes good sir, I passed THE GARV test and you have a Facebook friends invite!!!!
Welcome to the team man.
I write for them also.
a welcome pleasure!
TheGarv.com has been challenged in Kirik's Fight! magazine competition and words has been passed down along some intense chains in order to produce an actual video of the winning lyrics.
If necessary this will be a production equal of mid 80's Slayer.
Master Tang -
I'll be impossible for me to resist my Gonzo style of journalistic writing, in the dearly departed writing style of my true mentor Hunter. S. Thompson, but I cannot succeed at this job WITHOUT YOU.
It is impossible. You are in Chicago. I could be considered Chicago Tim. Might I suggest an intimate and over-priced soup and sandwich luncheon somewhere in the Loop, unless you're open to and knowledgeable about local food fair, shame the Fish House at Lake and... well, those delicious bags of Jumbo Fried Shrimp....
They are a special memory we cannot repeat... why did you make me remember such pains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!