How do you deal with being down?

This isn’t about being depressed or suicidal. Just demoralized.  Been looking for a job for the last 6 months, just found out that a position that I had 12 rounds of interviews for got eliminated.   

I lost a dream job at a startup because the board eliminated my position after I raised $20MM dollars.  But with that came a new board and new strategic priorities.  I don’t fault them, but it sucks being congratulated for doing good work but the better you do the faster you’re out the door.  

Had an offer out of state early on but wife and O didn’t want to uproot the kids and wife had a good job.  After I said no, and they filled it with someone else, she gets laid off.   Still, we don’t want to move the kids so I don’t totally think it was the wrong decision.  

The job hunt is long and frustrating.  Today I yelled at one of my kids over her being a kid.  Stupid shit that probably deserved a scolding but not yelling.   So I’m a piece of shit for that too.  

Chronic injuries mean I can’t really work out.  I’m 60lbs too heavy.  Doing PT but the out of pocket is high enough that I just feel guilty

I know drinking isn’t the answer, and neither is diving face First into bowl of icecream.  That’s why I’m 60lbs too heavy.   

I feel like a bitch for complaining when people have real problems too.  But I guess I’m a bitch on top of everything else.  

Cant sleep either.  

I know in my head that this will pass.  But there are days when you can’t help feeling how you feel.  So what do you guys do when there’s little you can do about a situation in the short term, you feel down and like an asshole and you’re unfit to be around anyone you care about?

 

Sorry for the FRAT btw

Dude, losing a job and then hunting for one is particularly painful. It just slowly chews away at your identity, at your manhood.

Got laid off about 2 years ago and it took 4 months to find a job in my field. It definitely messed with my head.

The "picking yourself up" part gets challenging when you don't have anything where to go and nothing but time to think. Routine is the key. You get up, you shower, you shave, you eat something healthy..... Act like you have something to do. Then you probably will. It's that first 15 minutes of the day that define it.

That's what worked for me...... When I was smart enough to actually do it. Took me a little bit to figure it out. I definitely stared at some walls and slept til noon a few times.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, yelling is much nicer than scolding so I’m sure your kid is fine. 

Youre like me though, things get down, you get harder on yourself which actually exacerbates the situation. 

You're not a bitch.

Being a grown up is lot harder than any of us expected it to be.

MountainMedic - Dude, losing a job and then hunting for one is particularly painful. It just slowly chews away at your identity, at your manhood.

Got laid off about 2 years ago and it took 4 months to find a job in my field. It definitely messed with my head.

The "picking yourself up" part gets challenging when you don't have anything where to go and nothing but time to think. Routine is the key. You get up, you shower, you shave, you eat something healthy..... Act like you have something to do. Then you probably will. It's that first 15 minutes of the day that define it.

That's what worked for me...... When I was smart enough to actually do it. Took me a little bit to figure it out. I definitely stared at some walls and slept til noon a few times.

Thanks.  Routine is a good note.  Today was the first day the kids went back to school so there was a routine shift for them as well as me.  And I think the blow up in the morning threw me off for the rest of the day.  

 

The majority of the OG deals with Down’s everyday. Should get some good responses. 

i do it with OPP

I get up

Stay active. I work from the time I wake up until I can't keep my eyes open.

ranier wolfcastle -


i do it with OPP

Yeah you know me

nottheface -
MountainMedic - Dude, losing a job and then hunting for one is particularly painful. It just slowly chews away at your identity, at your manhood.

Got laid off about 2 years ago and it took 4 months to find a job in my field. It definitely messed with my head.

The "picking yourself up" part gets challenging when you don't have anything where to go and nothing but time to think. Routine is the key. You get up, you shower, you shave, you eat something healthy..... Act like you have something to do. Then you probably will. It's that first 15 minutes of the day that define it.

That's what worked for me...... When I was smart enough to actually do it. Took me a little bit to figure it out. I definitely stared at some walls and slept til noon a few times.

Thanks.  Routine is a good note.  Today was the first day the kids went back to school so there was a routine shift for them as well as me.  And I think the blow up in the morning threw me off for the rest of the day.  

