HILARIOUS and FUNNY things only YOU witnessed

in my early 20s, right out of college, i had a streak for about a year where I witnessed random women tripping and falling on the street, escalator, hallway, staircase, etc....many times, there'd be other people around me who missed it and would think i was crazy when i asked them if they saw what i saw

i swear on my life this happened over a dozen times

i think i am the only witness to this thread

I was like 17 and my older buddy was banging the baddest bitch of our group of friends she was 21 hot as fuck and wasn't scared to kick a girls ass either. We were up all night rolling on X  and at like 6am just me and her were sitting on he back porch smoking some weed and she gets up to do a round off back handspring( she used to be a gymnast) and she straight scorpions on the back handspring and then looked up with a wtf just happened look. I died laughing but asked if she was ok. I don't think I ever told anybody about that either.

One thanksgiving when I was a teenager my dad was making gravy and he went into the fridge to grab, what he thought was butter. Since my father was a bit neurotic when he cooked (he gets real into it), I decided I would stand around the corner and watch him mess around with the gravy. He likes to get real close the food, and talk to himself a bit, like: "yea, that looks good, but needs more salt"

So I am around the corner watching in get into making this gravy, when he walks to the fringe to get what he thinks is butter. He takes it over to the turkey gravy, and aggressively pulls the top off the container of butter...however, as he did that, the contents in the container shifted dramatically and the whole thing over turned into the gravy....Apparently, someone (my mom) was using an old butter container, to store blueberries. So rather than open this container and find butter, instead 1 pound of blue berries and their juices fell right into my father's masterfully made gravy....As the blueberries started to fall and he realized what was happening, he was already cursing...

"No, fuck! God damn it! Who the fuck!, God damn it"

Without missing a beat he then yelled through the house, "Who put the fucking blueberries in with the butter...who puts blue berries in a butter container, god damn it Ellen get in here..."

My mom of course hears the commotion, comes storming into the kitchen and my dad is furious, he looks like the dude from A Christmas Story, when the wife broke his beloved leg lamp....My dad looks at my mom and says: "Who the hell puts blueberries in a butter container, look at my gravy, its ruined, it has fucking blueberries floating in it, I can't serve this." My mother replies, "I don't know what your talking about, look at what you are doing, I am not your scapegoat here."

Then, out of no where, with me standing around the corner laughing inside, watching this meltdown, my father turns to my mother...he looks at her and says:


I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore and I just start hysterically laughing at all of this...my dad looks a bit embarrassed now, and says "What?" and I told him:

"Dad you realized you just called mom a blueberry bitch"

he replies, "I did not, I would never say that."

I told him, "Dad you just called mom a blueberry bitch, in the history of humankind, I don't think anyone has ever used those two words together, I am certain no person on earth, has ever been called a blueberry bitch...."

After a few seconds we were all hysterically laughing....the gravy wasn't half bad either....

Trenton NJ, was leaving community college and watched a cracked head casually walk up to an intersection and then do three high speed cartwheels across the street and then sprint into a alley. I was in awe then busted out laughing

My first attempt at college, upstate NY in the mid- 90s. My housemate and I were doing a midnight run to Wegmans (supermarket). We saw 2 liter bottles of coke were on a super sale so we bought most of them and filled up our cart. Being midnight, there was only 1 register open with a tired ass check out clerk and a couple customers (likely stoned) on line.

As I jerked the cart to a stop at the end of the check out line a single 2 liter bottle falls off the top. It tumbles to the floor, landing right on its Cl cap. The cap breaks and the pressurized soda shoots out of the bottle, propelling it off the floor.

But the bottle doesn't shoot up fast like a bottle rocket, it lifts slowly into the air like the space shuttle taking off, carbonated cola shooting like ignited rocket fuel out its spout. The bottle lifts slowly into the air to head height, hovers for a second, then slowly levitates to the check out counter, still spewing soda, and gently sets itself down on the counter.

There is a a stunned moment of silence from everyone watching with their mouth open in amazement. Except for the tired ass register clerk, who completes the event perfectly by dead panning into the P.A. system, "clean up on aisle 7. Clean up on aisle 7."

Completely true story.