99 years old, fall off the ladder while installing an intricate lightshow system on my house. I will land on my spiked defensive perimeter fence.
Or hopefully from dehydration and an erection that lasts more than four hours while busting nuts on every famous woman ever on the holodeck.
probably heart attack from having to SEX a woman or pooping like Elvis(I have constipation troubles!)
already was diagnosed and battled advanced stage cancer, very aggressive treatment…the nurses snuck me out of the hospital while the doctors pretended to look the other way
this also happened when I went to radiology for an X-Ray or CT-Scan or whatever it was they had scheduled
Chatty/Flirty Filippina Hottie: “What are you doing here, you don’t look like anything broken”
Me: “I have Cancer…”
I sometimes got a few dates that way