I had internal and external roids. had them burst more than once. BLOOD BLOOD and you guessed it more BLOOD! Missed 14 days of work once because of them. and for anyone who thinks its funny.. If you ever get them you will be sorry for laughing.
Fissures....I am sorry Mihow
Were they my fault? 
Welcome to the club buddy! 
I developed one about a year ago and it still flares up on me from time to time.
Main thing is don't strain while pooping. That is how you usually get them in the first place.
Preperation H wipes are a godsend.
oragel......do it.
Get used to stingy/itchy asshole if you don't do anything about them since it is a chronic condition.
If you have insurance then go see a proctologist and have them perform a procedure to remove them. They'll follow it up with a few months of band treatments (think of crimping a dog's tail, a roid is like a little mushroom ballon of vericose veins, the itching is the blood in them clotting, at least according to procto) which only last about 5-10 minutes. If you are a good boy, change your diet/lifestyle or are healthy and just have a bad gene or two then you can skip the colonoscopy at the end and graduate early.
It's worth it if you change your diet, if not they will just come back.
And just an FYI/warning that the procedure is an outpatient surgery so if you go see a procto, chances are they will remove them right then an there, on the spot (if they aren't lazy). They like to take care of them right away instead of scheduling an appointment for the patient to puss out on it (after giving the procedure some thought it is hard to blame them). They also assume that the roids are very annoying and that you want to be rid of them.
I went in, they had me lay on my side to take a quick peek then onto my stomach and the next thing I know the exam table is in the shape of an A with my ass in the air and they are sticking needles full of procaine in my starfish. After it is good and numb they get their soldering iron thing, cut them out (doc describes it as "grape jelly"), sew you up and send you home with a vicodin script.
No donught seat or anything, I took two days off work but didn't need to.
I gotta say that needles in the starfish was some intense pain, way more intense than the actual roids but it was worth it. For me the Roid pain was about a 5 and the needles were a 9 or 10 but I would rather have < 5 minutes of level 9 pain than a lifetime of annoying level 5 pain. The docs have a fan blowing cold air on your face during the cold sweat that forms while they numb you up.
Shitting with stiches in your ass isn't all that fun and the person who linked the squatty potty thing deserves a medal of some sort. Pulling my feet up to the stool and "squatty potty"-ing was a godsend.
If you need some relief after a brutal shit (especially when the stiches are there) then take a sitz bath. While you are taking a shit fill the tub with a few inches of hot water and toss in some epson salts. As soon as the shit is finished jump in the tub for instant pain relief.
i've had them since i was around 22. i'm going to be 30 in a few weeks. as for my situation, right now, the hemorrhoids are not so bad. although every time i shit and have to wipe my ass, there's blood on the toilet paper.
in regards to diet. i don't really eat many vegetables. i do eat fruit every day and lots of brown rice, and...
i eat chia seeds. i think they help. they have lots of fiber. and they are a real food.
when i first got the hemorrhoids, the doctor made me take this nasty fiber shit, and it was horrible. it was also a laxative. i stopped eating that nasty fiber shit after a few days.
my hemorrhoids got really bad when i was on a low carb paleo diet. it was extremely painful. do NOT go on a low carb diet - it will aggravate hemorrhoids.