Hey guys need help

You’re not the guy that did the whole “Colombian women are snakes” thread are you? I don’t remember.

Who cares? Putting a tracking device on someone’s vehicle isn’t at all healthy.
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If you were in a situation where there was possible litigation with fuckloads of money on the line or something, maybe I could see it. But for two random people in a relationship, that’s just weird.
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And you were right - again, who cares? The trust there was already gone by that point. And that means one of three things: #1 - she’s acting in a way that betrays your trust & doesn’t realize it; #2 - she’s acting in a way that betrays your trust, you’ve told her about it, and she’s continuing to do it, anyway, or #3 - you have trust issues you need to deal with.
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Unless it was a #1 situation, the only real solution is to just end things and move on - not put a tracking device on her car like some kinda stalker. That shit not only is weird AF, but makes you look bad.

Not only is it possible, it’s necessary, my brother. The betrayal you feel is only hurting you. She’s moved on. Any woman who says she considers herself ‘single’ after a fight and a few weeks of not talking is in no way wanting a future with you. In fact, she was presenting herself as single long ago.
Fight for custody of your child, don’t make emotional decisions, and remind yourself several times a day it’s over. There’s nothing you can do. It hurts and I’m sorry, but push through. We’re here for you.

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I appreciate and need those encouraging words
Man… I really do I feel so fucking down man

Can’t cheat and then expect things to end well.

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I did govt contract work in Iraq. Came home to find my (now ex) wife with a boyfriend & addicted to pills. We’d been married for 10 years.
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I’d suspected some shit was going on, but wasn’t 100% certain. I was out & about one day and saw her driving around town with a guy she worked with (who I suspected she was having an affair with). I went back to the office she worked at to see if she was there and she wasn’t. Parked across the street and waited for them to get back.
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When they pulled into the parking lot, I pulled in behind them - they didn’t see me. Before they got out, I saw them lean into each other and kiss through the back window. The dude got out, turned, and that’s when he saw me. She stayed behind the wheel staring at me in the rear view mirror.
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My hand was on the jack handle sitting next to my driver’s seat…I was this close to getting out & beating everyone’s ass.
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But then I remembered our (at the time) 8-year old daughter at home. She needed me.
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I pulled out of the parking lot and went home before I did something stupid.
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She came home after work trying to talk shit to me…why was I at her office, I had “no right”, etc. I told her the jig was up, I knew she was cheating, etc. She tried to tell me they were “just friends”.
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“Uhhh…I literally watched you two kiss”
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“We’re really good friends. That’s what friends do.”
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She knew I wasn’t buying and she was pissed that she got caught. She said she was “going out”, got in the car & left. Never came back. I raised our daughter by myself after that and her mother hasn’t been in her life ever since.
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She (my daughter) would later tell me she was much happier having just me instead of all the drama & shit her mama used to always cause…especially after she realized / understood what was going on & had happened.

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This.

And this.

Do not continue the engagement, and definitely do not get married to her. That marriage does not have a happy ending.

Stay pleasant, but end the relationship and start working to get custody of your child

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Right on. That bitch did you and your daughter a huge favor by bouncing.

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Of course she fucked him and is lying to you. Is this even a serious question?

Cheating women will lie to the fucking end man. You can practically catch them in the act with another cock inside them and they’ll say “Nope, I didn’t fuck him, it wasn’t what it looked like, we just fooled around, nope, I didn’t cheat.”

If a guy gets flat out caught, 9/10 times he’ll say “fuck, you got me, yeah I was fucking around.” Women will lie to the end of time.

So yes, she absolutely was fucking this guy. Cut her ass loose, but be a great Dad to your kid. Go for 50/50 custody, keep your cheating ex at arm’s length (business professional communication about the kid - otherwise don’t communicate with her).

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Sucks to be you.

That’s all I got.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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I’m sorry you have a child with this person.

Not to be an asshole, but I can’t fathom how I could have a relationship like this. Volatile, immature, childish. I’d never live with a woman who I’d insult and call names. It’s baffling to me.

I’d never be in a relationship with a woman who’d say “yeah, I suck dick and Im good at!” even in an argument.

I can’t imagine someone I live with behaving with such low class. I wouldn’t tolerate it for a second. I have too much self respect I guess.

Fuck a crazy, nasty, woman for fun? Sure.

Live with them? Have a child with them? Not a chance.

You solicited help. Here’s some. Help yourself. Make yourself a better person. Respect yourself more. No one can force you to put up with shit like this. Don’t try to save a “relationship” with a person you don’t respect at all who doesn’t respect you at all.

Maybe I’m wrong and it can happen to anybody. Maybe I’m absurdly naive and think I “got one of the good ones” 20 years ago and women can change in a second. But, damn man. I wouldn’t live like this for a second.

Pull the plug. Have some self respect.

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She was never going to be with you long term. A kid from another relationship, a kid with you out of wedlock/mistake and the kicker- she went back to her country….two years together sounds about right before she’d want you out

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You only need to concentrate on the exit plan bro. That and your kid is the only thing that matters. Treat all this shit with the mom as a business breakup only.

bing-fucking-o
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EXCELLENT post, top-to-bottom. VU

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Well you asked for advice, here goes. If you want to try and salvage this relationship.

1st Do nothing in anger, nothing good comes from it.

2nd Trust your gut feeling, if you didn’t trust her enough that you put a tracking device on her car (which is a felony depending on your location) then it should have been addressed then

3rd Most people today don’t know how to communicate, they don’t listen and try to overtalk each other. So I utilize the salt of silence. Get a salt shaker, whoever holds it can speak, the other one has to listen until the salt holder is done, pass it to the other person and they can speak, you have to listen. A lot of good open conversations can come from this.

4th If the salt of silence works, then move on to yes no conversations. Write down questions and tell them this is very simple, yes or no, we will discuss the answers afterwards.

Back to point 1, nothing in anger. For example.

Are you happy with our relationship, yes or no

Do you want to leave me, yes or no

When I cheated on you did you forgive me, yes or no

Etc

Make sure she has the same opportunity to ask you questions.

5th Get the fuck out of the relationship, this isn’t healthy.

That’s all I got right now

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Thanks man I think I know what I have to do but It’s like something is holding me back… I don’t know if it’s I’m scared of losing my daughter, the house I just bought, scared of being lonely… a bunch of fear, maybe I’m just a pussy I guess

Not at all. those are normal. Once you’re on the other side of it you’ll wish you’d gotten there sooner. I promise. Notice how easily she moved on and made such horrible decisions. That’s who you’re dealing with. Be smart.

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