How hard is it to close a package?

I swear my wife is incapable of closing anything. Chips, cookies, cheese, anything she leaves it half ass closed so it dries out or goes stale. Then gets mad when I throw it out. I went to make the kid a grilled cheese and all the cheese is dried out and the bread all stale. Drives me nuts. It’s NOT FUCKING HARD. ZIP THE LITTLE ZIPLOCK AND THEN JUST DOUBLE CHECK JESUS. Sorry needed to vent a bit. 

1 Like

Can't remember to close a package but will remember something you did 3 years ago to throw in your face at the end of an argument that has nothing to do with said thing. 

8 Likes

oh she knows what she is doing.

MojoSoDope - 

Can't remember to close a package but will remember something you did 3 years ago to throw in your face at the end of an argument that has nothing to do with said thing. 

“Oh yeah? Well you remember a couple years ago back during the quarantine of 2020 when you kept getting mad at me over dumb little things like not closing the cheese package? Well what about THAT!?!”

3 Likes

Believe me, she will not change. 

Forty-five years later, woman hasn't learned to close a package tight.

I plan to leave her casket cracked open.

5 Likes
MojoSoDope - 

Can't remember to close a package but will remember something you did 3 years ago to throw in your face at the end of an argument that has nothing to do with said thing. 

This is called sandbagging, and it is a thing. I took a in college, WITH my wife, where it was taught for various different reasons that it is never good to do this. My wife knows this, remembers being taught this. 

My wife still does this.

1 Like

*>

*>

My wife is a masters level accomplished healthcare administrator who wrangle egotistical and narcissistic doctors, unruly nurses, and demanding patients but who is completely incapable of loading a dishwasher properly. She can fill 2 racks in a standard sized dishwasher with 2 spoons, a bowl, and a plastic cup and then complain there is no more room for anything else.

I don’t understand…

VinegarStrokes - 

I swear my wife is incapable of closing anything. Chips, cookies, cheese, anything she leaves it half ass closed so it dries out or goes stale. Then gets mad when I throw it out. I went to make the kid a grilled cheese and all the cheese is dried out and the bread all stale. Drives me nuts. It’s NOT FUCKING HARD. ZIP THE LITTLE ZIPLOCK AND THEN JUST DOUBLE CHECK JESUS. Sorry needed to vent a bit. 

She's already your wife, she doesn't have to be on her best behavior ANYMORE! 

1 Like
Revenants -

Believe me, she will not change. 

Forty-five years later, woman hasn't learned to close a package tight.

I plan to leave her casket cracked open.

The part that gets me is she gets mad I throw out stale chips or cookies like who wants to eat soggy nasty chips? 

I had to get my own toothpaste when I was married.  I would shove it to the back of the drawer twice a day so she'd use her tube which was always dried out LOL

Stale bread does make really good grilled cheese though.

Stuffing too. When I was a kid, we'd save all the stale heels of bread throughout the year in the freezer. Thanksgiving comes around, boom. Best stuffing ever.

But yeah. I would imagine that shit gets annoying.

VinegarStrokes -

I swear my wife is incapable of closing anything. Chips, cookies, cheese, anything she leaves it half ass closed so it dries out or goes stale. Then gets mad when I throw it out. I went to make the kid a grilled cheese and all the cheese is dried out and the bread all stale. Drives me nuts. It’s NOT FUCKING HARD. ZIP THE LITTLE ZIPLOCK AND THEN JUST DOUBLE CHECK JESUS. Sorry needed to vent a bit. 

You are wrong. Twist the bag by spinning the bread loaf and tuck the tail under the loaf when you set it down. Reusing the twist tie is for serial killers and dudes who tuck their weiners between their legs and wear womens lingerie. Reusing the plastic clip is acceptable on occasion but only after using the loaf spin technique first and you still need to tuck the tail under the loaf so it is a pointless endeavor. 

3 Likes

It’s hard to properly close any bag when it looks like a racoon opened it

3 Likes
Phuckles -
VinegarStrokes -

I swear my wife is incapable of closing anything. Chips, cookies, cheese, anything she leaves it half ass closed so it dries out or goes stale. Then gets mad when I throw it out. I went to make the kid a grilled cheese and all the cheese is dried out and the bread all stale. Drives me nuts. It’s NOT FUCKING HARD. ZIP THE LITTLE ZIPLOCK AND THEN JUST DOUBLE CHECK JESUS. Sorry needed to vent a bit. 

You are wrong. Twist the bag by spinning the bread loaf and tuck the tail under the loaf when you set it down. Reusing the twist tie is for serial killers and dudes who tuck their weiners between their legs and wear womens lingerie. Reusing the plastic clip is acceptable on occasion but only after using the loaf spin technique first and you still need to tuck the tail under the loaf so it is a pointless endeavor. 

Spin it, then twist tie it is the way to go. Leaving it tucked with no tie is begging for the OP behavior. And those plastic closer things with the two teeth that come on most bread are useless and don't make a tight closer.

Not package closing, but my wife has a tendency to leave objects perched on the edge of tables or countertops. Sometimes very valuable objects, like her laptop. WHY? Someone walking past it could give it an unintentional nudge or bump and it would go flying onto the floor. 

Just put it closer to the center of the table, don’t leave part of it hanging over. 

1 Like
ptper - It's hard to properly close any bag when it looks like a racoon opened it

LOL no shit. I have litterally brought home a new box of crackers or cereal, taken it out of the shopping bag, opened it like a civilized human and then closed it correctly before putting it in the cabinet.

oldnslow - My wife is a masters level accomplished healthcare administrator who wrangle egotistical and narcissistic doctors, unruly nurses, and demanding patients but who is completely incapable of loading a dishwasher properly. She can fill 2 racks in a standard sized dishwasher with 2 spoons, a bowl, and a plastic cup and then complain there is no more room for anything else.

I don’t understand…

Same.  But I swear no one can load a dishwasher properly.  Work in a firehouse with ten other dudes and they I’m convinced they fuck it up now just to piss me off.

my wife is also incapable of taking the trash out. She always leaves it on the porch.  And she always leaves her CLOSET light on.  

Tmaguru -
Taco Muncher -

Not package closing, but my wife has a tendency to leave objects perched on the edge of tables or countertops. Sometimes very valuable objects, like her laptop. WHY? Someone walking past it could give it an unintentional nudge or bump and it would go flying onto the floor. 

Just put it closer to the center of the table, don’t leave part of it hanging over. 

Dude.  I feel this in my soul.

We have cats and small dogs.  They knock shit off tables if its near the edge.

I can't tell you how many broken glasses this has resulted in but I can tell you it has fucked up 2 laptop screens, one phone screen, vases full of flowers, etc.

Just shove the fucking shit 6 inches in away from the fucking edge.

Also:  Despite being an otherwise good cook she entirely lacks the ability to use the right size pot for cooking beans.  She always puts too much in a smaller pot then damn near tops it off with water before boiling... which of course it boils over EVERY SINGLE TIME at least 4 days a week.  

I dont even get up to help on that one anymore.  Clean your own stupid shit up, I dont have time to explain pot sizes for the 18 years of this time.

Again, I love my wife, she just has some child like stupid habits that havent gone away even well into our middle ages here.

You guys eat a lot of beans