I am keeping an inter-species hostage.

The comedian Demetri Martin does a joke about how we treat our pets like they are inter-species hostages. He said you see this when someone opens the door for you and yells, "HEY! GET IN QUICKLY BEFORE HE GETS OUT! HE'S GETTING AWAY! CATCH HIM!" The relationship doesn't seem exactly consensual.

I'm experiencing the same thing with my cat. He's had to stay in a big dog kennel that I bought from a Chinese restaurant for about a month while his broken leg heals (as he's not supposed to jump up or down while he's recuperating). This has turned him sullen and mean. He's always been an outside cat and he can't go outside now because he limps and couldn't run from coyotes or dogs. He stares outside and then glares at me like I'm his captor.

Today he jumped a gate I put up across the entrance to the room he stays in (for when I let him out for monitored exercise, like in a prison yard). From a dead halt, he jumped about 4 feet over the gate and made a frenzied dash for the pet door. He limped so much I was able to grab him before he escaped.

Then I took him to the vet for a check-up on his leg. Everything is proceeding okay, and I put him in a big carrier I bought for the trip home. He's in it in the back of the SUV. I glanced back and see him squeezing out of an impossibly small air hole on the top until he pops out. He then jumped next to the rear door's window control, and (I swear) put his paw on the window button and lowered the window. He braced his body to jump put into the street, like a paratrooper preparing to jump out into the slipstream. We are going about 35 miles an hour in heavy traffic around a construction zone. I manage to reach back grab him around the waist, while trying to steer and close the window as he struggled to escape my grasp.

I finally wrestled him back inside, closed the window, and pulled over as soon as I could and crammed him back into the crate and put a box on top to try to keep him in for the rest of the trip home. 

My son suggested that he might be a human who is trapped inside the body of a cat, and is trying to escape to accomplish some mission that will place him back into his own body, and we keep frustrating his attempts to do so. Either that, or he is reincarnated. He said we should get a Ouija board and see if he uses it to spell out a message.

I think it would probably be something like FOOLS I AM NIKOLA TESLA DAMN YOUR EYES!

The Stewed Owl -


The comedian Demetri Martin does a joke about how we treat our pets like they are inter-species hostages. He said you see this when someone opens the door for you and yells, "HEY! GET IN QUICKLY BEFORE HE GETS OUT! HE'S GETTING AWAY! CATCH HIM!" The relationship doesn't seem exactly consensual.



I'm experiencing the same thing with my cat. He's had to stay in a big dog kennel that I bought from a Chinese restaurant for about a month while his broken leg heals (as he's not supposed to jump up or down while he's recuperating). This has turned him sullen and mean. He's always been an outside cat and he can't go outside now because he limps and couldn't run from coyotes or dogs. He stares outside and then glares at me like I'm his captor.



Today he jumped a gate I put up across the entrance to the room he stays in (for when I let him out for monitored exercise, like in a prison yard). From a dead halt, he jumped about 4 feet over the gate and made a frenzied dash for the pet door. He limped so much I was able to grab him before he escaped.



Then I took him to the vet for a check-up on his leg. Everything is proceeding okay, and I put him in a big carrier I bought for the trip home. He's in it in the back of the SUV. I glanced back and see him squeezing out of an impossibly small air hole on the top until he pops out. He then jumped next to the rear door's window control, and (I swear) put his paw on the window button and lowered the window. He braced his body to jump put into the street, like a paratrooper preparing to jump out into the slipstream. We are going about 35 miles an hour in heavy traffic around a construction zone. I manage to reach back grab him around the waist, while trying to steer and close the window as he struggled to escape my grasp.



I finally wrestled him back inside, closed the window, and pulled over as soon as I could and crammed him back into the crate and put a box on top to try to keep him in for the rest of the trip home. 



My son suggested that he might be a human who is trapped inside the body of a cat, and is trying to escape to accomplish some mission that will place him back into his own body, and we keep frustrating his attempts to do so. Either that, or he is reincarnated. He said we should get a Ouija board and see if he uses it to spell out a message.



I think it would probably be something like FOOLS I AM NIKOLA TESLA DAMN YOUR EYES!

I enjoyed this story. 

AnericanFootball - 

Get a dog you goof!



Got two of those. Both ex-shelter dogs, they seem to understand and appreciate the fact we have taken them in and don't want to run away. Neither does the senior cat. The younger cat, though, seems to think he's Steve McQueen in The Great Escape.

Hitman Herbert - Tldr. You have a cat that wants outside and you don't let it?


The vet says not for another month. 

He doesn't want to run away. He wants you to stop acting like his boss.

Quit fucking the cat and he wont keep trying to escape.

Frigging inter-species homo -rapist hostage-diddler.

fangclan - 

Quit fucking the cat and he wont keep trying to escape.

Frigging inter-species homo -rapist hostage-diddler.



I don't know what my cat has told you but he's lying.

Bring him home some fresh pussy. That will make him happy.

I was imagining the story animated as an episode of Ren and Stimpy as I read it..

yeah its pretty weird, I get keeping a dog around to hunt or so your blind-ass doesn't run into things but holding it hostage in your house and forcing it to give you affection after you  sexually mutilated it is what gives pet owners the warm fuzzies?

 

weird ppl.

ferox - I was imagining the story animated as an episode of Ren and Stimpy as I read it..


lol

Your threads and comments always make me smile