How To Deal With Pious Religious Jerks? Ref "God Bless You"

Or Im praying for you. Or I love Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

I have a dick religious fanatic in my family. When we disagree, or when something is not to his liking. He will come back and " God Bless You" or " I will Pray For You" . It is said in a condescending manner. Such fucking arrogance.

I want to respond like suck a dick ! or fuck yourself! Or flip him off by actually touching his nose with the bird. Or giving him a poke in the chest. It is as we are jockeying for alpha male in the family. he is an older dude and thinks he is everybodys moral and religious hero. He is a fucking bitch.

When Doctors were working on my son in the hospital it was pretty tense. he announces in such reverant wanna be preacher voice! " Its in Gods Hands Now" wanting to hold hands with everybody and all that shit. Im like , " no mother fucker it is the Dr and Nurses hands" what a dick he is.

Suggestions?

Sounds like you have a lot of anger. Have you considered turning your soul over to our lord and savior jesus? Or maybe jiujitsu to burn off some of that p&v?

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I’m sending hopes and prayers your way OP.

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Im not a hard ass total atheist. But he makes me want to say something like" Im talking to satin about your silly ass"!

Or maybe. Hey Paaaw, While you are praying for me, please mention my Pfizer stock , which should be booming by now. WTF is up with that god damn pfizer. It is only one of the biggest companies in the world and has basically played a major part in ending an epidemic. wtf?

38 dollars a share !!!. Come on lord get off the dick with holding Pfizer down!!!

arrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh Im ghonna shoot you trav. LOL LOL

Shoot him with a shotgun in his face.

RELIGIOUS GENOCIDE!!!

I would love to get back to pajama wrestling. Three herniated cervical discs discourages that idea.

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Doesn’t sound like a religious problem at all. It sounds like you don’t like the individual. Classic case of allowing the messenger to kill the message.

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I often say something along the lines of:

“There is no place for the worshiping of supernatural beings in a modern society”

Also, if it’s in Gods hands then why pray to him? If for example someone dies, is that a fuck you from God?

It’s honestly laughable.

so what is a gentle but effective response. Thank you encourages the shit. How about " good to know: with a real earnest lean forward and scrunched eyebrow serious ass nod!! ??

lol at that idea. he would go berzerk speaking in tongues.

Just laugh and say “good one” with a shake of the head

lmfao at that.

Or how about. Alright JOHN! with a fake laugh , noddding and a big clap of the hand. Like a football huddle breakl.

Start scribbling on the floor in chalk and mumbling about Abaddon.

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devil satan GIF

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satan GIF

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Its Me Devil GIF by Rob Zombie

He hides it carefully, but he is close to being a snakebite and talk in tongues type

how about!

Good For YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU. and then offer handshake and a hug! If hug occurrs , do best fake laugh and clap his back like Heimlich maneuver. Wham wham wham.

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