How to be a bouncer

  1. Be an Asshole

  2. Stand at a door.

Lol....... someone else deal with this dipshit......

.......... I'm tired.

  1. Beat the piss out of a drunk guy.

sounds to me like someone didn't get his way at the bar last night.

Well BenBJJ, he never said bouncers were broke or stupid, just assholes standing at doors who beat the piss out of drunks.

I dont fully agree, but have seen many examples of said behavior.

Just send in the cooler....

i've been a bouncer for the last five years. basically i try to calm down a situation. try not to lay hands on people, and never hit until it's self defense. plus i like to think i'm fairly friendly. mostly the asshole bouncers are the guys with huge roid muscles and a chip on their shoulder. alot of the guys i work with see it just like i do. a way to make some extra cash.

O yea and i teach special ed during the day (everyone else gave their day jobs)

Becareful that door my be severly underestimated.

Im currently working through my degree at university and "bouncing" on the weekend, it is so boring, never any action, basically if i have to kick someone out im nice about it and just ask them to leave, which they pretty much always do.

The most recent altercation i had was a couple of months ago when a guy went for me and i just slammed him. but more or less, i try t keep out of trouble, i know what i can and cant do.
BenBJJ, the club sounds like where i work at, im up in Brisbane in the Valley.

Mr. Penny packer got Pwned by Officedrone 23!!!

I used to work at a nightclub, the boucners would drink some beers with the staff at the end of the night. Most of them are cool guys and you can tell they have to put up with alot of shit. Some of them however have really bad egos and are in love with themselves.

You can tell if a bouncer is going to let you into a club before he even says anything. If he has those "Sorry cunt, not tonight" eyes on him, then you're fucked.


are you asian?

Its funny how people call the bouncer an asshole.Do you ever think that the patrons are more of the assholes.They drink until they cant stand,piss in sinks,do drugs in the bathroom,think they know somebody so they dont have to leave and worst of all after a couple cans of courage they can fight anybody.

Actually, I watched that comic last night and thought he was pretty funny when doing the pad thing. VERY unique I felt. lol @ "don't throw stones if you live in a glass house... unless you're TRAPPED in it"

MrPennypacker obviously saw Demetri Martin on Comedy Central last night. This was his.

Dimitri Martin is funny as hell, and he's nothing like Dane Cook.

If a bouncer is nice, you don't notice him. If he is an asshole, you definitely do. So inevitably people only remember the asshole bouncers.

Can a blue namer please repost that thread. Just started security at a bar last night. I would appreciate it.

["...this was a bit from a Comedy Central special last night for that Dmitri whatever his name is. More like Dane Cook lite..."]

WTF? Demitri Martin is a total 180 from Dane Cook. Cook is a manic, arena frat comic. Martin is a hipster alternative comic. Martin's more like Zach Galifiankis, Mitch Hedberg, or Steven Wright than Cook. His stand up special was pretty good.