How Do you NOT find a rub n tug

So this Christmas season, Ive been thinking of treating myself to a massage. I have two wrecked shoulders from football and have had really bad neck pain for a couple months now. So despite money being tight, Id like to get a good massage..
The thing is I want a LEGIT massage, not a rub n tug place where the massage is crap cause its really a front for a jerking shop.

The thing is there is apparently a lot of rub n tug spots in my town. Some more obvious then others, so now I don't know where to look..

For example I just was at a strip mall and saw a asian massage place and thought Id stop in for a price list..

Then I saw blacked out windows, its hours were 10am till 11pm weekdays and 10am till 1am weekends and they had "table shower" ass one of their services listed on the window. All red flags right?

So how do you find a legit massage place? Like I said, I want a good massage not a crappy one cause the real service being offered is sex. Phone Post

Know how I know youre gay? Phone Post 3.0

Yelp.com

You do realize that most of those places will also give you a regular massage, right?  Just has the added benefit of a happy ending if you want one. 

Look up physical therapists and sports therapists. They'll be more likely to treat your injury pain instead of giving a standard relaxation routine.

Unless you get a recommendation, I'd avoid massage places that also offer New Age services. That's always my problem, finding masseurs that'll stick to where I have actual pain, instead of pulling my fingers and trying to fix my chi or chakras or some shit.

I've wondered this myself. Nobody can pull my pud better than me, so why pay for that? Give me a good, relaxing rub, and she can watch me do my own happy ending.

FIND A 100LB 50YR OLD VIETNAMESE LADY.......THOSE FUCKING BROADS HAVE FUCKING IRON HANDS AND STEEL FINGERS....LOL.

Lots of Chiropractor offices have a legit message therapist that works out of their office.

 

I also second the suggestion of phyical therapy places.

IronHands - I've wondered this myself. Nobody can pull my pud better than me, so why pay for that? Give me a good, relaxing rub, and she can watch me do my own happy ending.


Pulling your own is never as fun as having someone else pull it for you.

BEEP Phone Post 3.0

If you want a legit place, avoid anyplace that says Asian Massage. Phone Post 3.0

just avoid anything advertized as "asian" , "oriental", "japanese", etc....

 

find a decent chain or something well reviewed on yelp

 

 

 

side note...my wife wanted to book a massage for both of us and found a place with a women's and men's "section" (mens section in basement....hmmm)........totally legit with lots of regular women customers (asian and non asian) and well reviewed on yelp

 

but the place was busted for "prostitution/solicitation" i guess in the men's section and a yelp reviewer "reviewed" the spa and linked to the article....hilarious

I pay for the massage and stay for the happy ending! Phone Post 3.0

mshagger - I pay for the massage and stay for the happy ending! Phone Post 3.0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdWYXwjJhAU

JustPeed - So this Christmas season, Ive been thinking of treating myself to a massage. I have two wrecked shoulders from football and have had really bad neck pain for a couple months now. So despite money being tight, Id like to get a good massage..
The thing is I want a LEGIT massage, not a rub n tug place where the massage is crap cause its really a front for a jerking shop.

The thing is there is apparently a lot of rub n tug spots in my town. Some more obvious then others, so now I don't know where to look..

For example I just was at a strip mall and saw a asian massage place and thought Id stop in for a price list..

Then I saw blacked out windows, its hours were 10am till 11pm weekdays and 10am till 1am weekends and they had "table shower" ass one of their services listed on the window. All red flags right?

So how do you find a legit massage place? Like I said, I want a good massage not a crappy one cause the real service being offered is sex. Phone Post
What state are you in? Phone Post 3.0

Look for "Therapeutic Massage," get background on the therapist, they should have backgrounds in various forms of bodywork such as Deep Tissue, ROLFing, Myofascial etc. Many of the best ones will have a day job as Occupational or Physical Therapists in a clinical setting, and will practice massage on their own. Look for national and state certifications.

angryinch -


You do realize that most of those places will also give you a regular massage, right?  Just has the added benefit of a happy ending if you want one. 

Yeah, but did you read my post? The places that are a front for hand job places probably don't have skilled masuses, since their main requirements there are hooking.

I'm looking for some actual skilled work for therapeutic massage Phone Post 3.0

2nolatch4 -
JustPeed - So this Christmas season, Ive been thinking of treating myself to a massage. I have two wrecked shoulders from football and have had really bad neck pain for a couple months now. So despite money being tight, Id like to get a good massage..
The thing is I want a LEGIT massage, not a rub n tug place where the massage is crap cause its really a front for a jerking shop.

The thing is there is apparently a lot of rub n tug spots in my town. Some more obvious then others, so now I don't know where to look..

For example I just was at a strip mall and saw a asian massage place and thought Id stop in for a price list..

Then I saw blacked out windows, its hours were 10am till 11pm weekdays and 10am till 1am weekends and they had "table shower" ass one of their services listed on the window. All red flags right?

So how do you find a legit massage place? Like I said, I want a good massage not a crappy one cause the real service being offered is sex. Phone Post
What state are you in? Phone Post 3.0
Florida Phone Post 3.0

IronHands - I've wondered this myself. Nobody can pull my pud better than me, so why pay for that? Give me a good, relaxing rub, and she can watch me do my own happy ending.

...IronHands.

My chiro has some evil massage therapists working out of her office.