 

Maybe you were reacting to the reality that you lost your distractions?


Man, it's tough and it's silly to pretend it's not. I agree with the above that you are being hard on yourself, but I understand the pressure.

Let me challenge you here a bit.
You have two little ones that are old enough to learn stuff. And they learn alot more by watching than listening.
So.... This is how you show them how a man handles adversity, this is when they find out the right and wrong way to face challenges. This is the gift of fortitude you give them, a roadmap to follow long after you're gone.

This lesson is more important that leaving them a pile of cash when you die.

Dude, hobbies?? Do something that you can enjoy with the comrades that gets you out with your boys regularly.. doesn’t have to be drinking or sports.. I know vague, but that’s helped me for sure. 

 

Start being disciplined in one area of life and it will spread to other areas. If you get serious about your diet next thing you know your place is always clean and you're more motivated to workout, when you're working out then you don't want to eat so poorly. Start saving money and you will be spending money smarter, when you spend money smarter you will save more money. It's all connected. Lots of us struggle you're not alone OP. 

I'm about to graduate Magna Cum Laude from Joe Rogan University. 

MountainMedic -
nottheface -
MountainMedic - Dude, losing a job and then hunting for one is particularly painful. It just slowly chews away at your identity, at your manhood.

Got laid off about 2 years ago and it took 4 months to find a job in my field. It definitely messed with my head.

The "picking yourself up" part gets challenging when you don't have anything where to go and nothing but time to think. Routine is the key. You get up, you shower, you shave, you eat something healthy..... Act like you have something to do. Then you probably will. It's that first 15 minutes of the day that define it.

That's what worked for me...... When I was smart enough to actually do it. Took me a little bit to figure it out. I definitely stared at some walls and slept til noon a few times.

Thanks.  Routine is a good note.  Today was the first day the kids went back to school so there was a routine shift for them as well as me.  And I think the blow up in the morning threw me off for the rest of the day.  

 

Maybe you were reacting to the reality that you lost your distractions?


Man, it's tough and it's silly to pretend it's not. I agree with the above that you are being hard on yourself, but I understand the pressure.

Let me challenge you here a bit.
You have two little ones that are old enough to learn stuff. And they learn alot more by watching than listening.
So.... This is how you show them how a man handles adversity, this is when they find out the right and wrong way to face challenges. This is the gift of fortitude you give them, a roadmap to follow long after you're gone.

This lesson is more important that leaving them a pile of cash when you die.

Damn, so many of your posts are incredibly insightful. I wish I had the courage to live according to my ideals the way that you do. 

What’s the financials look like? Even if not wolves at the door time, might be good for your sanity to take another job. Otherwise like someone else said, pick one thing you can fix whether diet, injury, etc. 

and good luck with it, at least you have family to motivate you

I feel you OP. last year the construction yard i have worked at for the last twenty years  closed down. i never realised how good i had it till it was gone.

Its been a pretty tough year for me,at one stage i weighed about 86 kilos, down from 100, my mum who i have  been looked after for the last ten years,tried to kill herself which made thing even more fucked up. thank fuck i dont have any kids

But you just have to keep hustling, i have been doing some brickie labouring jobs,cos thats all im good at,but things will hopefully improve 

I am usually a pretty positive person,so hopefully this is just a speed bump, an with a bit of hard work an a positive attitude, things will get better

 

I am a  god damn OGers  an ill be damned if let this shit defeat me! 

 

 

What kind of work are you looking for? Maybe someone can help. 

 

Go find work to be working. Work at Costco. They pay well and have benefits. Get your more long term job while working there. 

 

As mentioned - get disciplined in something. Exercise. Hobby. Whatever. 

 

Dont sweat yourself too hard on the kid Thing. We all do that man. I feel like shit pretty often for that but it happens and we try to be better over the long run. Part of being a parent 

 

keep your chin up. Finding a job isn’t easy and not having one doesn’t define you. Go get a paycheck coming in and if will make you enjoy the gravy job more when you get it. 

Tomorrow is a new day! Keep going!!

 

failing is giving up!!