I need your guys advice badly...

I know this should be in the OG but i need answers from other spirtual people and people who will take me serious. So, please do not move it.

I have a big dilema i guess one could say. I started seeing my current gf who has had sex before. I wanted to basically be good in bed so i wanted to lose my virginity to my ex as well so i could be betetr with her i guess (i know stupid theory). The thing is i kept putting it off with my ex and i ended up losing my virginity to my gf now. The thing is i called my gf by my exs name a couple times and she kept sayin i still loved her. So, i wanted to find out if i did actually lover her in order to trully be faithful wiht my gf, i couldn't date her and still love my ex in my head.

For whatever reason i thought the only way i could do this is to sleep with my ex (i don't know how i justified these acitons in my head, maybe because my gf had sex so many times with her ex or w.e i honestly don't know). I ended up having sex with my ex, if youd call it that... i ended up not finishing because i went limp because i knew what i was doing was wrong, i didn't even get it hard enough to have sex in the first place. But to get to the end of the story i know for sure i have no feelings towards my ex. But i still keep sayin her name in my head i think its because i feel guilty for cheating on my current gf.

Heres where my problem comes in. I trully love my gf and she loves and treats me better than anyone in this world ever has. She has told me she'll be with me forever unless i cheat on her. I feel i should tell her but i risk losing her for life, shes the one i really want to be with. In my mind at the time i felt it wasn't really cheatin though because we had just started datin and i needed to know if i liked my ex or not in order to either continue the current relationship or end it.

I REALLY LOVE THIS GIRL shes the only reason i stayed in uni for first semester. I was depressed alot and she helped me through it. I don't know if i could take losing her... i don't know what i should do here.

This is why i ask you guys.

I know this should be in the OG but i need answers from other spirtual people and people who will take me serious. So, please do not move it.

I have a big dilema i guess one could say. I started seeing my current gf who has had sex before. I wanted to basically be good in bed so i wanted to lose my virginity to my ex as well so i could be betetr with her i guess (i know stupid theory). The thing is i kept putting it off with my ex and i ended up losing my virginity to my gf now. The thing is i called my gf by my exs name a couple times and she kept sayin i still loved her. So, i wanted to find out if i did actually lover her in order to trully be faithful wiht my gf, i couldn't date her and still love my ex in my head.

For whatever reason i thought the only way i could do this is to sleep with my ex (i don't know how i justified these acitons in my head, maybe because my gf had sex so many times with her ex or w.e i honestly don't know). I ended up having sex with my ex, if youd call it that... i ended up not finishing because i went limp because i knew what i was doing was wrong, i didn't even get it hard enough to have sex in the first place. But to get to the end of the story i know for sure i have no feelings towards my ex. But i still keep sayin her name in my head i think its because i feel guilty for cheating on my current gf.

Heres where my problem comes in. I trully love my gf and she loves and treats me better than anyone in this world ever has. She has told me she'll be with me forever unless i cheat on her. I feel i should tell her but i risk losing her for life, shes the one i really want to be with. In my mind at the time i felt it wasn't really cheatin though because we had just started datin and i needed to know if i liked my ex or not in order to either continue the current relationship or end it.

I REALLY LOVE THIS GIRL shes the only reason i stayed in uni for first semester. I was depressed alot and she helped me through it. I don't know if i could take losing her... i don't know what i should do here.

This is why i ask you guys.

"i don't know what i should do here."

Stop having sex with women yuo're not married to.

that is good advice.

Other advice would be to talk to your present girlfriend and tell her everything. If she leaves you, atleast the truth was told. If you do not tell, you are basing a relationship on a lie, this will gnaw at you forever, and will destroy the trust in your relationship.

I know this is hard, I hope things work out for you.

the rev

i am not in highschool. I am a univeristy student, this is why i came to you for help. This is the girl i can see myself being with... i don't know what to do.

Aaron,

Please let me point out that you cannot be a Christian and a witch, they are completely different religions. Oh wait, you said a Christain witch, since I do not know what a Christain is, I suppose you could be a Christain and a witch.

Nevermind.

But here's to building a good foundation of weeks, the old one of 52 a year is really outdated.

the rev

imo the truth is more important then anything here. Most of all perhaps for your own sake, afterwards it´s not nice to live in a lie.

No, and I am wrong for doing so. I would encourage you to make the effort to make your posts a bit more readable. If what you are saying is important,then value it enough to make the effort.

You are definately annoying me, which is my issue not yours. Maybe if you posted a thread about yourself, your faith journey, and your hopes and dreams I would be able to relate to you as a person and not an anonymous internet forum poster.

the rev

Stop the sex until you are married and sit down and talk to your girlfriend.

Seriously that will ehlp because you know how chicks like to talk abotu feelings and all that crap.

Future prodigy,

How it is going?

It seems that it is ALREADY gnawing at you. It will most likely only get stronger.

But you are not the first person who has done this, you won't be the last.

Suppose you wait for years and then, when your relationship is strong and you're still troubled by your actions, you break down and finally tell her. She'll be twice as hurt and angry.

I do not believe as many on here may that you should not have sex until you're married. But I do believe it should be an act of love, not lust and a demonstration of committment to someone else, not satisfaction of your own needs.

You may get dumped. But the best relationships aren't just built on trust, they require trust to survive.

futureprodigy...

the best advice i can give you is this...

tell your current girlfriend everything...she'll probably dump you, but thats ok. life WILL go on.

after that...take alot of time to concentrate on yourself and the person you want to be. wait until you have things sorted out before getting involved in another serious relationship. go ahead and date (thats how you meet people) but dont get mired down in a relationship you cannot commit to because you arent ready.

and lastly, pray about it...the answer will be there when you are ready to listen

p.s.

just so you know, i went through a divorce and am remarried and my circumstances were messed up too. if i had it to do over again, i would have waited until my issues with my ex were settled before starting another relationship. I will say that my wife is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me...so i dont regret anything, i just know what i would have done differently

sin grows and preys on us in darkness. Keep it hidden and you will continue in it, or it will always be a festering sore that keeps you from being truly connected to her.

the rev

If you really respect her you will stop having sex before marriage. You and her should make a pact not to break it until marriage. I feel like a hyprocrite giving this advice, as I didnt follow my own advice. But I have paid for it as well. And just dont want you to follow down the same painful road.

My wife and I did not have sex before we were married, and we have been happilly married for over sixteen years. Did the chastity cause this happiness? No, but it helped I believe.

the rev

John, I do somewhat believe what your advice is regarding his girlfriend. But at the same time, they are not married. And if he is going to ask for forgiveness, the only one he really needs it from is God. But as you know, I am still new to this and trying to find my place in this world.

"I feel like a hyprocrite giving this advice, as I didnt follow my own advice."

Seems like even most those who endorse that advice must admit the same thing.

"My wife and I did not have sex before we were married"

Bit personal Rev, but do you mean didnt have sex period, or not with each other?

I wonder how many Christians on here can honestly say they and their spouse married as virgins?

TTT

thank you everyone for such good responses and some for the lack of them. I appreciate the responses that people took to heart and actually gave heart felt replies. I ended up telling her, and to my surprise her response was "I already kind of knew and had prepared myself for that but i still want to remain with you." So, yes i am still with her and happier now more than ever.

We had had sex before we became Christians. So I was celibate for the year and a half before I met my wife, and for the two years we dated before we were married. So we were not virgins on our wedding day, though I wish I had been.

the rev