I am FRIGGING train wreck.

FRAT WARNING.
Been married for 20 + years and have 3 kids. Wife fucked up big time on 2 occasions. I stuck it out for both financial reasons and for the kids. About 8 years ago my wife started to have problems with a seizure disorder causing her to lose her license and job. This has left me to bear the burden of 3 kids and all of the household stuff.

She has gained over 100 lbs and basically sleeps most of the time. My job keeps me very busy working 6 days at a minimum of 10 hours a day. I have asked for help from my in laws and they do what they can ,but they do live 60 miles away.

The train wreck started back about a year ago.I decided I had had enough and started telling her to get up and help out. I explained that I know she does not feel well,but I was burning out. I told my kids they needed to step up or we would have to move closer to my in laws. My son decided to get mad and punch holes in the wall. In june I begged my wife to please help me that I was going to have to do something drastic if she didnt step it up.

She ignored my pleas. I was at car show and ran into a girl I had not seen in 10 years. We had a little history and both decided to grab dinner. She was married for 20 years,but had to leave as her ex was getting physically abusive.
In september my friend and I took it to a different level. from september till december I was just going out most nights and hanging with her. I was happy for the first time in years. The change was obvious even my co workers noticed I was happy.

I told my wife that I would be filing for divorce after the holidays and she lost her mind. she admits to ignoring me and even admits to not caring at the time,but now she wants a chance. I am feeling horrible right now. Girlfriend has fallen in love and wants to make a go of it and My wife is begging me for a chance. So either way someone is getting hurt.

my gut says stay with the wife and kids and hope she turns it around,but my heart is telling me it will be just like the other times she has made promises..... she will not follow through.

Not really expecting much just venting. Will be no pics cause I am feeling like a piece of shit as it is. Just cant win here .

What do you mean your wife fucked up twice? She cheated twice? If so high tail it and take the kids with you Phone Post 3.0

Tough call. I don't know what to tell you except that I read what you wrote and I feel for you. Whatever you choose try not to get into the regret trap. Go down whichever path and look back as little as possible.

Sucks man. How old are the kids? Phone Post 3.0

Way different from the typical relationship threads on here... how many chances are you supposed to give someone though? Should it have to come to this for someone to make a change? On top of that you got no support when you needed it. I'd go with being happy.

Your wife has done nothing for 8 years?


Is this even a question?

OMG, first time posting before Mihow!!!!!!!!!!

I retire.

I agree. Wife wont change Phone Post

Your wife had her chance IMO. Go with what makes you happiest. Phone Post 3.0

You re basically her caregiver at this point. Move on, and you told your son to help and he punches holes in walls? Sounds like he's well on his way to being a piece of shit Phone Post 3.0

shaqitup - You re basically her caregiver at this point. Move on, and you told your son to help and he punches holes in walls? Sounds like he's well on his way to being a piece of shit Phone Post 3.0

yea wtf is that

What will make you the happiest? If you look at your life, there will probably be a pretty clear winner Phone Post 3.0

DoovyB -
shaqitup - You re basically her caregiver at this point. Move on, and you told your son to help and he punches holes in walls? Sounds like he's well on his way to being a piece of shit Phone Post 3.0

yea wtf is that
Was curious about that myself Phone Post 3.0

kids are 18 boy 15 girl and 11 girl.
Yes she cheated first time was with the chief anesthesiologist at the hospital she worked at this was full on full blown affair. second time I caught them while still in the texting/phone call stages. guys do not marry nurses!
second time ended with him getting fired and me getting a permant police record for "explaining" a few things to him and her. The seizure dis order started to get very bad just s few months later. I know I should have walked the first time,but stayed for the kids. The second time.... I never even had a chance to really think about . She got sick and I went into super dad mode. concentrating on the kids 100%

Dump her and move on Phone Post 3.0

If she can't work and you're the one initiating the divorce, what kinda money you think you're gonna have to pay?

It could ruin you financially...also consider if your new gf leaves you eventually....

You're breaking yourself over someone who cheated on you.

Man, when I was a kid, I figured one day I'd get older and things would start to make a lot of sense. They didn't, things actually get more and more confusing as I age.

This is a tough spot, man. You must be really worried about your kids thinking that you deserted them and your wife (I'm assuming they don't know about her infidelity or yours, but they'll definitely know what's up when they meet the new lady friend). You're trying to do the "right thing", but I don't think killing yourself for someone that would just as easily bolt on you given the opportunity would constitute that.

Fuck man, what a rough situation. Personally, I think you'll end up snapping at some point if you continue down this road. How do you even deal with the resentment you must have towards her?

If this forum has taught me anything its that your friend from the car show is a black guy. Do not leave your wife for a black guy.

autotech - kids are 18 boy 15 girl and 11 girl.
Yes she cheated first time was with the chief anesthesiologist at the hospital she worked at this was full on full blown affair. second time I caught them while still in the texting/phone call stages. guys do not marry nurses!
second time ended with him getting fired and me getting a permant police record for "explaining" a few things to him and her. The seizure dis order started to get very bad just s few months later. I know I should have walked the first time,but stayed for the kids. The second time.... I never even had a chance to really think about . She got sick and I went into super dad mode. concentrating on the kids 100%
Your son is 18 and still couldnt man up and help out? What a little faggot of a kid. Phone Post 3.0

alittleknowledge - Your wife has done nothing for 8 years?


Is this even a question?

Hey you seen Robbie around lately?