I bought a Squatty Potty today on Amazon

It might be the dumbest thing I've ever purchased. It could be replaced by a couple old books I don't use, or a cement block. But...EVERYONE fucking raves about them. I mean, it's white...it's got an easily adjustable size (7" or 9"), and it's curved to conform around my glorious throne. So, maybe it was worth the $20. I feel dumb, but I'm hoping for a revolution. I mean, shit, I think Bert Kreischer went on a rant about it.

And speaking of 1 bear, the other bear kept going on about the Tushy, which I also bought today. I'm not one to get suckered by marketing, though they are funny and clever. I researched an epic fuckton of them. That is basically what I did all day. I didn't care about hot water, or a heated seat or any of that shit. I just wanted to be able to move the angle of the nozzle manually. Some offer "his" or "her" with different nozzles, but the Tushy has a little lever that lets you rock it up and down...up and down...

Do any of you own a Squatty Potty? Is it really a game changer? And if you do own it, do you wish you would have just used an old step stool instead of purchasing a product just for purging? I don't own a step stool, so there's that. But I'm sure I could have come up with something to elevate my feet 7 inches off the ground.

This has been my "asshole" rant of the evening. Good day.

2 Likes

I would have sold you mine for half price.  Slight urine smell

1 Like

What's the point 

I bought a new toilet for the main bathroom and got the tall one and it sucks balls.... I'm 5 8 and my feet almost dangle...

Thank god my ensuite has a normal fucking toilet....

I was surprised to learn the 9" model came in white.

4 Likes
EFM -

I was surprised to learn the 9" model came in white.

giggidy

I haven’t been in a gym or exercised my core in 5 years, have a poor diet, and my shit schedule is lined up for mornings before work. When I roll out of bed half awake the squatty potty gives me that extra oomph to get one out.

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EFM -

I was surprised to learn the 9" model came in white.

12" comes in black. special order

Are these just for short people then?

You’ll never leave three 8" logs again. Imagine a single, straight as an arrow, 24" brown trout, ready for the taxidermist. Every Single Morning. Add a bidet for the ultimate pooping experience.

1 Like
NiteProwleR -

What's the point 

You ever take one of those shits where you shit. then shit again. then shit again. then wipe and get up, then have to sit down and shit again?

this supposedly makes that process a lot...smoother, by removing a "kink" in your colon. see, man of old didn't have porcelain thrones. we squatted and shat in the bushes. so, by raising your knees up higher, it straightens some shit out, and supposedly makes the process a lot easier. 

Costco has them, two for $20. So you can save some cash if you're trying to outfit more than one bathroom 

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Yes. I love it. Also have a bidet. I love that too. I shit in the lap of luxury.

I’m waiting until I can find a used one.

SergesBeefyHopeFlaps - Yes. I love it. Also have a bidet. I love that too. I shit in the lap of luxury.

Glorious! There’s something magical about a dump so massive your pants fit looser. Much like launching a ship from dry dock. And a sparkling clean balloon knot!

samichlaus - You'll never leave three 8" logs again. Imagine a single, straight as an arrow, 24" brown trout, ready for the taxidermist. Every Single Morning. Add a bidet for the ultimate pooping experience.

SOLD!

SergesBeefyHopeFlaps - Yes. I love it. Also have a bidet. I love that too. I shit in the lap of luxury.

Well I'm getting a Tushy for my Toto Drake. My downstairs dumper is a dogshit round one from 30 years ago - a Mansfield, but I've been putting off replacing it. Future, post apocalypse plans, are to get another Toto Drake for downstairs. At that point I'll move the Tushy down there, and buy a very nice actual bidet for the master bath upstairs. I got my bro a Lotus Hygiene Systems ATS-500 after much research. Made in South Korea, good price, every feature you can imagine that isn't stupid (like a "sanitization" feature where you have to buy their product and feed it into a reservior, or a "child protection device". Whatever the fuck that is. I'm not sure how a kid could injure himself with a bidet, less "You'll shoot your eye out!"). That will eventually be the main bidet. So when my friends show me their Mercedes, I will show them my Toto Drake with a luxury bidet, and they will know what is best in life.

Then they will buy one with the excessive riches they used to buy a Mercedes in the first place.  

![](upload://6tmNW8vIgXtOvGiEoWHjMX40BFm.jpeg)

samichlaus -

![](upload://6tmNW8vIgXtOvGiEoWHjMX40BFm.jpeg)

http://static.planetminecraft.com/files/resource_media/screenshot/1248/minecraft_4289159_lrg.jpg

this site is so irreperably fucked up.